Smelling A Sale

| Mobile, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a mall perfume counter. It’s close to Christmas. Many people are running around like crazy. It’s my first Christmas at this job. I’m very nervous about approaching people who look like they’re in a hurry. Two of my coworkers have already been yelled at by some hurrying customers. I see a customer, sort of casually strolling through, and decide to try her.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Would you like a sample of this cologne?”

(The customer gives me a blank look.)

Customer: “What for?”

Me: “For… well, just to smell.”

Customer: “But I’m not a man.”

Me: “Well, no. But maybe you’re looking for a last minute gift for some man in your life?”

Customer: “There is no man in my life! They’re all dead!”

(I am horrified and speechless. The customer bursts into giggles.)

Customer: “Sorry. You all just look so nervous and bored over here. I thought I’d have a bit of fun! That’s [Perfume Name], right? I’ll have four.”

Terminate This Purchase

, , , | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

(I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

Flipped Them The Bird

| AK, USA | Pets & Animals

(We have a regular who always comes in with his pet parrot. As our regular shops, the parrot sits on his shoulder and quietly chatters to himself. Since the bird is very well-behaved and the employees adore him, we allow the customer to do this. It also makes him pretty popular and gets a lot of questions.)

Me: “Oh, good afternoon, [Regular Customer]! Hi, [Bird’s Name]! Is this all today?”

Regular Customer: “Yup. That’s it!”

(While I scan, the customer behind the regular is staring intently at his bird.)

Other Customer: “Excuse me… Is that thing on your shoulder real?”

(Before either of us can answer, the parrot suddenly whirls around and leans into the other customer’s face.)

Parrot: “SQUAAAAAAWK!”

The Screwdriver Is Complimentary

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I work at a hobby store that sells everything from arts and crafts for kids to models and remote control vehicles. A customer and her small son come in and shop around for a bit. They eventually bring up a vacuum for catching bugs.)

Me: “Alright. That will be [price]. This requires three AA batteries. Did you need those?”

Customer: “Yeah. We better get some.”

Me: “Okay. Your new total comes to [price].”

(They pay and leave. Not five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but do you have a screwdriver to open this with?”

(The customer meant one she could buy but we have one behind the counter for this type of situation. I go ahead and just open the battery cover for her on the bug catcher.)

Me: “There we are! You’re good to go.”

(I hand it back to the little boy. They begin to leave when the customer turns around and addresses her son.)

Customer: “Tell the nice lady ‘thank you.'”

Son: *with a look of concentration on his face* “You… are… sooo… beautiful.”

Me: “Why, thank you!”

(The mom is slightly embarrassed but thanks me again. They leave. I turn to my coworker, who watched the whole thing and is smiling)

Me: “I don’t know where he learned those manners from, but he’s gonna do well in life.”

No Paws For Thought, Part 3

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I’m a customer at a big-box superstore. I have an invisible disability. I have just gotten a small service dog to help me with it. We don’t have a ‘service dog’ vest for him yet. He’s currently sitting quietly in the child seat of a grocery cart, well out of reach of any of the store’s products. I’m waiting to check out. A customer right in front of me in line turns to me.)

Customer: “They let you have a dog in here? That’s not allowed.”

Me: “They don’t seem to mind as long as I keep him up and away from food. Plus, he’s a service dog.”

Customer: “You can’t have dogs where’s there’s food. I know; I have a dog. I’d like to bring him with me but I can’t. You can only have service dogs inside.”

Me: “He is a service dog.”

Customer: *to cashier* “Can you believe that some people bring their dogs everywhere? You can only have service dogs inside.”

Me: *louder* “He IS a service dog.”

Customer: *still talking to cashier “People need to learn you can’t just bring your dog anywhere you want. Only service dogs are allowed.”

(I give up and talk to the cashier.)

Me: “He IS a service dog. I have the papers for him and everything.”

(The customer ignores me. She finishes checking out and walks off, still muttering.)

Customer: “Only service dogs are allowed inside.”

Cashier: “What the heck was her problem? Some people need to spend some time living in real society like we do and figure out how things work.”

Older Couple Behind Us In Line: “D*** right!”

(We proceed to finish checking out. We spend five minutes laughing with the older couple behind us and telling jokes about entitled people. Thanks for making our day, grouchy customer!)

Related:
No Paws For Thought, Part 2
No Paws For Thought

Page 193/542First...191192193194195...Last
« Previous
RANDOM
Next »