You’re Like Crazy Beautiful!

| Wichita, KS, USA | Right | October 30, 2015

(I work in an adult-themed store and it is my very first day after training. I am doing some cleaning after opening the store and my very first customer of the day comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m looking for something fun for my girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay, well, we have a huge selection.”

Customer: *as I’m explaining a toy to him, he interrupts me* “How can you work here and not want to f*** all the time? Oh, hey, do you, haha, test out all the stuff here during downtime?”

Me: “Um. No. No.”

(A while later, I’m ringing him up, thanking him, etc.)

Customer: “I wanna buy you a vibrator. Can I buy you a vibrator?”

Me: “No. I’m married.”

(He leaves without incident, but a few hours later, he comes back, hands me a note, and leaves in a hurry. It said “My name’s [Name] and I think you’re really pretty. You should call or text me.”)

Me: *to myself* “Gee, I thought this guy had a GIRLFRIEND!”

(Over two months later during the Valentine’s Day rush, he comes back. He bought some stuff and left, but then came back a few hours later with his girlfriend!)

Customer: “See, I told you she was pretty!”

Me: “Um, thank you?”

Girlfriend: “Oh, my god, yes; are you married?”

Me: “Yes, I am. I’ve been married for a few years.”

(The girlfriend picks out a wig, which disturbingly is the only one in the store that’s the same color as my hair…)

Girlfriend: *turning to the woman behind her in the checkout line* “OMG, you’re gorgeous! Honey, just look at how beautiful this woman is!”

(At this point, she starts telling everyone else in the store to look at how beautiful this woman is, so I ring her up as quickly as possible and say goodbye. The woman behind them steps up.)

Woman: “The h*** was that?!”

Me: “I don’t even know. They’re crazy; I’m so sorry about that!”

Woman: “No, it’s okay, I just… I’m so confused! At least it was something nice she pointed out.”

(The insane couple insisted they were there all the time… I haven’t seen them since.)

Black Friday Can Make You Throw In The Towel

| WI, USA | Working | October 30, 2015

(I am working in the back of the store on a Black Friday.)

Manager: *running to the back of the store* “[My Name]! I need a blanket! NOW!”

Me: “What kind of blanket? Any color or brand preferences?”


Me: *alarmed* “I have a towel, will this work?”

Manager: “YES! FINALLY!” *he grabs the towel and starts running to the front of the store*

(It turned out one of our shoppers was mentally unstable. She randomly took off her clothes and started dancing on the counters next to the cash register. No wonder my manager was mad at me! Needless to say, we gave the towel to the woman as a gift!)

A Dishonest Arrival

| New Zealand | Friendly | October 30, 2015

(I needed to drop of some items at a friend’s business. I was going to leave them outside, under cover if she wasn’t there, as it was after closing. I notice her car and several others parked outside, so I ring to say I am there. My friend comes to the door.)

Friend #1:“Oh, it’s you. Is everything okay?”

Me: “Yes, I was leaving items for [Other Friend].”

Friend #1: “Come upstairs. We are all up there.”

(I go up and join in what everyone is doing. I am there about five minutes when another friend comes up to me.)

Friend #2: “[My Name], I need to apologise to you. I didn’t realise I was ignoring you.”

Me: “What do you mean? I only just got here and you were busy.”

Friend #2: “You haven’t been here all evening?’

Friend #1: “No, I just let her in. She’s only just arrived.”

Friend #2: “I am going to kill [Husband]! When I asked him how long you had been here for, he told me that you had been sitting on the lounge next to me all evening and that I had been rudely ignoring you!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 17

| NY, USA | Right | October 29, 2015

(I’m on line at Customer Service after work because, like an idiot, I forgot to take out my $3 off coupon at the register. In order to get an extra discount, either from an employee card or coupon, you have to return and re-buy the item so the system knows where the money is going and why. A man two people ahead of me is trying to get money back on a shirt that recently went on clearance. I’m a little late in the conversation so he’s already throwing a fit.)

Customer #1: “I want a manager. This is ridiculous that I have to return an item just to buy it back. Just for $2. Why can’t you just give me the two bucks?”

(The customer service representative isn’t even answering back at this point.)

Customer #1: “Are you going to get me the manager or not?”

(The customer service representative quietly leaves, not really giving the impression that he’s going to find someone. Wrong move, but then again, the manager would just be saying the same thing.)

Customer #1: *turns to the lady in front of me* “He’s not getting anyone is he? These stupid people.”

Customer #2: “I know.”

Customer #1: “Why the h*** would I return an item just to buy it back? Is it really too difficult just to give me the two dollars back? Jesus.”

Customer #2: “I know. I agree.”

(Customer #1 decides to just return the shirt because he doesn’t want to bother re-buying it and walks off in a bad mood. I finally get to the register after 10 minutes with the same cashier as he was with.)

Me: *I have my receipt and coupon out and take out the two items from the bag* “I forgot to use my coupon at the register for these vitamins.”

Cashier: “Sure.” *checks the receipt* “And I’ll need your discount card.”

Me: “Okay.”

(She scans the receipt and the items. I sign the return receipt. Then she scans the items again with the coupon and employee discount card and gives me the $3 difference. The whole exchange takes maybe under one minute.)

Me: “How the h*** was this too difficult?”

Refunder Blunder, Part 16
Refunder Blunder, Part 15
Refunder Blunder, Part 14

There Should Be A Sign

, | Watson Lake, YK, Canada | Right | October 29, 2015

(I work at a little retail store beside our town’s main tourist attraction, the Signpost Forest, which has over 75,000 signs to date, right beside the Alaska Highway. A customer walks into the shop.)

Customer: “Where do I go to see the Signpost Forest?”

Me: “See right behind the shop, the hundreds of posts with the countless signs all over them?”

Customer: “Yah?”

Me: “See how they look like a forest?”

Customer: “Yah?”

Me: “That’s it.”

Customer: “…Are you sure?”

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