Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 3

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I am a cashier at a dollar store. Lately, we’ve been collecting school supplies for a charity that donates them to military families. As such, we have to ask customers if they would like to purchase an item for this charity.)

Me: “Would you also be interested in purchasing an item for [Charity] today?”

Man: “What is that? Some sort of communist youth organization?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Uhm, no, sir. It donates school supplies to military families with children.”

Man: “Well, same thing right?”

(I stand there for a few seconds, just silently blinking and staring at him.)

Me: “…no, sir. Not even close.”

Related:
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

Getting Chesty

| Wyoming, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Underaged

(I work in a local chain tobacco store. I am in my 40s. A very young looking man comes in my store with a small child.)

Customer: “Can I get a pack of [Brand] cigarettes?”

Me: “Can I see your ID?

Customer: “I left my wallet at home.

Me: “I’m sorry, but the law requires I ask for a valid picture ID. No ID means no sale.”

Customer: *testy* “I have a four-year-old kid! I think that proves I am old enough to buy cigs!”

Me: “Even kids too young to smoke can make a baby.”

Customer: *literally rips his shirt open* “For Christ’s sake I HAVE CHEST HAIR!”

Me: “Yup. You have about a dozen of them. Congrats.”

(The customer takes the child’s hand and storms out, cussing and complaining about me being rude.)

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2

| USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(I’m standing in line at a Black Friday sale, waiting to check out my purchases. We’ve been standing about 45 minutes as the lines are very, VERY long. There is a man all by himself, with no cart and no purchases, standing two customers in front of me. All of a sudden his wife pulls two carts over, with their daughter pushing another one. All three carts are filled completely. They push through the line and get in with him. One of the customers in the line speaks up.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You can’t just cut in line like that. We’ve been waiting an hour. Get to the back!”

Cutting Customer: “F*** you! It’s not my fault you don’t know how to shop. Mind your own f****** business!”

Me: “Excuse me. Would you mind watching your language? I don’t want my son to hear that.”

Cutting Customer: “You can kiss my a**, b****! That little p**** is going to learn it one way or the other. He’s an ugly little SOB with that hair cut, anyway!”

My Son: “I’m growing my hair to donate to kids with cancer, like my best friend!”

(The cutting customer’s daughter decides to speak up.)

Cutting Customer’s Daughter: “Your little f** friend should just die. Why do they give them treatments for that s*** anyway? I hope he dies, you little a**-wipe.”

(My four-year-old son starts crying, asking me if his friend is going to die. I try to calm him down. Meanwhile, my friend gets the manager of the store.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this woman just told me what you said to her son and that you cut in line. I’m going to ask you once to please move to the back of the line; otherwise, you’ll need to leave the store.”

Cutting Customer: “Now, you look here! You can’t make us move. We’re buying more than $1000 worth of stuff here! And that b**** and her snot nosed kid got what they deserved.”

(The manager gets on his walkie-talkie and has security escort them out. Upon the managers and several customers suggestions, we file verbal harassment charges on the customers who cut in. The manager made a donation for $500 to the charity that my son’s friend had out in my son’s name. We cut his hair three months later, donating 18 inches, which they made into a wig. His friend made a full recovery, by the way. They both donate their hair about every five years.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line

There’s A Funny Upside (Down) To This

| Santa Barbara, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a computer retailer. A customer brings in a system he bought about an hour before.)

Customer: “Yeah. I want to return this computer. The CD-drive isn’t working.”

Me: “Not working? How so, sir?”

Customer: “Discs don’t fit inside it.”

(I hook up the machine to a monitor setup we have, open the disc tray, and it reads the CD I put in just fine.)

Customer: “Wait, the computer looks different now!”

Me: “Different? Sir, this is an Apple. They look pretty much the same all the time.”

Customer: “No. The symbol on the side there! It’s upside down.”

Me: “It’s an Apple, a leaf and an apple with a bite out of it.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I… put it on the floor upside down, didn’t I?”

Pola-Roid Rage

| Wasilla, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(I work the returns counter at a retail store. We have a customer that comes in every couple of months and returns several packs of Polaroid film, each worth about $20. She never has a receipt and always has the same excuse that she bought too much for the occasion. We suspect she is stealing them from another store in the area, and returning them at our store. Our loss prevention team doesn’t have enough on her to deny the returns. The electronics department implements a policy that we are not allowed to return Polaroid film without a receipt if it doesn’t have one of our security tags on it. Sure enough, the customer comes back in after this policy is in place. None of the boxes she brings in have our security tags on them.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not able to return these without a receipt.”

Customer: “But I’ve returned these here before. Why can’t I now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They changed our return policy. We are no longer allowed to return this type of film without a receipt if it doesn’t have our security tag on it.”

Customer: “Well, I know I bought it here. I want my money back.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, ma’am. These do not have our security tag on them. I cannot do a return without a receipt. Could you have purchased them from [other store in the area]?”

Customer: “NO! I bought them here. If I can’t return them here I just won’t shop here anymore!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but I have to follow our return policy.”

(The customer walks off with her film, huffing as she goes. After about 10 minutes the customer’s husband storms up to my counter.)

Customer’s Husband: “You calling my wife a thief?!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Customer’s Husband: “My wife was just up here trying to return film. She said you told her she couldn’t return it because it was stolen!”

Me: “No, sir. I explained to her that I couldn’t return the film without a receipt because they don’t have our security tags on them. Then I asked if she might have purchased them from [other store in the area]. I never accused her of stealing.”

Customer’s Husband: *shouting* “I’ve never seen this ‘security tag’ you’re talking about. You’re lying to me!”

(The customer’s husband storms off towards the electronics department, shouting.)

Customer’s Husband: “I’m going to prove you’re a liar. Then I’m gonna kick your a**!”

(I run after him to try to warn the department manager of what’s about to happen. When the husband gets into the department he starts pulling 35mm film packs off the shelf shouting.)

Customer’s Husband: “I don’t see no security tag!”

(He then threw the packages over the shelf. The manager of the department was dodging packs of film as he was trying to get to the customer. I reached him first. I grabbed a Polaroid film pack off the shelf and showed the man the security tag on the back that I had been referring to all along. The man stopped mid-throw and mid-shout, looked at me for a moment and then walked away without saying a word. We never saw either of them again in our store.)

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