I’m at the garden center registers, and so far, it’s been a good day. Naturally, we are low on stock of our most popular small flowers — just under $2 each. A woman grabs a cart and proceeds to put SIX TWELVE-PACKS on it, and then she meanders over to me.

Customer: *Quite serious* “Where have all your flowers gone?! Have people been taking them?!”

Me: *Resisting the urge to point out her complicity* “They’re very popular, so people do buy them up quickly, yeah.”

She seemed a little miffed at that but thankfully didn’t take it out on me. When she came back to actually cash out, she had a second cart with three more twelve-packs.

Customer: “I need a new iPhone cover for my new Samsung S10.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “An iPhone cover for my new Samsung?”

Me: “Okay, I just want to clarify. You want…”

Customer: “An iPhone cover for my new Samsung phone.”

Then, I got to teach her about different phone brands.

She left, with no phone cover and a confused look on her face.

I’m shopping at a large retail chain where the employees wear blue shirts. I’m wearing jeans and a blue pullover sweater, and I have a shopping cart. I stop to look at something and a woman approaches me.

Woman: *Demanding* “Take me to find [item]! I can’t find it!”

Me: “I don’t work here, ma’am.”

Woman: “What?! I’m going to tell your manager you’re refusing to help me!”

Me: “Yeah, have fun with that.”

I walk away from her and keep shopping.

A few minutes later, the woman finds me again with a manager in tow. The manager confirms that I’m not an employee.

Woman: “Well, why is she wearing blue?! She shouldn’t be wearing a blue shirt if she doesn’t work here!”

I think for fun I’m gonna wear a red hoodie to Target next.

Me: “If we place the order today, you should have it delivered to you in about a week.”

Customer: “That seems like a long time. Wait… A week? How long is a week?”

My best friend is from, and lives in, Canada. I live in Oregon. We met online and wrote stories back and forth, and we have been best friends ever since. I have gone to Canada to visit her and she has come to Oregon to visit me.

One year, we decided to go on vacation together at Disneyland. We were on day two of seven, in line for a ride, when her cell phone rang. It was her workplace. Since we had a half-hour wait in line, she decided to answer it. I could hear the whole conversation and was holding in my laughter.

Friend: “Hello?”

Work: “Hey, [Friend], we need you to come in and work a couple of shifts. We’re down a few people.”

Friend: “Um… I can’t. I’m on vacation.”

Work: “We know. But we need you to come to cover these shifts.”

Friend: “I’m on vacation… in Disneyland… which is in another country. I told you all about it before I left! Repeatedly!”

Work: “But we need—”

Friend: “I am not paying for another plane ticket to fly me up there — on a four-hour flight — to work a shift for you. I am on vacation. I will come in when my vacation is over.”

Work: “Fine. I guess we’ll try someone else.”

Friend: “You do that.”

She hung up and just stared at me in shock. I burst into laughter. She quit shortly after that because the company refused to give her a pay raise and promotion even though they had her doing stuff someone higher should have been doing.

Two years later, they called her, begging her to come back. She got that promotion and an even bigger pay raise than she had asked for. She is that awesome!