icon_familykids

My Soul For A Steam-Iron

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Popular

(I’m selling $250 steam irons and working on straight commission. A customer chats with me for 10 minutes, growing progressively more interested in the machine. I need this sale to make quota for the day, so start to hope when he says “I’m going to go find my wife and bring her to see this!” A few minutes after, while I’m scanning the aisles hoping to see him come back – 75% of the time these “Be backs” never return – a three-year-old boy comes up to my booth.)

Little Boy: “I’m lost. Can you help me find my mommy?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(I’m a traveling demonstrator and don’t work for the store, so have no idea policy about lost children, but figure I’ll walk him to the managers. I take him up front, but forget to put out my “Be back in five minutes” sign. After I get him into the hands of the floor manager, I head back to my booth, gone less than five minutes. Shortly, the customer returns.)

Customer: “You just lost a sale! I came back with my wife and you were gone! We weren’t going to wait around for hours for you; she’s gone to check out. Guess you weren’t really interested in a sale!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but a little boy was lost and asked me for help finding his mommy. He was scared and I took him to the manager.”

Customer: “Too bad for you! That’s not your job. You’re here to sell!”

(Customer storms off just as the manager walks by with the little boy, bringing him to the mom who happens to be near my booth and is starting to panic.)

Manager: “This brave little boy knew what to do when he realized he was lost. He went right to a staff member in a badge—” *pointing to me* “—and asked for help. Always go to a person in authority and we’ll take care of you!”

Mother: *looking at me* “Oh, my god! Thank you so much! I’ve worked these kinds of booths; I hope being away didn’t cost you a sale?”

Me: “Not helping would have cost me my soul.”

icon_extrastupid

This Just Isn’t Working

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’ve been helping the customer for about five minutes, and am behind the counter running her credit card to finalize the sale when…)

Customer: “Oh, I just noticed your shirt! Do you work here?”

icon_badbehavior

Can’t Look After Her Own Litter

| Kapellskär, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular

(I work in an outlet store. I am on my tenth hour of my fourteen-hour-long shift. So far the day has mostly been pleasant due to nice customers. However, two teenagers (siblings) have been acting obnoxious, shouting, making a mess, and fighting over a box of candy they can’t seem to figure out how to open. They start tearing the box apart, leaving tape and pieces of paper all over the floor. Their mother approaches and I feel thankful, as she seems like a reasonable person and I think this meant the squabbling and littering will finally stop.)

Mother: “What are you two up to? Oh, what a mess.” *looks at me* “Well, at least you’ll have something to do! That’ll be fun, right?”

Me: *speechless*

Mother: “Oh, well, time to go. Bye!”

(As they exit the store, the mother stepped on the tape and paper; it stuck to her shoe, and she dragged all of the garbage out of the shop with her. I waited a few seconds before I let out a smug, evil laugh.)