The Sound Of Silence

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes into my shoe store and requests several pairs to try on. He tries the first pair and walks around.)

Customer: “No, no. I don’t like shoes that make noise. I need quiet shoes.”

(I give him a new pair to try.)

Customer: “No, I said QUIET shoes! QUIET!”

Me: “Sir, what noise are you referring to? I’m not hearing it.”

(He walks around more.)

Customer: “That! You don’t hear that?”

(All I can hear is the sound of his footsteps.)

Me: “Can’t say I do.”

(He begins stomping his foot on the floor.)

Customer: “Listen to how loud those are!”

Me: “That’s just your foot stomping.”

Customer: “It’s the shoe!”

Me: “So you want a shoe that won’t even make the sound of a footstep?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “… Good luck?”

Not Been Teenage For An Age

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m older than I look, and married. I also have my nose pierced and a couple of tattoos that show if I’m wearing a t-shirt.)

Older Male Customer: “Do you have a boyfriend, young lady?”

Me: “No, I’m—”

Customer: “No wonder with all that nonsense on your arms and that hoop in your face. How do you ever expect to get a boyfriend looking like that?”

Me: “Well, my husband doesn’t seem to mind them.”

Customer: “Married?! You’re only a teenager.”

Me: “Sir, I’m 25…”

Customer: *blushes and turns away, fuming*

Charity Begins At Home Furnishing

, | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(As a charity shop, all items are donated to us. The staff are volunteers and so do not receive wages. The money made from sales goes to our cause; in this case, the care of the elderly in a local home. I approach a customer that has been looking at a sofa for some time.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “This sofa, isn’t it a bit expensive?”

(Customers sometimes try to haggle or cheat us, so I’m not surprised so far.)

Me: “Well, even though the sofa has no signs of wear and looks to be new, it has been heavily discounted. It would be triple the price from any other shop.”

Customer: “Yeah, but this is a charity shop.”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “So I don’t see why you can’t just give it away.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I rent out property, you see. I get more if the places are furnished, but if I have to buy the furniture…”

Me: “We can’t just give things away. We raise money for the charity, which cares for elderly people.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you get this stuff for free.”

Me: “… “

A Customer By Reef-erral

| Ashford, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Funny Names

(I’m stacking the shelves when a sweet little old lady approaches.)

Little Old Lady: “Excuse me. Do you know where I can find some cannabis?”

Me: “Um?”

Little Old Lady: “Some cannabis? Do you have any?”

Me: “I don’t think we do…”

Little Old Lady: “Oh, such a shame. My friend bought some from here before Christmas and they were gorgeous, especially the fish ones.”

Me: “Oh, canapés! Yes, we have those. They’re over here.”

(I show her where they are.)

Me: “Sorry, madam. I thought you said ‘cannabis!'”

Little Old Lady: *laughs* “Oh, I don’t need that anymore!”

Well That Throws A Spanner In The Wax

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I work customer service for a retail store. We sell individual candles and you can grab them by a box. However, the box’s bar code is only for one candle not for four.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these items.”

(She pulls out a candle box with four candles and hands me her receipt. I begin to look it over.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’re returning all four candles?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Well it looks like you were originally only charged for one candle.”

Customer: “It could be on a different receipt.”

(I find this odd since if she grabbed the box then she probably bought the four candles together.)

Me: “I can try looking it up by the credit card you used.”

(She hands me the credit card over and I run it through and find that she had only been charged for one candle.)

Me: “Well, you really were charged for only one candle.”

Customer: “Oh! I’ll just keep these then.”

Me: “Ma’am, now that I know that you didn’t pay for the other three, if you leave the store you would be stealing them.”

(She ended up returning the one she wanted, too, and had to pay for the three candles she didn’t originally pay for!)

Page 188/558First...186187188189190...Last