Cold Customers To Calculating Staff

| Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science

(Working on the till can sometimes get a bit boring and repetitive, especially when having to ask the same questions over and over again. To keep my brain busy, when a customer pays with cash I sometimes work out the change in my head before the till tells me what it is.)

Me: “Your change today will be [amount].”

(I enter the amount of money given into the till. Sure enough, I am correct with the change.)

Customer: “You knew it beforehand? How did you know?”

Me: “Um, mental arithmetic?”

Customer: “No, no! You work in a shop! You shouldn’t know math! Honestly, what next?!”

Makes You Want To Run A Mile In No One’s Shoes

| Kent, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m working alone at a smaller store in a well-known local chain. Only two of the 20 locations in the state sell shoes, but people always ask. I’m ringing up a customer when the phone rings.)

Me: “Sorry, I have to grab that.”

Customer: “Okay! No problem.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [store] in Kent; how can I help you?”

(Silence.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [store] in Kent.”

Caller: *screaming* “HI, DO YOU GUYS HAVE SHOES?”

Me: “Sorry, no, the only stores that have shoes are [location] and [location].”

Caller: “ARE YOU SURE?”

Me: “…yeah, you have to go to either [location] or [location] if you want shoes.”

Caller: “I DON’T LIKE THAT ANSWER.”

Me: “Sorry, but that’s the only one I have for you. Anything else I can do for you tonight?”

Caller: “NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! UGH!” *click*

Me: “Well, okay then…”

Customer: *laughing* “Sounds like you’re having a great night so far!”

If A Tree Falls In A Dollar Store…

| OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work in a dollar store that has a lot of varying inventory. It’s not uncommon for people to come in and ask me if we have received a particular item in on the truck.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

Customer: “Yes I did. I love coming in here and seeing all the new stuff you get. But I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, if I can’t answer it I’m sure I can find someone who can.”

Customer: “If I’m looking for something and I can’t find it, is it free?”

Me: “I would suppose so. If we don’t have it, I can’t charge you for buying it.”

Customer: “So if I look around and I do find it?”

Me: “Then you found it and it’s no longer free.”

(The customer thinks for a second while I finish ringing him up, pays, and turns back to me as he’s walking out.)

Customer: “You win this round; can I go home now?”

Me: “I assume so; I’m not stopping you.”

(The customer walks out happy as can be.)