A Rewarding Comeback

| Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Workers

(Our chain has a rewards program that allows customers to get points on select purchases.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Do you have your rewards card?”

Customer: “You mean the one that never saves me any money?”

Me: “I’ve stopped taking things personally a long time ago, sir.”

Thinks You’re The Big Cheese

| AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work inside a store, giving out free samples of specific branded products. I don’t actually work FOR the store, I only work inside it to push the products. My shift is over and I am cleaning and packing up when a lady taps me on the shoulder.)

Lady: “Is the price for this $3?”

(She shows me a meat/cheese tray and points to a price tag that says “cheese dip.”)

Me: “No, this price tag is for this product.”

(I point to the cheese dip, and I notice the price tag for the item in her hand is missing.)

Lady: “But this product was underneath that price tag, which means I can have it for $3.”

Me: “No, because they are two completely different items.”

Lady: “But the price says $3!”

Me: “Yes, $3 for cheese dips, not for meat and cheese trays.”

Lady: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but I can try to find someone who does!”

Lady: “You BETTER find me someone who works here, like YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I don’t work here!”

(At this point her teenage daughter was in the background saying, “can we just go?” over and over. I waved my arm at a passing employee and quickly gathered my supplies to bolt, but I heard her behind me saying how I refused to help and refused to get my manager!)

Laptop Flop: Now Out On DVD

| NJ, USA | Technology

(I work at a major electronic retailer in the computer department. A customer and wife comes in with an ancient laptop with VGA and S Video inputs.)

Customer: “I would like to buy a cable to run from my laptop to my TV, so I can watch movies.”

Me: “Why don’t you just buy a DVD player?”

Customer: *pauses and thinks for a minute* “I already have one of those.”

Me: “Then why don’t you just use that?”

Customer: “I don’t know. I guess I just forgot about it.”

(They left and I just stood there in shock.)

Extra Register Does Not Register

| CT, USA | At The Checkout

(A coworker and I are working the registers during an early afternoon shift at our store. We are both busy ringing out customers at our respective registers, when an elderly gentleman, looking highly confused, approaches my coworker with two younger girls. Keep in mind that I am currently handing my customer her change for the transaction and her receipt, and my coworker is scanning items for her customer. There is also a sign above the registers that says “Check Out Here.” This is all in plain view of the elderly man.)

Elderly Customer: “Is this a register?”

Younger Girls: “YES, IT IS A REGISTER!”

Elderly Customer: “Are you sure?”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, this is a register. Either I or [My Name] could help ring you out in one moment.”

Elderly Customer: “But are you sure? All you are doing is folding clothes. Can you ring me out here?”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, I can ring you out now.”

Elderly Customer: “But you can ring me out here?”

Coworker: *clearly getting annoyed* “Yes, I am free to help ring you out right HERE.”

Elderly Customer: “Okay, but this is really a register? You looked busy folding those clothes, I assumed you were putting them away. I’m so happy you can accommodate me and ring me out here. It would be too hard finding the actual registers!”

(All the while, one of our supervisors overhears the conversation and walks over to me.)

Supervisor: *whispers* “Because clearly the area marked ‘Check Out Here’ is not a register! We should have told him these were the dressing rooms!”

Can Still Be Frou-Frou After Poo-Poo

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am on my way to use the restroom. The path takes me through our clothing department, where two women are looking through the racks. As I draw closer, one of them turns and shouts.)

Customer: “Jesus Christ! FINALLY, a person!”

Me: *startled* “Hello! How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I HAVE MS AND JUST POOPED MY PANTS!”

(Her tone was not that of someone in panic because she’d just had an accident, but more of pure, unbridled rage that I somehow hadn’t correctly guessed what was happening on my own.)

Customer: “OH, MY F****** GOD, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE STARING AT ME? I HAVE MS AND JUST POOPED IN MY PANTS!”

Me: *completely unsure of what she wanted me to do about it* “I’m sorry, ma’am, there’s a restroom right over here where you can clean—”

Customer: “YOU’RE SO INCOMPETENT! I NEED NEW CLOTHES RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, what size do you wear? I can get you a change of clothes while you use the restr—”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU JOKING? I HAVE A MESS IN MY PANTS AND YOU—” *shakes her head and flails her hands in the air like I’m the dumbest person she has ever encountered*

(Meanwhile her companion quietly wanders away, unwilling to calm her down or help with the situation.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to help you.”

Customer: “F****** FINE! GET ME SOME SHORTS!”

(I go to the nearest rack of shorts and grab a pair that I guess are close to her size.)

Customer: “ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME? SERIOUSLY? I WOULDN’T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THOSE!”

(She rolled her eyes, turned, and trailing obscenities stormed out the door while shaking her head and waving her arms around. Apparently one should be concerned with fashion first, regardless of the situation.)

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