Wants No Souvenir Of Your Time Together

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Right | February 18, 2016

(I work in a very large tourist souvenir shop. It’s a slow day and while my three coworkers watch the empty shop I’m at the top of a ladder, arms full of merchandise, when I feel a tap on my leg.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Can you help me?”

Me: *a bit annoyed that she chose the only busy employee, but cheerful anyway* “Of course, ma’am. Just give me a moment to put everything down and climb down from this ladder.”

Customer: *without waiting* “I need a souvenir.”

Me: “Well, you’ve come to the right place. That’s all we sell! Do you have anything in particular in mind?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, I can help you find something to fit your needs. Is it for yourself or someone else?”

Customer: “I need souvenir.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that. Is it for a child or an adult?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want something decorative or something you can use every day?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, let’s start with a price point and narrow it down from there. How much would you like to spend?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have nearly one thousand items in this shop, ranging in price from 50p to hundreds of pounds. Can you give me any parameters or interests that would help me to point you in the right direction?”

Customer: “I need a souvenir.”

Me: *internal facepalm* “How about I just show you our most popular items? Over here we have keychains, coasters, and mugs with [Iconic Image] on them. If you want something made locally we have really lovely handmade scarves and soaps which make excellent presents. If that’s too pricey or you need something easy to pack, the wall to your left has over 200 postcards for you to choose from. We also sell matting at the far end of the shop if you decide you’d like to mount a postcard as a decoration. Have a browse, and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask me or another member of staff.”

Customer: “Well, you’re no help at all!” *storms off*

Travelled North Of Your Nice Level

| Canada | Right | February 17, 2016

(My friend is running a cash register in the express queue. There are usually at least two very clear signs posted about how many items you can bring into the queue. Normally we don’t say anything unless it’s busy or someone is way over the limit. We aren’t allowed to kick them out of line, but we have to tell them at the end of the order that they aren’t supposed to come through the queue. My friend is ringing through someone who has way too many items.)

Friend: “There you go! And just so you’re aware, this is the express lane, and we reserve this line-up for people with 12 items or fewer.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, I didn’t know.”

Friend: “That’s fine, but we do have signs posted at the entrance to the line-up to let people know.”

Customer: *condescendingly* “Well, I’m American.”

Friend: *wide-eyed* “Oh, my god. I didn’t realise the education system in the US was so bad! They don’t teach you to read?”

Customer: *flustered* “I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice!”

Friend: *cheerily* “Nope! We’re supposed to be polite. Have a nice day!”

(The customer didn’t say another word.)

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I’ve Just Been Planted Here

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Right | February 17, 2016

(I’ve been working at my job for about a week now. I’m in the garden section of our store, something I know next to nothing about, and generally only cash people out. This happens while I’m watering the plants before we close down the section.)

Customer: “Miss, can you tell me about the differences between these two types of cacti?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m a recent hire, and I don’t know much about our plants yet.”

Customer: “Well, you’re here, so you need to answer my question.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m still learning this section. I did not expect to be placed here when I was hired, and I’m usually only a cashier.”

Customer: “But I have a question; you have to answer it! You can’t work in a section you don’t know anything about!”

Me: “Well, seeing as how my boss put me here, yes, I can. I really know nothing about the plants. I don’t even know where everything is yet, and I’m only watering tonight because our usual guy called out.”

Customer: “They wouldn’t make you do a job you don’t know! You just don’t want to help me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can call someone who knows more about these things, but I assure you, I do not.”


Me: “Ma’am, I can’t even be trusted to keep a goldfish alive; I promise you, this is not a normal part of my job.”


Me: “Ma’am, honestly, it took me twenty minutes to figure out the hose. I assure you, you do not want my advice on plant-related things.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I saw a rat in the corner; can you get rid of it?”

Me: *thinking nowhere in my job description does it say I am in charge of getting rid of rats* “Ma’am, we’re outdoors. The rat has as much right to be here as we do. If it gets into the store, I’ll be happy to call maintenance, but otherwise, rats are not included in my job.”

(She walked away after that, still muttering about the rat and how I “must know about these things”!)

Putting The Dire Into Directions

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | February 16, 2016

Customer: “Hi, can you tell me where Southgate is?”

Me: “You just take the Whitemud, west, and you’ll turn right. You won’t be able to miss it.”

Customer: “What’s their address?”

Me: “Uhm, I’m not actually su—”

Customer: “So, you just go up this road here?”

Me: “No, it’s the Whitemud. Just up there, and you really can’t miss it.”

(By now I have a customer waiting to do financing and my phone ringing off the hook.)

Customer: “Well, can you just look up the address? You have a computer, don’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes. Just a sec.”

(I figure I can get the address and her out of here quick enough that I can still do my actual job.)

Customer: “Well, if you’re going to sigh THAT loud, it’s obviously too hard for you.”

Me: “I do have to breathe, but let me just get that address here.”

Customer: *starts leaving in a huff*

Me: “I have the address here…”

Customer: *comes back* “No, you’re not willing to help.” *starts walking out again*

Me: “But I do have the address right here if you want it.”

Customer: *leaves*

Board Of Being Transferred

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Working | February 16, 2016

(I am trying to find a copy of a new board game that just came out, but after visiting another store where they were out of stock, I decide to call ahead first before driving to the next store. I’m on hold for about a minute, then someone picks up.)

Employee #1: “Hi, this is [Store]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I’m trying to find a copy of a game. I just wanted to see if it was in stock.”

Employee #1: “Okay, is it a board game or a video game?”

Me: “It’s a board game. It’s called [Board Game].”

Employee #1: “Okay, I’ll go look. Just a minute.”

(I assume they’re going to go check, but instead about thirty seconds go by and then there’s a click and the phone starts ringing again.)

Employee #2: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m looking for a game. It’s called—”

Employee #2: “Oh, you need electronics. This is toys.”

Me: “No, it’s—”

(There’s another click, and I’m on hold for another minute while I’m transferred over.)

Employee #3: “Electronics, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m just trying to find out if you have a copy of a board game in stock, but I think this is the wrong department.”

Employee #3: “Okay, let me look.”

(Another minute goes by in silence, then I get transferred again.)

Employee #4: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’m trying to find a copy of [Board Game]. Can you see if it’s in stock?”

Employee #4: “Oh, that’s not my department. Just a minute…”

(I get transferred again.)

Employee #5: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Is this the toys and games section?”

Employee #5: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m trying to find a copy of a game. It’s called—”

Employee #5: “You’ll need electronics. Let me transfer you.”

Me: “Wait—”

(I get transferred for the fifth time.)

Employee #6: “Can I help you?”

Me: “How late are you open?”

Employee #6: “Until 11.”

Me: “Great. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

(I drove to the store to check. They were out of stock.)

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