The Silent Conversation Killer

| UK | Right | May 12, 2016

(The next customer comes up to my till and puts his items on the counter; he’s wearing headphones over both ears.)

Me: “Hello, would you like a bag for your items today?”

Customer: *silent*

Me: “Sorry, do you need a bag?”

Customer: *looks me in the eyes, still says nothing*

Me: *taking it as a no* “Okay your total is [amount]; are you paying by cash or by card?”

Customer: *silent*

Me: “Excuse me; are you paying by cash or card?”

Customer: *pulls the headphones away from one ear* “What?”

Me: *pretty annoyed by this point* “How will you be paying today?”

Customer: “Oh, card.” *he enters his pin and puts his card away, then stares at me* “Are you gonna offer me a bag, or what?”

Me: *face-palm*

Chose The Wrong Place To Chill

| UK | Right | May 10, 2016

(We run a chilli farm, and have recently opened a retail store in a nearby city. Every single product in our store contains chillies, sauces, jams, marmalades, chocolate bars, even chilli fudge. On our first day open a lady comes in:)

Lady: “Do you have a sauce with blackcurrants in it?”

Me: “Unfortunately we don’t, but we do have a lot of blackcurrant bushes growing on the farm. We could make you a batch of blackcurrant chilli sauce.”

(A week later the lady visits the store again and is very excited when we tell her we now have a blackcurrant sauce, until she looks at the bottle and says:)

Lady: “Oh! It has chillies in it. I don’t like chillies.”

Doesn’t Want To Milk It For Every Penny

| IL, USA | Right | May 9, 2016

(Our store has been testing a new pricing plan, with a huge price cut to basic items to get customers in the door. Milk has gone down to $1.08 for a gallon. Most people are ecstatic, but not everyone…)

Customer: “Excuse me, why is this milk so cheap?”

Me: “Our store is testing a new pricing plan. Corporate has recently decided to compete with [Small Grocery Store] across the street, and we ended up in a small pricing war.”

Customer: “But what’s wrong with it? That doesn’t make sense! Overseas they pay $8 for a gallon of milk!”

Me: “Well, we have more room to raise cows than many other countries.” *shrug*

Customer: “Well, I’m not buying this! I’m going to [Expensive Grocery Chain], where milk is a reasonable price!

(The kicker is that the same company delivers the same milk to our store and where the customer said she was going.)

Their Management Style Is A Hit

| Seattle, WA, USA | Working | May 6, 2016

(I just started my shift, and my manager is telling me my tasks for the day.)

Manager: “When you’re done with that, I need you to hit, uh…”

Coworker: “Hey, no hitting!”

Manager: “All the hitting. I hit everything.” *to me* “I need you to hit the picture frame aisle.”

Coworker: “Especially no hitting that aisle. There’s glass.”

(Later, when straightening up the picture frame aisle, I give myself a small cut on my hand. On my way to get a bandage, I run into the same coworker.)

Me: “Remember when you told me not to hit the picture frame aisle?”

Coworker: “You didn’t listen, did you? I told you. Now you have blood on your hands.”

Both Games Suitable For Fans Of Dorothy

| Springfield, MO, USA | Working | May 6, 2016

(I’m going to a store that’s typically out of my way because it has an exclusive card game based on The Wizard of Oz books, which I’m a fan of. As I’m not sure where the game would be kept, I begin browsing near the toy section when an employee approaches me.)

Employee: “Hey, you finding everything okay?”

Me: “I’m looking for an exclusive card game [Store] has. [Game]?”

Employee: “[Game]? Oh, yeah. That’s right over here.”

(Sure enough, it’s on a shelf a few steps from where I’m standing.)

Me: “Wow, and it’s even priced less than I thought it would be! Thank you!”

Employee: “Based on The Wizard of Oz, not the HBO show. That’s a completely different game.”

(Yes. Quite different!)

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