Checkouts Are Places For Change

| Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Money, Top

(I am standing in line around midnight. In front of me is a pregnant girl, around 20 years old. She is wearing pajamas, and clearly looking as if she has seen better days. She also has a black eye, which is a little alarming to me.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything alright?”

Pregnant Customer: “Yes, thanks. Can you see if my card has anything on it before you ring it up?”

Cashier: “No, sorry. I could ring things up one at a time and see if it’ll take for each one. If you don’t mind waiting for me to cash out the other three people in line, I’ll be more than happy to do that for you.”

Pregnant Customer: “No, no, let’s just try. I hope the deposit has hit already.”

(The cashier rings everything in, and the pregnant customer swipes the card. It declines.)

Cashier: “Do you have another form of payment?”

Pregnant Customer: “No…” *starts crying* “He must have already cancelled the card.”

Cashier: “Cancelled the card?”

Pregnant Customer: “My ex-boyfriend kicked me out tonight. He came home and said the baby couldn’t be his, hit me, and threw me out. He must have called and cancelled our food stamp card. I don’t even know where I’m going to put all this. A friend is letting me use her extra fridge until I can get an apartment.”

(One of the customers in line behind me speaks up.)

Customer Behind Me: “Ma’am, just put it on my ticket.”

(I move out of the way so the customer behind me can push his cart forward. He clearly has $200 or more worth of food on his own, and the pregnant customer has about $150.)

Cashier: “Sure.”

Pregnant Customer: “No, no I can’t.”

Customer Behind Me: “Honey, don’t lecture me. My mom was kicked out by my dad because he thought she was sleeping around on him. She worked two jobs to keep a roof over my head. I’m not letting some deadbeat a**-hole throw his girlfriend out because he has trust issues.”

Pregnant Customer: “I can’t. It’s too much. I don’t have a job; I can’t pay you back.”

Customer Behind Me: “Take my card. I’ve seen you in here a few times during regular shopping hours. You’re always very nice to the employees and everyone in line. I need a receptionist for my apartment complex on [street]. Come by tomorrow, and we’ll have an interview. I give discounts to my employees on their rent.”

(By this time, the cashier has finished ringing in the items, and they’re bagged already.)

Cashier: “Your total is $459.92.”

(The customer behind me gently pushes past the pregnant customer. He swipes his card, enters his pin, and then hugs her.)

Customer Behind Me: “Things do get better. See me tomorrow; I’m serious.”

(Sir, wherever you are… You restored some of my faith in humanity. Thank you. Ma’am, wherever you are, I hope you and your baby have a great life, and you find someone to take care of you both and love you the way you deserve. I hope you got that job, but judging from how the man was talking, I’m sure you did!)

Not Interstate Of Mind

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Hello, [store name].”

Customer: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes, we’re open until 6 pm.”

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get there?”

Me: “Oh sure, it’s fairly easy. Take I-495 to [exit], go left at the end of the exit ramp, go left at the first light, and we’re just up the hill; you’ll see the sign.”

Customer: “What? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay, start out on I-495, and—”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “The… highway? Interstate 495?”

Customer: “How do I get to that?”

Me: “Where are you now?”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter; how do I get to that highway?”

Me: “Well, it depends where you are. What town are you in?”

Customer: “No, just tell me how to get to that highway!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t unless I know where you’re starting from!”

Customer: “Never mind, you’re no help! I may or may not come in later!”

Rangers Triumph Again

| NJ, USA | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(I’m a girl looking around the movie section of a popular superstore. A male customer happens to be walking next to me through the aisle. I am wearing a Power Rangers/Pokémon crossover t-shirt. Traditionally, the red Power Ranger is the male team leader, while the pink is the ‘girly girl’ or stereotypical ‘chick’.)

Customer: “Power Rangers, huh?”

Me: “Huh? Oh, yeah.”

Customer: “Why red, though?”

Me: “Just liked the Charizard, I guess.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t have wanted Red though. You should’ve gotten Pink!”

Me: “…why? Because I’m a girl?”

Customer: “Yeah! No girl would ever be the Red Ranger!”

Me: “Actually there have been at least two female Red Rangers. The A-Squad team in ‘SPD’ had a female Red, as did the ‘Samurai’ season.”

Customer: “Those seasons didn’t exist!”

Me: “…yes, they did.”

Customer: “How would you know? You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, as you’ve been telling me. Would you also like to comment on the ‘Mass Effect’ games I have in the car, or—” *I hold up my right hand* “—or perhaps on my Superman ring, too, since apparently I can’t be a female geek?”

(The customer stares at me for a minute before mumbling an apology, and slinking away.)

Bad Jokes Make A Good Customer

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

Me: “Keep in mind, sir, these items are a three day return!”

Customer: “Well I don’t think I will wait three days in line just to return some shirts.”

Me: “Haha, very clever, sir. However do not worry; I wouldn’t make you wait three days. But if they don’t fit right when you get home, bring them back to me within three days so we can get you a refund.”

Customer: “And you know what? I was eating at a fast food joint the other day. I noticed on the door in the bathroom it said that employees must wash hands. So I stood there and stood there, and no employee ever came in to wash my hands. I really didn’t think it was good service.”

Me: “Thank you, sir; that made my day.”

The Text Signaler Concurrence

| Ashford, Kent, UK | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(I am on the checkout, chatting away to a woman and her daughter whilst putting their shopping through. Suddenly, the woman gets a text message on her mobile.)

Phone: “Bazinga! Bazinga!”

Me: “Um, did your phone just ‘bazinga’?”

Woman: “Oh, yes, I have a text. Sorry about that.”

Daughter: “You’re the first to recognize the word.”

Me: “Oh, we love The Big Bang Theory. My dad has that as his text alert too.”

Daughter: “I have the theme as my ringtone!”

Me: “So do both my parents!”

(We all talk about the show for a few moments before parting ways. The next customer comes up, having overheard the last part of our chat.)

Next Customer: “I’m glad they’ve gone. They were in my spot.”

Me: “Another fan?”

Next Customer: “Oh yes…”