A Brutal Return

, | UK | Bad Behavior

(As an online retailer we send thousands of parcels out every day. Occasionally we make mistakes or have items with small insignificant faults sent back. But this has to be one of the best complaint letters ever received. No name or return address; just a letter that reads as follows, and a small 15cm line of paper that gets peeled off the sticky strip on the parcel when it’s sealed:)

Note: “Hello there, I think you put this in my delivery by mistake. I enclose it here as I do not want your rubbish. Hopefully you have driven to the sorting office to collect it and pay for the stamp I forgot to put on the envelope. #Keepyourtrash #Notimpressed”

(Brutal.)

Cash Back Attack, Part 3

| Carbonear, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a big chain store and we allow combined payment: that is, paying with both cash and debit/credit. We also offer cash-back on request. One day, a female customer comes up in the line. Putting through the items is uneventful. What happens next, baffles me.)

Me: “Your total is [total over $20].”

Customer: “I’d like to pay some on cash, some on debit, please.”

Me: “Sure.”

(She gives me the cash, a 20 dollar bill. I deposit it into the register and prepare the debit machine.)

Me: “All right, go ahead and insert the card when you’re ready.”

Customer: “I’d also like 20 dollars cash back, please.”

(Slightly dumbfounded, I make a confused face for a moment, which she doesn’t see luckily.)

Me: “Uh, sure, just select it on the screen there.”

(I gave her the cash-back and even after she left I still struggled to understand the thought process.)

Related:
Cash Back Attack, Part 2
Cash Back Attack

Has Them Frothing At The Mouth

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work in a department store with several small kitchen appliances, all of which have displays out that a customer can look at and fiddle with. When an item goes out of stock, we often sell off the display for a small discount. A customer approaches me with a milk frother that is part of an espresso machine set.)

Customer: “Hi, I noticed there weren’t any more of these on the shelf. Can I take this one?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, that frother is part of a set. It comes with a machine, and so you have to purchase the machine itself if you want that frother. Otherwise, I could order one for you that doesn’t go with the machine, with free shipping as well.”

Customer: “Hmm, no, I really need it today. Can’t I just take this one?”

Me: “Well, no. As I said, it’s part of a set. You have to buy the whole machine.”

Customer: “But it’s not attached or anything! You can do this for me, can’t you?”

(The customer adopts a grossly sweet tone with me in an apparent attempt to flatter me into giving her the display. We proceed with several more minutes of me telling her that she absolutely cannot have the display. Finally, she gets more belligerent.)

Customer: “I don’t get it; you have numbers for these things! Just plug your numbers into your computer or a register and give me the damn display! I know you sell them and I want this display right now!”

(I’m emotionally exhausted by this point, and although I always want to talk to childish customers as if they are actual children, professionalism usually prevents me from stooping to such a level. I decided we were past formality. However, I remained polite.)

Me: “Ma’am, suppose you have… a chair at home that you really like. One day the leg of the chair breaks, so you go down to the furniture store and find another chair.”

Customer: *with an exasperated huff* “What does this have to do with anything?”

Me: “Just follow me; the leg of your chair is broken, so you go to the store and find a new chair. Now, instead of deciding to buy the new chair, you ask an associate to break off the leg you need and sell you that leg, and only the leg… How do you think that would go?”

(A few moments of silence follow as her cheeks grow red from embarrassment. When she speaks next she bears a much calmer tone.)

Customer: “I think I’d like to speak to a manager, please.”

(Within a minute I was setting the display frother back on its shelf, still unsold.)

Stealing Himself Away

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior

(My boss is notorious for not doing daily tasks, but sitting in the front so that people know that we’re open. An elderly gentleman comes in while I’m in the back cleaning.)

Boss: “Hello!”

(The customer doesn’t say anything, but I put my tools down, and briskly walk just outside the doorway into the back so I can help the customer if he needs anything.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Well, look at that! You came out fast! You thought I was trying to steal something! I’ll take my business elsewhere!”

Me: *at a loss for words*

Boss: “Please do!”

Should Provide A Better Beeping Service

| PA, USA | Technology

(I work at one location of a nationwide chain. One day I answer the phone and start our greeting, only to hear loud beeping sounds, as though the person on the other end is repeatedly hitting the buttons. I’m about to hang up when I hear the man on the other end saying “hello? hello?”)

Me: “Hi, I’m having some trouble hearing you.”

Man: “Hello?! Hello? Have I reached a person? Is this a person?”

(There’s another beeping noise as he hits a button.)

Me: “Yes, this is the [Location] [Business] store.”

Man: “Computer department.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Man: “Computer department. Uhm. IT department!”

Me: “You’ve reached the store.”

Man: “Ugh, transfer me! Eye Teeeeee!”

Me: “The only IT we have is at corporate, located in [Distant State]. I will get you help, if you can tell me your issue.”

Man: “Your website isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, give me a moment to find their info.”

Man: “You should be the one helping me.”

Me: “I can’t provide tech support for the webpage. I’m just a salesperson.”

Man: “In the yellow pages it listed this as [Business].”

Me: “Yes, the local store, but the website is handled by a different group of people. Okay, there is no direct number I can provide. But, at the bottom of our website is the contact information for the people who handle tech support for the website. There’s a text chat option, or you can email your problem and have them call you back.”

Man: “What good does that do me? I can’t get on your website.”

Me: “You mean you can’t load the website at all?”

Man: “No! And not just you! None of the websites are working today!”

Me: “It sounds like your Internet might not be working. You should probably start by contacting your Internet provider.”

Man: “But it’s your webpage! I want to talk to someone else!”

(He proceeded to push buttons, causing beeping noises on my end, until I finally gave up and hung up.)

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