Help You To Help Me

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(My mother and I go to her favorite store, which is offering a 50% coupon. An employee is rather helpful with us, and when mom has other questions about an extra coupon, the employee explains that we can use both.)

Mom: *brings the purses up to the register*

Employee: “And that will be all today?”

Mom: “Yeah, and, also…” *fishes out the coupon* “I’ve got this extra coupon that I was told—” *stops herself, and realizes it’s the same employee* “Oh! You already know this! You’re me! I mean, you helped me!”

(I couldn’t stop laughing.)

Dishing Out The Cold Truth

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(It’s been snowing steadily all day. Still, customers come to shop for electronics and ask stupid questions.)

Customer: “I bought [Satellite TV Service] here, but I’m having trouble with it. Can you help?”

Me: “I usually handle computer questions, not TV questions, but I can try. What’s going on?”

Customer: “The channels just aren’t coming through right. They’re all pixelated, and they keep cutting out, and sometimes there’s nothing to see or hear at all.”

Me: “That’s not good. When did it start?”

Customer: “This morning.”

Me: “I haven’t heard of any problems from [Satellite TV Provider]. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the snowstorm. The snow could be interfering with your signal, especially if some has accumulated in the dish of your receiver.”

Customer: “Can you check?”

Me: “Can I check what?”

Customer: “Can you get on your computer and check to see if I have snow on my dish?”

Me: “…no, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The store computers don’t have access to information about whether a person’s satellite dish has snow in it. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, how can I find out?”

Me: “You could try going home and looking at it…”

Not Showing Growth As A Person

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a male with long hair. Sometimes when I feel like being a smart-a**, most of the time really, I end up having this conversation with other long haired men, in this case being a worker at a retail place. People tend to respond the same way, so it usually plays out the same way.)

Me: “That long hair makes you look like a girl.”

(The clerks features rapidly shift to annoyance, then confusion when they see my long hair, then anger.)

Clerk: “Well, YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl, too!”

Me: “No. No, it doesn’t. You see *points* I have a beard. So, my long hair makes me look look a dumba**. YOUR long hair makes you look like a girl.”

Clerk: *stunned*

Me: “Why don’t you have a beard?”