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App-parently Stupid

| Opelika, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work in a chat center contracted to a large cell phone carrier. My department covers their customer care and sales chats. Currently, there is a special in which iPhones are $99 with a two-year contract. This is an interaction between my coworker who works sales and a customer:)

Customer: “Hi! I was just wondering… How much is the $99 iPhone?”

Coworker: “It’s $99.”

Customer: “Oh, gosh, thank you so much! That is a lot less than what I was expecting!”

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Walk A Mile In Her Shoes And She’ll Still Be Stupid

| MI, USA | Bizarre

(I’m helping a customer pick shoes for his son. I’ve explained our smallest size available is on display. He picks up a shoe.)

Customer: “What size is this one?”

Me: “A size eight.”

Customer: “So… DO you actually have this shoe?”

Me: *five seconds of silence trying to process him asking if we really do have the shoe* “I’ll go get the other half to it…”

(He wasn’t the brightest tool in the shed and kept confusing the rest of the transaction.)

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Hope She Goes Away With The Flow

, | Luton, England, UK | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a shop assistant in quite an expensive high street store. Because of the relatively costly items, customers expect a certain level of customer service. We also wear clothing from the store as our uniform, but with no real way of identifying staff, we usually greet our customers while we’re tidying the shop floor. I am going about my business when a customer walks in. I leave it about 30 seconds before approaching her.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “Hi. I was just looking for some clothes. Is that okay?”

Me: “Of course. What sort of clothing were you after?”

Customer: “Just clothes. Am I in the right place?”

(I realise that she is trying to make some kind of point.)

Customer: “This ‘customer service’ nonsense is ridiculous. ‘Are you all right? Do you need any help?’ It interrupts the flow of shopping. Shopping is an experience, and the shop assistant getting in your face interrupts the flow of shopping.”

Me: “Well, as we wear clothing from the store, staff members can be a little tricky to identify if they aren’t behind the till, so we greet customers so they know who to look out for if they need any help.”

Customer: “’Need help,’ pfft. If I need help I’ll come and find you. You don’t need to ask me if I need help. Do you know that leading psychologists (that’s what I do, I’m trained in psychology) have found that most people hate shopping now because of all this ‘customer service’ so they’d rather shop online? Isn’t that sad? Shopping is an experience and customer service is simply ruining it.”

Me: “We carry out customer surveys on a regular basis and we’ve found that customers actually request this kind of service and many of them shop here not only because of the clothing but also the standard of customer service we uphold, but I’m sure if you wrote a letter to the company they would take your thoughts on board.)

(She carried on for 10 minutes before she stopped ‘interrupting the flow of my working.’)