The Oregon Fail, Part 2

| Spokane, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Canada, Geography

(I’m working at a national retail electronics store. We’re required to attempt to collect demographic data in the form of a ZIP code, unless the customer is from another country.)

Me: “That will be [total]. May I have your ZIP code?”

Customer: “I’m from Ontario. ”

Me: “Ontario….?”

Customer: “Oh, my god! You Americans are so ignorant about any other country! You should know it’s in Canada! Honestly!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is an Ontario, Oregon and an Ontario, California in the US that I know of. Since you’re from Canada, I don’t need your information. Have a nice day.”

(The customer’s face turned red, and they left immediately.)

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The Oregon Fail

Fingers Crossed You’ll Find A Solution

| Retail | Providence, RI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(It’s been a long night and our store has given its 15 minute alert for customers to check out before we close the registers. I work in the children’s department and am watching a boy about eight years of age standing at the underwear display looking around nervously and fidgeting.)

Boy’s Mother: *walks over* “What are you doing?”

Boy: *whispers something, causing his mother to go red in the face*

Mother: “Are you SERIOUS? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Do you have any common sense at ALL?!”

(The boy hangs his head as his mother takes a breath. I turn to leave thinking he confessed a wrongdoing to his mom so it wasn’t my business. I’m stopped by a tap on the shoulder.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Mother: “I’m sorry to bug you, but… my son’s finger is stuck in a hole in the display.”

Me: “Really?”

Mother: “Yes, sorry about that.”

Me: *lifting up my walkie talkie* “[Boss]? I have a little boy with his finger stuck in the underwear display… It’s turning purple and I need assistance.

Boss: “Very funny.”

Me: *seriously* “No… really.”

Boss: “Oh, GOD!”

(Half the store and both managers came to help. It took a mixture of butter substitute, hand sanitizer, and neosporin to save the finger!)

Bring (From) Home The Bacon

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I’m chatting with a customer as her husband tries on some jeans.)

Me: “Oh, wow, what is that amazing smell?”

Customer: “I just baked a bunch of bacon cookies before we came here.”

Me: “Those sound so good. Oh, look, here he comes. Do they fit okay?”

(Her husband was really picky about the jeans, but after about an hour I found a few pairs they both liked.)

Customer: “How long are you working today?”

Me: “My shift’s up, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

(The next day…)

Customer: “Hi, remember me?”

Me: “Sure do. Was everything okay with the jeans?”

Customer: “They’re awesome. I just wanted to give you these.”

(She hands me a gallon zip lock bag crammed full of bacon cookies. I’m speechless.)

Customer: “Thank you so much for all your help yesterday.”

(They were the best cookies ever. Thank you, wherever you are!)

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VOTES

Cross Them Off Your Shopping List

| Hayward, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion, Wild & Unruly

(My partner and I have a stall in a vintage clothing collective. On the day in question, I am working the counter when a woman comes in wanting to sell some clothes.)

Customer: “I want to sell these.”

Me: “Okay, let me see what you’ve got.”

(As I am looking over the clothes, which are mostly from chain stores in the past 10 years, she notices I am wearing a vintage pewter cross.)

Customer: “Hey! Why are you wearing that cross?!”

Me: “Um, I like it?”

Customer: “Hah! Just as I thought! You’re a disgrace! Wearing a cross as a piece of jewelry!”

Partner: *coming out of the back room* “Technically, it IS a piece of jewelry! And she has every right to wear it.”

Customer: “Hah! I seriously doubt that! So tell me, are you a Christian?”

Me: “If you’re asking that question, I’m probably not what YOU would consider a Christian.”

Customer: “I thought as much! You take that cross off right now, you little heathen!”

Partner: *becoming very irritated* “Actually, ma’am, we have both attended many churches, including Methodist, Episcopal, and Old Catholic.”

Me: “I’m currently Religious Scientist.”

Customer: “I thought as much! Heathens! You aren’t entitled to wear that cross!”

Me: “I’m as much entitled as you, Ma’am.”

Partner: “So, if you’re not buying anything, please leave the store and stop harassing us.”

Customer: “I’m not buying, I’m selling!”

Partner: “Oh, no, you’re not.”

Me: “You don’t have any REAL vintage, anyway.”

Customer: “Well, I never! You girls don’t know how to run a business! I wouldn’t want to sell to a couple of heathens, anyway!”

(She gathered up her clothes and exited the store in a huff. Thankfully, she never entered our heathen store again.)

An Alarming Lack Of Responsibility

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid

(My coworker and I are closing up the store. The store is closed the next day, so we were admittedly a little eager to get home to start relaxing. I accidentally leave the front door unlocked in my rush to get home. We have several signs saying we are closed on Sunday. Apparently at around noon on Sunday, a customer gets into the store, starts browsing, and ends up setting the alarms off and running out. A few days later, the same coworker and I are working when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hello! Do you need help finding anything today?”

Customer: “Not really, but I was the one who set off those alarms and never got to get the treats I came in for!”

Me: “Well, we were closed, sir.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?!”

Me: “Sir, did you not notice the signs on the door, the hours posted, the fact that the lights were off, and that the store was completely empty?”

Customer: “No! It shouldn’t be my responsibility to keep track of your hours! It’s your responsibility to tell me when you’re open or not!”

Coworker: “Sir, that’s what the signs are for. We can’t be here all the time to let people know we’re open.”

Customer: “Well, you should be!”

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