A Significantly Delayed Light-Bulb Moment

| MO, USA | Right | April 4, 2015

(Due to new government regulations, a number of light bulbs have been discontinued. We still sell them but will not get more in stock once the ones we have are gone. Because of this, a number of people have been buying them in large numbers. A customer approaches my register with his arms full of them.)

Me: “Oh, stocking up, eh?”

Customer: “Everyone is going to get mercury poisoning from CFL bulbs. And LED bulbs don’t work.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know, I have LED bulbs in my house, and they work fine—”

Customer: “Global warming is a farce!”

Me: “Um… what?”

Customer: “We are seventeen years into an ice age! Soon people will be wishing they had these light bulbs to heat their houses!”

Me: “Oh… okay… Well, you have a good day, sir.”

Not So Smart Phone, Part 9

| Indonesia | Working | April 3, 2015

(My aunt is from a small village, married at young age, and looks younger than me even though she is seven years older. She has two sons, aged three and ten. She is about to get her first smartphone and I accompany her and her sons to buy it at our local store. We have just checked some phones and I try to explain to her some features. A young male employee approaches us.)

Employee: “Hi, young lady!” *smiles at my aunt* “We have the newest advanced smartphones that will make your classmates envy, just right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I think we are fine.”

Employee: *completely ignoring me* “Look at this new smartphone.” *points to the most expensive phone in the store*  “You even can play YouTube in HD without need to wait for the buffer.”

(I giggle, since I know my aunt doesn’t even understand what YouTube, HD, or buffer are. And his explanation is still incorrect since that all depends on the connection speed.)

My Aunt: “I’m so sorry; I think I’m fine with my niece. Thank you.”

(At the same time one of my cousin runs to my aunt and call her ‘Mommy.’)

Employee: *wide his mouth for seconds then scream* “WHAT THE H*** IS GOING ON HERE? DON’T LIE TO ME! GIRLS AT YOUR AGE CAN’T HAVE A NIECE AND CHILD YET!”

(Due to his loud voice, my cousin starts crying and my aunt carries him to outside the store.)

Me: *looking furiously at the employee* “What the h*** are you talking about?!”

Employee: “DON’T LIE TO ME! I GOOGLE EVERYTHING! I KNOW GIRLS AT HER AGE CAN’T HAVE A NIECE AND CHILD!”

(This time, one of the other coworkers finally comes over, and seems to want to try to cool the situation, but I am too angry.)

Me: “This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.” *to his coworker* “Please inform this to your higher-ups, and don’t let this stupidity ruin your store image.” *to the employee* “I don’t know what else to say, except maybe don’t believe everything you read on the Internet!”

 

Acting Bright At The End Of The World

| Norway | Right | April 3, 2015

(It’s a few weeks before Christmas and I am helping a customer carry a very heavy floor lamp out to her car. It’s been raining most of December, instead of snowing, which is unusual in Norway.)

Customer: *in a sing-song voice* “Oh, I just love the rain!”

Me: *smiling* “Yeah? I kind of prefer snow this time of year myself.”

Customer:  *looking both happy and serious* “Oh no, snow messes up the view! The world is going under, it’s ending, and it is important that the view is clear so everyone can see it go down!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Here’s my car. Thanks for the help! Bye!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(I was left wondering why she needed the lamp when the world was ending anyway. Maybe to see it happen more clearly?)

Babying The Customers

| LA, USA | Right | April 3, 2015

(I used to own a small shop that made custom t-shirts. I am now retired… Customers like this one are one of the reasons:)

Customer: *holding up a child’s tee shirt* “Do you think this will fit my baby?”

Me: *looking around, no child in sight* “Sure. Perfect fit.”

If You Put Your Mind To It

| Switzerland | Right | April 2, 2015

(I work part time in a store that sells sweets and little toys. A man in his mid-twenties walks in.)

Customer: “I’d like to buy this. How much would that be?” *points at an item*

Me: “That would be [Price].”

Customer: “So. I’m thinking about [Price] right now. I take it out of my mental savings account and mentally transfer it to you. How about that?”

Me: *puzzled* “Uhm…”

Customer: “Did you get it?”

Me: “Uhm… No, I didn’t get it. I work with real money here.”

Customer: “But I want to buy it with my mental money! Can’t I buy it like this? I’m imagining it really, really hard right now! I WANT THIS!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t help you with that.”

Customer: “Well, at least I tried.”

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