The Customer Has Been Tagged

| USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a big retail chain where I am working the self checkout. A customer comes over to the self checkout with an arm full of shirts. As she walks over, I see her pull all of the tags off and slip them into her purse. She then waves me over.)

Guest: “Miss, these shirts don’t have any tags. I’ve seen them on the sales table for $2 each.”

Me: “Okay, I will call the fashion department and ask them if they have a $2 sale.”

Guest: *face goes pale* “No, it’s $2 off, believe me.”

Me: “…or the price tags could be in your purse.”

Guest: “F*** you!” *throws shirts on the ground and storms away*

Coworker: “What happened?”

(I tell my coworker the story and he laughs.)

Coworker: “Oh yeah, she comes in here all the time and does it. Most of the time she bullies or screams until she gets her way, or gets kicked out. I can’t believe you had the guts to say that.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12

| Natchitoches, LA, USA | Bad Behavior

(I’m browsing the yarn section of a well-known big box retailer. There is another customer, a middle-aged man, slowly making his way down the aisle.)

Customer: *stands next to me and clears his throat*

Me: *takes two steps to the right* “Sorry I’m in the way, hon. I don’t know what colors I want.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, that’s not my problem, is it? Where are the iron-on patches?”

Me: *gestures* “On the other aisle over there with the sewing notions.”

Customer: “Hmph! I meant for you to show me exactly where to find them!”

(At this point, I remember I’m wearing the jacket for my job, which is the same color as the shirts and jackets this store’s employees wear.)

Me: “Oh!” *I point at my store’s logo on the front of my jacket* “I don’t work here! I work at [Convenience Store] in Robeline. I only know where they are because I sew. I don’t use those, though, as I’d rather sew a patch. There are sew-on patches over there, too.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me and don’t try to change the subject! Your jacket is the same color as the other employees’ jackets!”

Me: “Honey, I work for [Convenience Store], not [Retailer].” *I point at the logo again* “See? Completely different logo.”

Customer: “Don’t you ‘honey’ me, you brat! If you were my kid I’d tan your hide! The trouble with you kids these days is that you don’t respect your elders!”

Me: “First off, I am NOT a child! I am twenty-four years old, which means I am a grown woman. Second, I have already told you that I don’t work here and showed you proof of the fact. Third, the d***ed patches you’re looking for are one aisle over, next to the other sewing notions, and they’re right in plain sight! If you can’t find them, that’s your problem, not mine!”

(The customer storms off muttering about disrespectful employees. When I go to check-out later, I find myself at the end of the line in the same lane as him and notice that he has the iron-on patches.)

Me: *loudly* “Glad to have been of service, sir!”

Customer: *to his cashier* “I’d like to know who to speak to so that I can report her! She was very rude to me earlier!”

Cashier: *chuckles* “Sir, she doesn’t work here. She works at [Convenience Store]. I see her there all the time when I’m passing through.”

Customer: “You’re just covering for her! I’m going to take this to corporate!”

Cashier: “You have a good day, sir!”

Customer: *storms off with his bags*

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

Nothing Like A Spoon To Stir Things Up

| Manchester, NH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Top

(An older gentleman enters the store with a young woman who might be his granddaughter. She pauses at a display near the door, while he approaches me. I’m standing next to one of our speaker displays, which is blasting a hit country-pop song.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]!”

Customer: “Hello there!”

Me: *noticing he’s studying the speakers* “Are you interested in—”

Customer: *deadpan* “This would be great spooning music.”

(I’m completely shocked by this, and I don’t know how to respond. Before I can say anything, he pulls a pair of table spoons out of his shirt pocket and begins to play along with the music!)

Customer: “Yeah! See? This is great!”

(He calls over his granddaughter, and she pulls out a pair of spoons and starts to play, too! They have a five-minute jam session at the front of the store, and then spend 20 minutes happily chatting with my coworkers and me before making their purchases and leaving. It makes my day!)