First-Born Going The Way Of The Check

| Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I’m helping a family shop at our little store, and they’re now at the cash register. Because the store is small, they’re the only customers.)

Father: *gesturing to his daughter* “By any chance, do you take firstborn children as payment?”

Me: *with the straightest face I can manage* “Well, we used to; that’s how they got me.”

Coworker: *chiming in* “And that’s why we don’t take them anymore.”

Father: *laughing* “That’s all right. She’s the middle kid, anyway!”


Decency On A Diet

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work as a cashier in a very well-known retail store. By the registers we have refrigerators that hold soda, juice, and water. Two women decide to come through my line, and as I am ringing them up, they decide to add two sodas to their order. They’re mother and daughter. I finish their order and am about to move on to the next person. I notice the daughter has already opened her soda and taken a sip. That’s when she notices what type it is.)

Daughter: “Wait, this isn’t diet.”

Mother: “I thought I grabbed one for you.”

(The daughter then proceeded to put the soda she had already opened back into the refrigerator. She grabbed a diet version of the drink and left with her mother before I could react and say something.)


Taxing Can Be Taxing

| WA, USA | Money

(A customer wants to send a money transfer to a friend in another state. Rates are pretty high for sending within the USA and people generally gripe.)

Me: “Would you like to send ‘Money in Minutes’ for [high price] or would you like to do ‘Next Day’ for [slightly lower price]?”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll do ‘Money in Minutes.’ I don’t mind paying the higher price.”

Me: *surprised at the lack of complaining* “Okay, no problem.”

Customer: “Yeah, I used to avoid paying any kind of taxes. I thought they were so stupid.”

Me: *confused as to why he’s suddenly talking about taxes, then realizing he thinks the transfer fee is a government tax* “Well, actually…”

Customer: “Then I realized that if we all actually, like, pay our taxes… then the government has more to, like, give out to us, you know?”

Me: “That is how that works, yes.”


Polluting The Ether

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology


Customer: “We need to get a shorter ethernet cable so we can get faster internet.”


Doesn’t Have Twenty-Twenty Cent Vision

| Bavaria, Germany | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(Here in Bavaria stores are mandated by law to close at 8 pm so it’s usually rather packed from 7:30 until 8 pm. A line of approximately 15 people are waiting at the register. First in line is a woman in her 40s.)

Woman: “I’m sorry. Why is my receipt saying this cucumber is 70 cents?! I’m pretty sure it’s 50 cents.”

Cashier: “Well, if it rings up for 70 cents it usually is. But I can take a look at my price sheet.” *she takes a look in her binder* “No, sorry, 70 cents.”

Woman: “Well, then you must have priced it wrong. The price tag said 50 cents!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. Maybe you looked at the wrong price tag. Happens to the best of us.”

Woman: “NO! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME TO THE AISLE RIGHT NOW! I’m not letting you f*** me over! They cost 50 cents!”

Cashier: “Well, if you insist.”

(The cashier is standing up from her register and walks away with the angry woman. Meanwhile there are over 20 people waiting in line. It only takes 2-3 minutes until the cashier comes back with the woman who appears even more angry.)

Woman: “NO! YOU’RE F****** ME OVER! I’m sure someone heard me complaining and changed the tag! THEY WERE F****** 50 CENTS!” *while waving around with said cucumber, slamming it on the counter*

Cashier: “Well, again, I’m sorry but the tag, the register, and my price sheet are saying 70 cents. Now please pay so I can attend to those other customers.”


(Suddenly, a customer is walking up to the woman and throws 20 cents at the counter. By now the line reached until the back of the store.)

Man: “HERE! Now take your stuff and leave. Let’s hope the IRS will not find out I’m throwing around such huge sums!”

(The woman angrily stormed out, got in her – I wish I was kidding – BMW-SUV, and drove away. The kicker? She left the cucumber behind.)

Page 2/54612345...Last