Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

(I am a customer in this story and am with my grandmother. The cashier is an older woman in her mid- to late-60s.)

Cashier: “Well dearie, I think we’ve finished the returns. So, we can start on your purchases.” *starts scanning items*

Me: “Thanks. It took me a while to find these bargains.”

Cashier: “Well, I can tell by your savings now that you’ve done pretty well!”

(Without warning, another customer pushes past me and my grandmother and starts trying to take my items.)

Cashier: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, ma’am. These do not belong to you. These belong to these ladies here.”

Other Customer: “RACISM! I knew this store was racist! Trying to take MY ITEMS and give them to this WHITE TRASH HERE!”

(Note: the other customer is also white. My poor grandmother is bewildered and doesn’t know what to say or do. The cashier is on the verge of tears and calls security.)

Me: “Excuse me, but those items are indeed mine. I spent almost two hours here with my grandmother trying to find them. If you want, I can tell you where I found them.”

Other Customer: “LIES! You stole them from me! B***h, you are gonna get SUED!”

(At this moment, security shows up.)

Security: *to the other customer* “Oh, no she isn’t. Lady, we have to talk with you.”

Other Customer: “About time! Take this trailer trash outta the store! Stealing my things! It’s a crime. I’ll sue you and your store and this b**** for thievery!”

Security: “Lady, we have security cameras in the store. We checked them and discovered you have been the one stealing. So, you’re going to have to come with us.”

Other Customer: “LIKE H*** I AM!” *runs out of the store with security chasing her*

Cashier: *to me grandmother and I* “I am so sorry. Would you like store credit or something?”

(My grandmother and I talk and decide not to take it because it wasn’t the store’s fault. Instead, I pay for my items and we leave. On our way out, we see the other customer is being questioned by police.)

My Grandmother: *to the other customer* “B****! You got what you deserved. Karma got you back, fool!”

Related:
Ah, Grandmothers
Ah, Mothers
Ah, Fathers
Ah, Fathers, Part 2

Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Dishwasher

| Christchurch, New Zealand | Extra Stupid

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to purchase this dishwasher.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t actually have any in stock at the moment. It’s about a week’s wait.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! I NEED ONE TODAY! How am I supposed to do the dishes if I don’t have a dishwasher for a whole week?!”

Retail Can Leave You Bor-g-ed Stiff

| Michigan, USA | Bizarre

(It’s towards the end of my work day, and I grab at the first item in a customer’s order right as she swipes her card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, your card did not read as I hadn’t scanned the first item yet.”

Customer: “NOOO!”

Me: *surprised* “Huh?”

Customer: “You have ROBOT-ITIS!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “You said that like you say it a million times a day! Put more feeling into it, Miss Robot!”

The Facts Of Second Life

| Southern California, USA | Bizarre

(A customer in her 40s approaches me to ask where something is. As I am answering her question, she notices my name tag.)

Customer: “Oh! I didn’t realize they had to give you names! How nice of them to try and give you more of an identity!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, since you’re a robot and all.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that I’m a person. In fact…” *I point to my pregnant belly* “…I’m a person growing ANOTHER person.”

Customer: “No, no, can’t be. That documentary with Bruce Willis said workers were being replaced with robots.”

Me: “…You mean Surrogates?”

Customer: “That’s the one!”

Me: “Ma’am, that was a movie. Didn’t you watch the whole thing?”

Customer: “Oh, no. Just a chunk in the middle I think. It was rather over-dramatic for a documentary, and I just couldn’t get into it. Got the gist of it though! Don’t worry, I don’t mind that you’re a robot. Technology today! WONDERFUL!” *walks away*

Me: *speechless*

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Frauds Rush In

| Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal

(I’m working the self checkouts at my store when I notice a customer about to walk out the door with unpaid merchandise. I call her out.)

Me: “Miss, there’s a machine over here you can use to pay for those.”

Customer: “But, you see, I’m in a hurry!”

(She realizes she’s making excuses for stealing and glumly walks over to the machine. I watch her closely during the transaction and notice she only scans one of two items.)

Me: “Miss, that product didn’t scan. You’re going to have to try again.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this. I’m in a rush!”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to buy it.”

Customer: “Oh, thank God!” *picks up products to leave without paying*

Me: “But, then you can’t actually take them.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll deal with the stupid machine. But you should really be more considerate of people who are in a rush!”

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