Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

| St. George, UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

(The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

Manager: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

(The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

(He never talked to said employee.)

Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

Customer: “No, just looking.”

Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

(The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

(There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

That Line Is Dead

| Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I am selling a customer a dryer. For warranty purposes our system logs everyone’s purchases under their names and phone numbers.)

Me: “What’s your phone number, sir?”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

Me: “So, that will be going under [Woman’s Name]?”

Customer: “No. That’s my wife’s name.”

Me: “Is that okay?”

Customer: “Well, she’s dead at the moment so I’m not sure how that would work…”

Love Is A Game

| Fresno, CA, USA | Love/Romance, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am the assistant manager at a local video game/electronics store. A customer comes into the store when it is empty. He is really nice and we are talking about what type of video games and music we enjoy. It was your typical sales conversation and that was all. The next day when it is swamped, my coworker tells me there is a customer on the phone that would like to speak to a manager. I pick it up and professionally introduce myself.)

Customer: “Hey, I am glad it is you that is there. Remember me? I am the guy you talked to yesterday about [Video Game].”

Me: “I am really sorry, sir, but I talk to a lot of people each day. Was there an issue with the game you purchased yesterday?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to call and see if maybe you wanted to go out.”

(I stand there looking at a line to the door and see the customers’ faces start to get upset.)

Me: “I am sorry but I have a line to the door right now and cannot talk about this. Can I put you on hold and get back to you in a few minutes?”

Customer: “You are just going to hang up on me. You are just being a b****. If you didn’t want to go out with me, you shouldn’t have flirted with me.”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry you feel that way but I cannot talk about this right now. I am going to put you on hold and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

(I put the customer on hold and he hung up in a few minutes. The next day my manager let me know that I received a complaint from a customer who was upset that I turned him down for a date and recommended that I be let go for bad customer service!)

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 6

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I’m on the floor helping a customer in our perfume department. She picks up two full sized perfume boxes and heads up to the registers. The line is long, so I follow her up and ring the line down. Finally, she approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, again. Decided to just get the perfumes?”

Customer: “Huh? No. I need to return these.”

Me: *turns the perfume around and point to the soft sensors on the back of the boxes* “Seriously?”

(The customer finally looks at me and I can see the instant she recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh… uh… forget it.” *runs out of the store*

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 5
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return

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