Deaf To Reason, Part 2

, | Darwin, NT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Pets & Animals

(I am at a supermarket checkout.)

Me: “Hey, there! How are you this eveni—”

Customer: “You realise there’s a man in here with a dog, right?”

Me: “Oh? Maybe it’s a guide dog or something?”

Customer: “No, no! It doesn’t have the guide dog harness! Really! The beast is sticking its nose in the fresh bread!”

(She proceeds to point over my shoulder, and I decide to look. To my amusement, it is a man who had come to my primary school when I was younger, to teach us about dogs that help people with hearing issues.)

Me: “Actually, I know that guy. The dog is actually there to help him because of his hearing being—”

Customer: “I don’t CARE what the dog is there for! It’s not a guide dog and needs to be removed! If you’re not going to help, call your manager, please!”

(Exasperated and a bit peeved at the customer’s behaviour, I grudgingly do so while she defiantly hold up the line.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “That MAN over there has brought some flea-ridden dog in here while he’s shopping! Get him out of here at once!”

Me: “I tried to explain to her it’s a hearing aid dog, but she’s not listening.”

Customer: “I was listening you little cretin! Hearing aid dogs don’t—”

Manager: “Actually they do, and this man is well known for coming through with his dog to help with his shopping. The kids love him, we love him, and you just appear to want to deny that for sake of argument.”

Customer: “How DARE you! I’m a paying customer!”

(By this point my manager asked her to pay her due and leave. She does… only to come back in and flat out abuse the guy for making HER look like a fool. Cops had to be called for her to be removed.)

Deaf To Reason

The Rotten Eggs Aren’t The Only Rotten Eggs

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a big chain retail store that also has a grocery section. On this day, my store has a power outage that lasts several hours. There’s a generator that keeps lights, necessary systems, and two registers going, but it’s not strong enough to power the refrigerated/frozen section. We block off those aisles and announce over the PA that we will not be able to sell any cold foods. I see a customer ducking the cordon and opening a refrigerator door.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Because of the power outage, these aisles are closed. We can’t guarantee the cold food is safe to eat anymore.”

Customer: “Yeah, I heard, but I just need some eggs.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t sell those. There’s a [Grocery Store] across the street if you need.”

Customer: “Why would I go there? I’ve already got these. Hey, what the h***? These eggs are all warm!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, because of the power outage. The refrigerators haven’t been working, so all the cold food has thawed. We can’t sell it.”

(The customer drops the egg carton on the floor.)

Customer: “Then why the h*** are they still on the shelf? What kind of sick store would try to sell bad food to people?”

Me: “…that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, ma’am. We CAN’T sell it. That’s why these aisles are blocked with the ropes and signs saying ‘Do Not Enter.'”

Customer: “That’s it. I’ve had enough of your stupid policies! I’m taking my business to [grocery store across the street]!”

Off-Color Customers

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes up to me with several bathmats. I am the only staff member in a large store; my coworker is at lunch.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer #1: “I need to know which of these you think will suit my bathroom.”

Me: “I have no idea what your bathroom looks like.”

Customer #1: “Well, it has…” *mutters off strange colour combination I don’t quite understand* “…and black on the floor. Which one suits my bathroom?”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes. Finally I have had enough.)

Me: *pointing to one* “That one will suit.”

Customer #1: “Are you sure? I need one for toilet, one for wash hands and one for…” *struggles to find word*

Me: “Bathtub?”

(I go and get him another set, but he is upset that there will be two contour mats for the toilet.)

Me: “You will need to wash that one more often, so two would be good.”

Customer #1: “I look for more. You come.”

Me: “No, you look. I am the only one in the store at the moment and there is another customer waiting.”

(I turn to the other customer, vainly hoping for an easy sale.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer #2: “I need jersey fabric. Can you show me where it is?”

Me: “Okay. I can show you quickly. I do need to back to the counter as I am the only one on the floor right now.”

(I take her to the jersey fabrics and point them out to her.)

Customer #2: “I need five colours.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll just leave you to choose them. Bring them to the counter when you are ready.”

Customer #2: “I need your help choosing them.”

Me: “Sorry. I really need to be back at the counter, as I’ve already explained.”

Customer #2: “How long until someone comes back and you can do it?”

Me: “20 minutes.”

Customer #2: “I’ll come back.”

(I go back to the counter to find that Customer #1 is back there.)

Customer #1: *with other bathmats* “Will these suit my bathroom?”

(I eventually sell Customer #1 the two sets of mats in the colour I chose. After 20 minutes, my coworker has come back and Customer #2 comes back in.)

Customer #2: *haughtily* “Can you serve me now?”

Me: “Yes, I can. Sorry about before. That customer was really doing my head in. Do you need help finding colours?”

Customer #2: “No. I know exactly what colours I need.”

(All Customer #2 wanted me for was to hold up fabric while she ‘ummed’ and ‘ahhed’ over the colour, as well as carry the very light rolls to the counter!)

Acting Like They Were Born In A Bearn

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, History, Language & Words

(I work at a renaissance festival, where the workers are required to be in character when interacting with patrons. Two women are looking around the shop while their two boys, about seven or so, are horsing around with wooden swords. Sometimes I play along with the kids, but they’re getting out of control.)

Little Boy #1: “DIE! I’m gonna get you! I’m gonna kill you!”

Little Boy #2: “Not if I kill you first! RAAAAAAAAAAH!”

(The moms look a little resigned to all this and don’t say anything, but now the boys are starting to trip and hit each other so I step in and yell to be heard over them.)

Me: “Squires! Please take the arts of war outside my shop. We are a peaceful establishment!”

(They stop dead and look at me, dumbfounded. Then they hastily scoot outside and begin whacking each other again.)

Mom: “Wow, can you follow us around all day? They haven’t listened to us once!”

Smelly Cat Lady, Smelly Cat Lady, What Are They Feeding You

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Health & Body

(It is a Tuesday late night, which everyone dreads, because of the infamous ‘Cat Lady’. She is a very lovely, quiet, but friendly lady but has one of the least pleasant aromas that I have ever experienced.)

Manager: *to Cat Lady* “Ma’am, I am just about to close. Please, can you go down to [My Name]’s checkout.”

(Cat Lady nods and smiles, and goes down my checkout. She places her few items on the conveyer belt and I can already start to smell her as she comes up to me.)

Me: *under my breath* “Oh my god, [Manager]. I can’t believe you did that!”

Manager: “Just wait, okay?”

(Cat Lady is about to reach me. Just as she does, my manager grabs a pot of fresh basil that had been left earlier that day and thrusts it into my face.)

Manager: “[My Name], smell this basil! It’s such a nice smell!

Cat Lady: “Wow, it’s so nice that you all appreciate the produce here!”

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