Marco Polo Isn’t Solo

| USA | Right | June 3, 2016

(It’s a somewhat quiet day in my rather large store, and I’m watching the front end. Suddenly a man comes in, looks at me apologetically, and self-consciously walks up to the desk.)

Man: “I’m about to be really annoying, and I apologize in advance, but we don’t have cell phones at the moment and I’m not sure where my wife is.”

Me: “Oh?”

Man: *suddenly steps back and yells as loud as he can* “MARCO!”

Random Customer: *from somewhere in the back of the store* “POLO!”

Me: “Was that her?”

Man: “No, actually. Strange. Guess she isn’t here. Thanks!”

(I laugh and he leaves, but I suddenly hear another voice from deep within the store.)

Random Customer #2: “MARCO!”

Random Customer #3: “POLO!”

Random Kid: “MARCO!”

Random Customer #4: “POLO!”

My Boss: “MARCO!”

Me: “Why not? POLO!”

(By the time we were done, pretty much everyone in the store was laughing. The guy who unintentionally started it all actually came back in a half-hour or so later with his wife. When they were checking out, I told them the story of what happened and he grinned and yelled ‘Marco!’ which started it all anew!)

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No ID, No Idea, Part 16

| Hampshire, England, UK | Right | June 3, 2016

(We can sell alcohol and cigarettes to those that provide ID but as we often serve regular customers we don’t ask for their ID. The UK legal age to buy alcohol and cigarettes is 18. A regular customer walks in. He looks young but is actually of legal age to purchase said items.)

Customer: “I would like a packet of [Popular Cigarette Brand].”

Me: “Of course.”

(The customer leaves the store. A few minutes later my mum walks in with my sister.)

Mum: “Did you just sell cigarettes to a boy?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s okay. He’s over 18.”

Mum: “Okay, but you should know he just gave them to a girl in a school uniform.”

(I am stunned and a little annoyed but forget about the incident until later, when the customer walks back into the store to buy food.)

Customer: “Hey again, I forgot to pick up some things.”

Me: “No problem. Just to let you know, I can’t stop you from buying cigarettes for yourself, but in the  future I recommend you don’t give them to those that are underage.”

Customer: “I didn’t give my d*** cigarettes to anyone!”

Me: “A customer walked in after you purchased the cigarettes and told me you handed them to a girl in a school uniform.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever.” *pays and walks out*

(A little more time passes, I forget about the incident. I am stocking the shelves when a woman storms up to me.)

Woman: “You refused to sell my son cigarettes! He’s over legal age! We come in this store all the time!”

Me: *realising she’s talking about the earlier incident* “I’m sorry, I think there’s been some kind of miscommunication. I didn’t refuse your son service. I just told him he shouldn’t give his cigarettes to minors.”

Woman: “My son would never do such a thing! You’re a f****** liar!”

Me: “I have a very reliable eyewitness that he did.”

Woman: “Oh, so you have other customers spying on us now then? Who ratted him out?”

Me: “My mum. And to repeat myself: We have a very clear policy that we cannot sell +18 products to those intending to buy for those that are underage. If I sell cigarettes to your son and a police officer sees him give them to someone underage, he could suffer a huge fine and would could lose our license.”

Woman: “I don’t give a d*** about your f****** license.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

(The woman walks out. A few months later, I am working in a different store, but I decide to pop in to the original store to see how the manager is doing.)

Manager: “Hey, did you know that [Customer] got prosecuted?”

Me: “No, why?”

Manager: “They caught him selling cigarettes to minors.”

(Apparently the girl in the uniform was his sister and he’d been buying her cigarettes, which she’d been selling at her local school. Luckily they didn’t trace any of the purchases back to our company!)


Free Falling

| Gloucester, NJ, USA | Right | June 2, 2016

(I work at a store that has a rewards program. This allows customers to accumulate money to help pay for purchases. I am checking out two adult women who have enough to pay for a pair of shoes on their order.)

Woman #1: “So, these shoes will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #1: “They are $9.99. They will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “These will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #2: “These shoes will be free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman #1: They will be free?”

Me: “Yes!”

Talking Eurotrash

| WA, USA | Working | June 2, 2016

(I am a British tourist. I have been to try on some clothes and decide to buy a pair of trousers. I see the cashier has ringed me up for a lot more than the trousers cost.)

Me: “Err, why did you ring me up $25 instead of $16?”

Cashier: “That jacket costs $9 with tax. Take it off and I won’t call my manager.”

Me: “It’s mine. It wasn’t even sold in this country.”

Cashier: “Take it off please, sir, or I will be forced to call my manager.”

Me: “Listen! It is mine! I don’t have the receipt, but if you check the [Website] in Britain, they sell it for £10.”

Cashier: *condescending* “I don’t think so.”

(She pages her manager.)

Manager: *coming up* “What seems to be the problem?”

Cashier: *gesturing to me* “This guy seems to have mistaken me for a gullible idiot; he thinks he can shoplift a jacket from us by pretending he brought it in Britain…” *here, she is smiling and I can tell she’s trying to hide laughter* “…for £10.”

Manager: “Right! Take it off! Now! I’m going to call the police and see what they think when they arrive!”

Me: “No! Please, listen. If you look on [Website]…”

Manager: “Have you got a receipt?”

Me: “No, it’s in Scotland.”

Manager: “You can’t prove it, then. Seriously, just stop playing now. Everyone knows Europe uses the Euro. They haven’t used the pound sterling since 2002. I’m not stupid, you know.”

Me: *angry* “It IS from Britain! They use pounds!”

Manager: “Riiiight.”

(They called the police. Unfortunately, the arresting officer didn’t believe me either and had me detained. I told them to look up the Euro on the Internet, to which the officer looked very embarrassed. I then told them to call up my partner at home, a VERY expensive call, might I add, to find my receipt in the receipt drawer. When she confirmed that I brought the jacket, they released me, but not until I had spent most of the first day of my holiday in a jail cell. Whenever I talk to anyone about Britain now, I say ‘If it’s not part of mainland Europe, it doesn’t have the Euro.’ I know that other European islands do use it, but I didn’t want to take a risk.)

Be Everywhere At Once

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Working | June 2, 2016

(I get into trouble from our line manager for messing up a count. I checked and double checked for the items in question, even asking my supervisor if she knew where they were. She checked and found nothing, but the next day Store Manager said he had found the items and recorded them, which led to me getting into trouble for not doing the work correctly. Neither my supervisor or I could find them afterwards. It’s a few months later.)

Supervisor: “[My Name], remember when you got into trouble for not looking correctly for [item]?”

Me: “Yes, I do. Why?”

Supervisor: “You wouldn’t guess what I found today.”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Supervisor: “Still in the carton, in [completely different department], hidden in a corner, surrounded by other stock. I asked [Store Manager] about it and he suddenly remembered hiding them there when he didn’t have time to put them out just before an inspection.”

Me: “So, in the future, I not only have to look where the items should be, but where they might be and where they shouldn’t be in the first place.”

Supervisor: “Sounds about right.”

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