I overhear a lady in the home improvement section of [Big Box Store] talking to two of the workers there.

Customer: “Could I just buy black paint and paint my light bulbs instead of buying a black light?”

This story would be bad enough with just that, but what made it worse is what the two workers said.

Worker #1: “You know, I don’t know.”

Worker #2: “Me, neither. Maybe give it a go and let us know what happens?”

I had to walk away, scared for humanity.

I work at a health food store. A customer walks in.

Customer: “I have taken all your products, and nothing works. I want a pill that I can take once a day, smaller than an Advil, for losing weight. I want to be able to eat anything I want and not exercise and still lose at least ten pounds by the end of the month. I don’t want anything else, and if you don’t have this, I am going elsewhere.”

Me: “If you find that pill, you should market it because you’ll be a billionaire.”

Customer: “You’re going to let me go elsewhere?”

Me: “I don’t know where ‘elsewhere’ is, but it sounds like a magical place. Let me know when you find it!”

They stormed out without the magic diet pills.

I had a guest try to use a five-dollar-off coupon for a four-dollar item.

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon won’t work since your total is less than the coupon amount.”

Customer: “Then just give me the change!”

Me: “Coupons don’t work like that, ma’am, so I’m afraid you’ll have to spend another dollar.”

Customer: “Well, they did it at [Other Chain Location]! I used to work here, so I know you can!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our registers won’t accept the coupon.”

I had to get my shift lead and have her tell the guest the same thing. The guest ended up muttering and getting all huffy, putting the coupon back, and then handing me a ten-dollar bill.

A customer had seen an old ad for the sale of some electronic device you could control with your phone, and she tried to get it for that price at our store. The manager refused.

The customer contacted corporate about it, and they emailed us in response.

Corporate: “Just let the customer have [item] for [old sale price] — but just for this instance, and only for one item.”

The customer came back for the item and we did as we were told, even though it meant a loss for us.

Then, the customer came back again a couple of days later trying to buy more for the same sale price, because corporate had said it was okay. It wasn’t the first or the last time she had tried getting things cheaper, but it was the first time she had contacted corporate.

When they closed the store down and she came in asking why, it felt good to say that it was because of idiots like her. (That wasn’t the entire reason, but I just couldn’t help myself.)

I worked in retail, and at my particular store, our return policy was that you had to have either a receipt or the price tag with the item.

This woman came in one time and made a purchase, and I handed her her bags.

Customer: “Can I have another plastic bag, please?”

Me: “Sure.”

I didn’t think anything of it and handed her one. She proceeded to dump the entirety of the contents of her purse into the bag. Then, she handed me her now-empty purse.

Customer: “I want to return this.”

It was scratched and torn in places and had obviously been used for a few weeks at the very least but more likely a few months. Shocked as I was, I still kept my cool.

Me: “Do you have your receipt or the price tag for it?”

Customer: “Of course not! Just return it! They’ve done it for me at the other store before. I know you can do it!”

Me: “Um… without a receipt or a price tag, we have no way of even knowing if you purchased it here, much less of knowing the price. I’m sorry, but our policy is that I can’t return it without one of those two.”

She stormed away, looking very silly with an empty purse and all of her purse contents in a shopping bag.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 63
Refunder Blunder, Part 62
Refunder Blunder, Part 61
Refunder Blunder, Part 60
Refunder Blunder, Part 59