Hurt By His Own Hand

| Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(We have been closed for about 15 minutes. Our store manager always stands at the door to let workers out to make sure they are safe.)

Drunk Guy: “Hey, are you guys closed?”

Manager: “Yes, sir, for about 15 minutes.”

Drunk Guy: “But I need my smokes, mate.”

Manager: “Sorry, sir, we have locked up the smoke shop.”

(The drunk guy starts getting really hostile towards my manager.)

Drunk Guy: “I need my f****** smokes.”

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but we are closed.”

Drunk Guy: “Well f*** you.”

(He walked out and hit the glass with his palm and it left a massive crack. He ran off, jumped in his car, and sped away.  Luckily, one of the other customers got his number plate. What he did not realise is that he left his hand print on the glass. The police came and it turned out he had a criminal record for being drunk and disorderly. Payback is sweet.)

It’s All Peachy

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

(I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

(I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

(He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

(Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

Taxing Faxing, Part 13

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “Did you get the order I faxed you over?  I haven’t heard back from you.”

Me: “Yes, I did get it and tried to fax you a pro forma back, but it kept ringing out.”

Customer: “Yeah, I always unplug the fax machine after I send a fax.”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 12
Taxing Faxing, Part 11
Taxing Faxing, Part 10