The Game Of Life

| TN, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “Sir, do you know anything about video games?”

Me: “Yeah, I do, but it depends on which games. I haven’t played them all yet.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing video games! You are a young man. Go make a d*** family!”

(I look down at the floor at this point as the customer is scolding me.)

Customer: “Were you just looking at my daughters a**!?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I wouldn’t!”

Customer: “Is she not GOOD enough for you?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m gay…”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be that either!”

The Nineties Called…

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work next to the electronics department. I am in the area when two customers walk up to an electronics associate.)

Customer: “Do you sell any VHS?”

Associate: “No, ma’am. We sell dvd players, though.”

Customer: “What’s DVD?”

(Associate proceeds to explain DVDs, still remaining very professional.)

Customer: “But you don’t have any VHS?! I find that hard to believe! Couldn’t you check the back room in case you have one lying around?”

Associate: “Ma’am, we haven’t sold VHS in years.”

Customer: “So you can’t check?”

Associate: “We don’t carry any VHS products anymore.”

Customer: “UNBELIEVABLE! How do you not carry VHS?! You’re gonna lose customers like that.”

(There is awkward silence. I’m a few feet away trying really hard not to laugh. But it’s not over yet.)

Customer: “What about [Brand Name]s? Do you have portable cassette [Brand Name]s?”

Associate: “We don’t have any cassette products anymore either.”

(The customer is genuinely bewildered at this point. She eventually decides to purchase a dvd player.)

Associate: “… And how will you be paying today?”

(The customer hands over a credit card.)

Associate: “Ma’am, this card is expired. In fact the card expired in the early 2000s.”

Customer: “WHAT?! No wonder you guys are going out of business. Can’t even take my payment!”

They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

| Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

Me: “I guess you could say that.”

Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

(My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

Closed To Reality

| Paris, France | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(We are closed for inventory, and signs are informing the customers of that fact. Despite this, many people have tried to enter the store. Most of them just leave when they realise the door is locked.)

Manager: *to me* “Okay, we’re going to take the shipment for this week. I need you to stand in the doors and tell customers we’re closed.”

(I oblige. As the truck is unloading and some other of the employees are putting the food away in the freezer, a customer approaches. Note that I am wearing the store’s uniform, with a bright apron.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am! I’m sorry but—”

(Without listening, she tries to get around me. I move in front of her to prevent her from getting in, and keep trying to explain the situation to her. Frustrated, she pushes me to the side and I hit the wall. She then rushes inside. The manager sees her and runs after her, trying to stop her.)

Manager: “Ma’am! Ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: *looking around* “Closed? There are employees everywhere and the doors are open!”

Manager: “We’re doing the inventory of the store, which is why the employees are here. However we’re not allowed to sell food as it would mess up our numbers.”

Customer: “Well, you should keep the doors shut, then!”

Manager: “You didn’t let me finish. We’re still taking our usual shipment of food as we’re opening this afternoon. However to prevent customers from getting in, and despite the fact that we already have signs posted everywhere, I asked my employee to stand at the door and warn the customers. Instead, you refused to listen to her and pushed her out of your way.”

Customer: “Well… I didn’t realise you were closed! You really shouldn’t keep the doors open when you’re closed!” *storms off*

Manager: *shaking his head* “How does she expect us to get the food in? Through the window?”

Try Not To Sweat The Sweat Shop

| USA | Bigotry, Comics Single, Extra Stupid

(I am in a fitting room, and I overhear a conversation.)

Customer: “I like this top, and this dress, but it doesn’t quite fit well. Do you guys have another one of the same size in the back?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know for a fact that that top is the last one we have, and that dress is the last one we have in that size.”

Customer: “Oh… That’s okay. I can wait.”

Coworker: “…”

Customer: “…”

Coworker: “Umm… May I ask what you’re waiting for?”

(The customer leans in to whisper loud enough for everyone in the sixteen fitting room area to hear.)

Customer: “I don’t mean to sound racist or nothing like that… but… like… don’t you guys have little Asian kids in the back to make these?”

Coworker: “Umm… I’m sorry, no… We’re not a sweatshop. All our merchandise is legal.”

Customer: “Oh… Okay…”  *leaves*

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