The Pen Is Mighter Than The Brain, Part 2

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Uncategorized

(My work has touch screens for credit and debit transactions.)

Customer: “Your screen has lines all over it. It’s really hard to read.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Sorry. It still works fine, but the screens always seem to do that.”

(The customer uses her finger to enter her pin number. We have pens attached to each machine for customers to enter pins and sign for credit cards.)

Me: “Actually, could you use the pen? It makes it easier to use.”

Customer: “No thanks. This is okay.”

Me: “That’s actually the reason the machine’s screen has lines.”

Related:
The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 2

| Allentown, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(It is store policy to ask customers for zip codes, purely for survey purposes.)

Me: “Good evening. May I have you zip code, please?”

Customer: “No! That’s how they find you!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I heard it on the news. The number one way that people steal your identity is from your zip code!”

Me: “I’ll just enter a random one, then.”

Customer: “Thank you. Hey, do you guys ever have coupon specials?”

Me: “Oh, yes. Several times a year. We send out coupons to our email list. Would you like to sign up?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “Alright. When you get home, you can go to our website. The address is on your receipt. Sign up with your email address there.”

Customer: “Wait, you’ll have my email address then?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s how the coupons and discounts get sent out. However, we keep that information very private. It’s not given out to anyone else.”

Customer: “No way, they’ll use it to steal my identity! Let me give you my street address. You can send things there.”

(The customer proceeds to hand me a blank check with all her info. She doesn’t even bother to void it.)

Related:
One Annoyed Paranoid

The Race Against Identity Theft

| MI, USA | Top

(I’m ringing up a customer. He hands me a credit card.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Customer #1: “Sure.”

(As he is getting his ID out, the next customer in line, a white soccer mom, speaks up.)

Customer #2: “I don’t believe this s***! I’m going to report you, you racist b****!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer #2: “You heard me. You didn’t ask for the ID of the white lady before him, but a black man has a card and you check his. That’s racist s***! What, you think because he’s black he stole that or something?”

Customer #2, to customer #1: “Why are you so calm? This isn’t the 50’s! You don’t have to put up with this s***. Tell her off!”

Customer #1: “Actually, she asked me because I have ‘See ID’ written on my card.”

Customer #2: “Oh…well. Um…okay.”

You Bite It, You Buy It

, | Clitheroe, England, UK | Uncategorized

(I work in a charity shop selling used items. A customer walks up to me with a pair of gloves.)

Customer: “Are these gloves waterproof?”

Me: “They look it, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll just test them out.”

(The customer then proceeds to bite the gloves, covering them with his spit in the process, while everyone close to him looks on in horror.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take these.”

Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence, Part 2

| Harrisburg, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to the register with nothing but a coupon.)

Customer: “Can I use this? It says $15.”

Me: “Yes, that will get you $15 off anything in the store.”

Customer: “Okay. I want to use it.”

Me: “No problem. Just go ahead and shop around for whatever you’d like, and then I’ll apply the coupon when you check out.”

Customer: “It says fifteen dollars. I can get fifteen dollars?”

Me: “This is a coupon, so the fifteen dollars will be deducted from the price of whatever you purchase.”

Customer: “Fifteen dollars?”

Me: “Yes sir, all you have to do is go pick out what you’d like.”

Customer: “I want fifteen dollars.”

Me: “I understand, but to get the fifteen dollars off, you must purchase something here.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have an idea of what you were looking for? I can direct you to the right section.”

Customer: “Fifteen… dollars?”

Me: “Yes. Fifteen dollars.”

(The customer turns around and slowly wanders out of the store.)

Related:
Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence