Ordering In All Colors But Only Seeing Red

| South Africa | Crazy Requests

(I am taking a large stationery order for an insurance office over the phone. The call is already into its fifteenth minute:)

Customer: “Do you have any of those things that hold little squares of paper?”

Me: “Desk cubes? Yes, sure we do.”

Customer: “What colour do they come in?”

Me: “Black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

Customer: “Do you have pink?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we only have them in black, dark blue, burgundy, or dark green.”

Customer: “What about a really jazzy bright green?”

Me: “As far as greens go, we only have dark green, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why do they only make them in four colours?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am.”

Customer: “What about yellow, then?”

Me: *head on desk*

(The next item she ordered was paper-clips, and you can bet we had the same conversation about those, too.)

Unharmonious Harmonica

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a musical instrument store. On our counters we have small grab-and-go items, including mini harmonicas that some people purchase as pendants for jewelry but also work as an instrument. I have just rung up Customer #1 and am in the middle of ringing Customer #2 when Customer #1 takes one of the harmonicas and starts blowing through it.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir.Were you planning on purchasing that today?”

Customer #1: “Of course not. I don’t play harmonica.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but now that you have used that one I have to ask you to buy it.”

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. I was just testing it out.”

Me: “I’m sorry but it’s for sanitary reasons. I cannot sell that now that you have used it. These are not a demo product.”

Customer #1: “There’s no sign. Why shouldn’t I try it? I’m not buying that. I don’t need it.”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry, but now that you’ve put your mouth on it I can’t sell it to anyone else. Would you buy something that required you to put your mouth on it knowing someone else had as well?

Customer #1: “I don’t have a problem with that.”

Customer #2: “Well, I do. What if I bought that for my daughter and you had some kind of herpes or something?”

Customer #1: “Whatever. I’m leaving and never coming back to this f****** store again. No one has ever told me before I couldn’t try them.”

(Just before he walked away he threw the harmonica he had tried back in the bowl and shook it so I wouldn’t be able to tell which one he had his mouth on. I then had to damage out the whole lot.)

Not In Good Company

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

(It’s my first week on the job, working in a retail store selling bed linen, table linen etc. I take a phone call.)

Caller: “I was in [different store] and they said you had covers for futons.”

Me: “I’ll just check for you.” *put the phone on hold, and turn to a coworker* “Do we have futon covers?”

Coworker: “No, but sometimes king sized quilt covers fit them.”

Me: *gets back on phone* “No, I’m sorry. We don’t have futon covers but we do have king sized quilt covers that might fit.”

Caller: “No, king quilt covers are too small for my futon and [different store] said that you would have them.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them.”

Me: “They are mistaken. We don’t.”

Caller: “They said you had them.”

Me:  “No, we don’t. The closest thing we have is king sized quilt covers.”

Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them!”

Me: “Maybe you could ring them back.”

Caller: “Why?”

Me: “To ask them exactly where we keep them. They seem to know more about this shop than I do.”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, they’ve told you that we, in a completely different company, have them and you believe them over me, who actually works in the company.”

Caller: “Oh, you don’t have any?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, bye.” *click*

Annoying Customers Are A Sure Thing

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

(We have a customer who always comes in looking for things to buy for wedding presents and then a week or two later would return them. She is a real time waster.)

Customer: “I need this in queen size. It’s for a wedding present.”

Me: “Have you looked on the lower shelf of the table? There might be one there.”

Customer: “You do it. I can’t bend.”

Me: *gets down to check* “No, sorry. There’s none here.”

Customer: *cocking her head sideways, with what she thinks is a cute look* “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’ll double check with someone else.” *to coworker* “Do we have any more of this design in queen?”

Coworker: *in full hearing of the customer* “No, and we can’t get anymore in. They are discontinued.”

Me: *turning to customer* “Sorry, we don’t have any left.”

Customer: *as always, with what she thinks is a cute look on her face, she cocks her head sideways* “Are you sure?”

Me: “You just heard me ask for you and heard the answer. Yes, I am sure.”

(After what seemed ages she finally bought something else and then two weeks later returned it. As usual, the recipient’s bed was the wrong size and she had already bought them something else.)

Counting And Discounting

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

(I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

Kid: “$39.90!”

Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

(The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

Mother: “You can do it!”

(By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

Kid: “$26.93!”

Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

(After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

Page 191/573First...189190191192193...Last