That Line Is Dead

| Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I am selling a customer a dryer. For warranty purposes our system logs everyone’s purchases under their names and phone numbers.)

Me: “What’s your phone number, sir?”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

Me: “So, that will be going under [Woman’s Name]?”

Customer: “No. That’s my wife’s name.”

Me: “Is that okay?”

Customer: “Well, she’s dead at the moment so I’m not sure how that would work…”

Love Is A Game

| Fresno, CA, USA | Love/Romance, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am the assistant manager at a local video game/electronics store. A customer comes into the store when it is empty. He is really nice and we are talking about what type of video games and music we enjoy. It was your typical sales conversation and that was all. The next day when it is swamped, my coworker tells me there is a customer on the phone that would like to speak to a manager. I pick it up and professionally introduce myself.)

Customer: “Hey, I am glad it is you that is there. Remember me? I am the guy you talked to yesterday about [Video Game].”

Me: “I am really sorry, sir, but I talk to a lot of people each day. Was there an issue with the game you purchased yesterday?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to call and see if maybe you wanted to go out.”

(I stand there looking at a line to the door and see the customers’ faces start to get upset.)

Me: “I am sorry but I have a line to the door right now and cannot talk about this. Can I put you on hold and get back to you in a few minutes?”

Customer: “You are just going to hang up on me. You are just being a b****. If you didn’t want to go out with me, you shouldn’t have flirted with me.”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry you feel that way but I cannot talk about this right now. I am going to put you on hold and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

(I put the customer on hold and he hung up in a few minutes. The next day my manager let me know that I received a complaint from a customer who was upset that I turned him down for a date and recommended that I be let go for bad customer service!)

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 6

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I’m on the floor helping a customer in our perfume department. She picks up two full sized perfume boxes and heads up to the registers. The line is long, so I follow her up and ring the line down. Finally, she approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, again. Decided to just get the perfumes?”

Customer: “Huh? No. I need to return these.”

Me: *turns the perfume around and point to the soft sensors on the back of the boxes* “Seriously?”

(The customer finally looks at me and I can see the instant she recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh… uh… forget it.” *runs out of the store*

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 5
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return

Some Lines Get Older Every Day

| Canastota, NY, USA | Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working at a gas station and am currently ringing out a guy that appears to be in his 60s. I am 18.)

Customer: *grabbing my hand* “Would you like to get a pop with me?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t drink soda.”

Customer: “How about a coffee?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m too young for you.”

Customer: “Oh, come on. Age is just a number and coffee doesn’t mean anything.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(He still has not given me back my hand yet.)

Customer: “Oh, come on.”

Me: *continuing with the transaction* That’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “So what do you say?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “How about we leave it as a ‘maybe?'”

The Mother Of Bad Pickup Lines

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m cleaning behind the registers alone when a customer comes up to the counter. He looks about 30 and is a little unkempt looking. I’m 18. He’s been staring at me and overall been acting creepy and talking about how he can’t buy more shoes or socks because his mother won’t let him. Finally at the end of the transaction, this happens:)

Customer: “You know… I think you’re very attractive… Would you, maybe.. Like to go out some time?”

Me: “Thank you. That’s very sweet but I’m still in high school.”

Customer: “Oh, what grade?”

Me: “12.”

Customer: “I don’t mind.”

Me: “Maybe another time, but thank you.”

(He then proceeds to ask again and I decline a second time.)

Customer: “So, where do you live?”

Me: “Oh, around here.”

Customer: “Well I live in [retirement apartment complex].”

(I assume this means he lives with his mother. He then proceeds to give me his email address and name on a post it note which I accept because at that point I just wanted him out. He’s been seen in the shopping centre near my store but hasn’t come back yet. Thank god!)

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