A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3

| Ocean, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(It’s Friday the 13th. I’m ringing up some college-age students.)

Me: “Your total is $6.66.”

Customer: “Oh, no! And it’s Friday the 13th!”

Me: “No, no. It’s okay! You’re getting rid of the six sixty-six, not accepting it. It’d only be bad luck if you were getting it as change.”

Customer: *looking very relieved* “Okay… That sounds right. But what about you?”

Me: “I’ll be okay. It sounds strange, but 13 is actually a lucky number for me.”

(I ring her up and move on to her friend. By sheer chance, the total is $13.34, and I immediately see where this is going when she hands me a $20 bill.)

Me: “Uh. Your change is… $6.66.”

(She looked very uncomfortable as she took her change, and her friends teased her all the way out the door.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

Coated In Confusion

| TX, USA | Funny Names

(At the department store where I work we have call boxes where customers can request assistance. When the button is pressed, the name of the department where the customer needs help is paged over the PA system.)

Customer: *to coworker* “Excuse me. My wife was just paged to swimwear. What does that mean? Where is that?”

Coworker: *confused* “Um, we don’t have any swimwear right now. The section where it would be has coats right now.”

Customer: “But she was paged to swimwear!”

(My coworker looks at me for help. I’m several feet away and haven’t really been paying attention to the conversation, so I think he is just trying to find swimwear.)

Me: “All our swimwear is on clearance now since we have all our coats in, but we will probably get some in a few weeks.”

Customer: “But they paged my wife to swimwear!”

Me: “Yeah that’s where the coats are—”

Coworker: “What’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “Coats?”

Coworker: “No, what’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “Coats!”

(Suddenly something dawns on me.)

Me: “Wait, did the page say, ‘Misses’ Coats and Swimwear?'”

Customer: “Yeah! Mrs. Coates in swimwear!”

Me: “Oh, that’s just the call box. Someone needed help in that section so it announced it over the PA.”

Customer: “Oh…” *walks away looking confused*

Calculated Customer Service

| USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science

(I have just finished processing a customer’s transaction. Her total comes up to $22 and some change. She gives me a $50 bill. I have already typed in $50 as a cash payment. Once my till opens, she stops me.)

Customer: “Okay, wait. Can I give you $2? I just don’t want to get a bunch of change back. This way, I’ll get $30 back.”

Me: “Okay. Sure.”

(I add in the $2, give her $30 back and then 21 cents, which is what the register tells me I should give her.)

Customer: “Wow! That was really fast! You must be really smart! You calculated that all by yourself!”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t too difficult! I just added the $2, so I ended up giving you $30 back, and then I gave you back 21 cents, which was what the computer screen told me to give you back in the first place.”

Customer: “Wow! Okay!”

(She walks away, takes her purchase with her and leaves the store, amazed at my ‘fast’ calculation.)

Obama And Aliens And Popes, Oh My

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Politics

(I am starting to shut down my food cart. It has a ‘Now Hiring’ sign, which lists the wages. A man in his 40s walks up to take a food sample.)

Customer: “You know, if you lived in North Dakota you could get an easier job at $15/hour.”

Me: “Uh, that’s nice.”

Customer: “But that’ll change when Obama takes over the country. The wages will drop then.”

Me: “… That’s okay. I’m actually planning on moving to Canada in the next couple of years.”

Customer: *suspicious look* “Canada… You know who I’d trust to run my health care?”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “You. But I wouldn’t trust the Government. They’re shady.

Me: “Yeah. The government does seem to hide a lot from us.”

Customer: “It’s all because of Israel and The Vatican, anyway. Have you heard of the Jesuits?”

Me: “… Kind of?”

Customer: “Well, the black pope is running the Vatican from Jerusalem. See, he thinks the Ark of the Covenant is there. That’s why he wants to sit atop it and rule the world from there. He’s the one who’s actually in control of the Vatican, and running the USA.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “That’s why the USA likes Israel so much! It’s all because the Vatican is baptizing aliens.”

Me: “Aliens like… foreigners?”

Customer: “No, aliens! You know… The greys, the lizard people…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Anyway, Obama. His name isn’t even Barack. He grew up in Indonesia, and people called him ‘Barry.'”

Me: “Well, Mitt Romney’s first name is actually Willard, which is worse in my opinion.”

Customer: “Hmm… That’s true…” *gives thoughtful suspicious look, as if he’s now distrustful of Romney*

Me: *coughs*

Customer: “Anyway. North Dakota. Think about it.” *walks off*

Mall Of The Living Dead

| AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Zombies

(Today the store I work in is staying open later than the mall it’s a part of. Its external entrances are open, but there is a large, heavy metal grate over the entrance that connects it to the mall. I see a young girl walk by the entrance with an older female relative, holding her hand.)

Girl: “Oooh!” *moves towards the door*

Older Relative: “No, sweetie. That door is closed. We can’t go into the mall right now.”

Girl: “No, I was just thinking about it.”

Older Relative: “Thinking what, sweetie?”

Girl: “That it’d keep this place really good and protected if the zombies started attacking tonight!”

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