Christmas Consideration

| Richmond, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. There is only one register open as the day is just beginning. My shopping cart is filled with three dozen books and other sundry items.)

Cashier: “Good morning. Can I interest you in signing up today for a [Store] card? You’ll save on future purchases here at [Store].”

Me: “Only if you open a second register to help the lady behind me.”

(We both turn at look at a 40-ish female carrying at least a dozen different items. She can barely see or carry her load.)

Cashier: “Madam, we can help you at lane two. We’ve just opened it.”

Me: *to the cashier* “Thank you. My name is…”

(Registering for the card and checking out took just a few minutes. Stay classy out there, fellow Christmas shoppers!)

The High Point Of Black Friday

| ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a chocolatier. We’ve opened at midnight for our Black Friday sale. My job is to greet shoppers as they come in and offer everyone a sample. By 4 am I’m exhausted from the rush. A customer comes in. He is red faced, and wearing a shirt several sizes too small.)

Customer: “Hey. You know what? I’ve always thought you guys should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

(The customer takes a sample, and then leaves. I turn to my manager.)

Me: “What was that?”

Manager: “Oh, he was definitely high. Welcome to Black Friday sales!”

Outdated And Outsmarted

| Kent, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m doing a bit of Christmas shopping. I stop at a calendar stand in the middle of the shopping center, and start looking through the stock. I think nothing of two customers appearing next to me until they start talking.)

Customer #1: “Are these calendars for next year?”

Customer #2: “I don’t know. Check the date.”

Customer #1: “I can’t see it.”

Me: “Are you serious?”

Customer #1: “Excuse me?”

Me: “It’s the middle of December. The last month of the year. Why would anybody need to buy a calendar for this year?”

Customer #2: “You can’t talk to my daughter like that! She’s not stupid!”

Me: “With all due respect, I’m not the one questioning if calendars being sold in December are for next year.”