Committing Battery With Battery

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work in an appliance parts store. In order to complete a transaction, we must fill out the name and phone number fields on the invoice. There is no way to continue if they are left blank. A man comes in and places a small pack of batteries on the counter.)

Me: “Is that all you need, sir?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: *starts typing* “Okay, the price is [price] plus tax. Can I get your name?”

Customer: “You don’t need that! I’m just getting batteries!”

Me: “Actually, sir, I have to—”

Customer: *THROWS the pack of batteries at me* “Keep your d*** part! You don’t need to know my name!”

Me: *catches the pack* “Sir, you don’t have to give me YOUR name. I just have to fill in a name or I can’t complete the transaction.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, fine…” *obviously making something up* “Sam Jones! This is ridiculous. Why do you people always want all kinds of information?”

Me: “I suppose it would be pointless for me to ask you for a phone number, right?”

Customer: *SIGH*

Me: “It’s fine, I’ll use our store number.”

Customer: “What do you people need all that for?! Its bull—”

Me: “The number is so that we can look up your invoice if there is a problem with your purchase.”

Customer: “I don’t need that! It’s just batteries!” *continues to grumble as I finish the transaction*

Me: “Okay, your total with tax is [total].”

Customer: *calmed down some* “Okay. Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all ugly. It’s just I don’t like giving out all sorts of private information. I apologize.”

Me: “Thank you. I didn’t think you really needed to throw the batteries at me.”

Customer: “Oh, of course not. I’m so sorry.”

(He pays me and I give him his receipt.)

Customer: “You have a nice day now. And you know, that information stuff should really be optional. Most people aren’t ever gonna need you to pull up their invoice.”

Me: “Honestly, sir, most people really don’t have a problem with telling me their name.”

(He sputtered a bit, turned and left in a huff. I would have hated to have seen his reaction if he had paid with a credit card and I asked for his ID!)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15

| Leeds, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am 17 and have finished my shift at a supermarket, and go straight to a consumer electronics shop. I am still wearing my work uniform, which is similar in colour to the shop that I am in. A customer comes up to me, obviously angry, carrying a bag with a laptop in it.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I bought this laptop last week and it has stopped working already. This is disgraceful for a £500 piece of—”

Me: “Sorry, mate, I don’t actually—”

Customer: “Don’t you interrupt me, and I am certainly not your mate. I paid £500 for this and it won’t even turn on now. I want you to fix it right now or—”

Me: “Woah, woah, woah! I don’t actually work—”

Customer: “Listen to me! Fix this now or give me my money back!”

Me: “But you need to speak to someone who actually works at—”

Customer: “Don’t fob me off with this s***. You work here. You sort it out. I’m not going to be passed from one member of staff to the other. This is typical of this company. Employing young, inexperienced idiots who don’t give two f***s!”

Me: “Okay, sir. What I suggest you need to do is get your laptop. Open it up, turn it on, and wait for Windows to load up. Once it has loaded up, we’ll put the recovery disc in. Then, I want you to take your laptop, and stick it up your a**, you ignorant c***.”

Customer: *inaudible explosion of expletives and demands to speak to the manager*

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 13
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

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Praying For That Lightbulb Moment

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a retail store that generally closes before all the other ones around us. At this moment we have just a few minutes before close and I am back in my department, which is empty, when a customer whom I watched enter just 30 seconds before comes up to me.)

Me: “How can I help you tonight?”

Customer: “I need a lightbulb.”

Me: “Well, that would be in our light—”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I NEED a LIGHTBULB!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have lightbulbs in this department. But if you’ll let me direct you to—”

Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me. Where are the d*** lightbulbs, kid?!”

(The announcer goes off, saying we are now closed, and I’m trying to be as polite as possible.)

Customer: “F****** people are f****** closed now! You people need to get your s*** together before you f****** close on a paying customer! I’m never coming back here!”

(I tell my coworker about the lady that night. He finds me during my shift the next day.)

Coworker: “Hey, did that lady happen to have [color] hair and a [color] purse with her?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Coworker: “She came back this morning. Apparently she knew exactly where they were. And she was very disappointed to discover they weren’t by the gummy worms.”

Charged With Time-Wasting And Battery

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I work at a battery store, and one of the most popular items we have are reconditioned car batteries. I’m gladly closing up the store. I have my arm in a sling since I had dislocated my shoulder a few days before. Some customers roll up:)

Customer: “We want a reconditioned battery.”

(By the boss’s instruction, I was to keep the shop open and take care of customers when they came in. So, I get them rung up.)

Customer: “And we want you to install it.”

(This is a problem, because it is a Dodge Stratus, which means you have to take the wheel off the car to get to the battery.)

Me: “Okay, but the surcharge will be [total].”

Customer: “What! That is ridiculous. I won’t pay that much!”

Me: “Then I can’t do it.”

Customer: “Fine! But hurry up!”

Me: “It will take a little longer because my arm is in a sling.”

(After more arguing, I finally got started installing the battery. They all walked down the street to a convenience store. An hour and a half after closing, I got the job done, while they stood there and complained that I had taken so long.)

Closing Time Is A Vicious Cycle Accident

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a popular home-improvement store. At two minutes to closing time a man comes dashing through the door. This happens regularly, so I think nothing of it.)

Me: *joking* “Better run!”

Customer: *with a huge grin on his face* “Yeah, I crashed my bike getting here!”

(As he runs past me, I see that he’s bleeding in several places on his side and arm, but I have no time to say anything before he’s off down an aisle. A couple minutes later, he comes back with a large box of nails cradled in the crook of his arm.)

Me: “Woah, hold on. Are you okay? Let me get you some bandages—”

Customer: *still grinning* “Nah, I’m fine. I think I dislocated my shoulder, though. Does it look bad?”

(I look, and sure enough, the joint is popped out of its socket. He heads over to the checkout counter, grinning the whole time.)

Me: “It looks terrible! Oh, my god. You need medical attention. Do you want me to call you an ambulance?”

Customer: “Nope, don’t call an ambulance.”

Me: “Are you sure? That looks like it really hurts!”

Customer: *cheerfully* “It really hurts!”

Me: “You’re bleeding and your shoulder is dislocated! You need to go to a doctor or something at least!”

Customer: “Yeah, or something. See ya!”

(He grabbed his stuff and dashed out the door. It was the end of my shift, so my supervisor made me go clock out in spite of my begging her to let me stay to make sure he was all right. When I got back, he was gone. I can only hope the crazy dude got himself to a hospital.)

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