Pull The Plug On The Appointment

| WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a fireplace store. I take a call from a customer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, the fan on my stove isn’t working.”

Me: “Oh, no. That’s not good!”

Customer: “Yeah. So what’s wrong with it?”

Me: “Well, hard to say over the phone. It could be a number of things. If you’d like I can set up a service appointment and have one of our techs check it out. Please be aware that we are booked out about two weeks.”

Customer: “Seriously!? What the h***! I’m cold!”

Me: “Well, you have to option to bring the fan into our shop; it’s cheaper and you can do that pretty much anytime.”

Customer: “No, I’m not really comfortable working on this thing.”

Me: “Is your stove working?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “So just your fan isn’t operating? ”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Does it make any noises or grinding sounds?”

Customer: “It’s not doing anything at all. I just got this fan two years ago, I’ll be very unhappy with you if it’s broken already.”

Me: “I hate to ask it, but just to make sure, have you checked to make sure that it’s plugged in?”

(The customer completely goes off on me, calling me all kinds of names. I have permission from my boss to hang up on people who are rude to me without cause but at this point I’m not sure what to do. I let him finish his rant and just change the subject.)

Me: “Do you want to schedule for [date two weeks from now]?”

Customer: “I guess. How much is a service call?”

Me: “$150.”

Customer: “That’s outrageous!”

Me: “Sir, we’re the cheapest around here and we’re booked out because when you’re good, you’re busy.”

Customer: “Fine. I’ll take it but this is ridiculous. You guys are con men, ripping off old people like me.”

(We hang up and less than an hour later, I get another call from him.)

Customer: “Hi. Um, not sure if I talked to you earlier, but um this is… and I, um, checked with my wife and it looks like she unplugged the fan to plug in the Christmas tree lights. So, uh, I’d like to cancel my appointment. Um, thank you.” *click*

In Too Deep (Voice)

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

Me: “Sam.”

Customer: “Your full name?”

Me: “… Samuel.”

Customer: “… Oh.”

Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

Hair + Arm = Harem

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

(He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

(At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

Not A Fan Of Fairytales

| Dubbo, NSW, Australia | Bigotry, Bizarre

(My store has regular dress up days, and today is St Patrick’s Day. I go all out with a green wig, fairy skirt, stockings, and makeup. A male customer in his 60s stops me.)

Customer: “Why are you green?”

Me: “I’m a leprechaun!”

Customer: “You’ll die soon then.”

Me: “Why?!”

Customer: “Leprechauns die at the end of the day!”

Me: “Oh, how about an Irish fairy? Will I last longer then?”

Customer: “Nah, because I’ll shoot you.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I don’t mean real fairies. I mean the gays!”

Me: “Oh. Well, I’m both, then. Have a nice day!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 5

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m the assistant manager of my store. I’m at work on a quiet day when I get the following call.)

Caller: “Hello. I’ve got a problem here.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. What’s the issue?”

Caller: “A refund with you guys didn’t show up on my credit statement!”

(It’s rare, but possible for an employee to make the mistake of charging the card a second time instead of refunding the money, so I check that right away.)

Me: “Oh, dear… By any chance does the same charge from us come up twice? If so—”

Caller: “No, no. There’s just no refund listed!”

(Baffled, I get her to give me the date and number from her receipt so I can look up the transaction.)

Me: “Oh, so, this is the sale transaction, not the refund. When did you come in to return the items?”

Caller: “I didn’t.”

Me: “You… Sorry, what?”

Caller: “I didn’t return them.”

Me: “So… you didn’t actually do a return with us, and now you’re wondering why there’s no refund on your credit statement?”

Caller: “Well, it just sounds silly when you put it like that!”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 4
Refunder Blunder, Part 3
Refunder Blunder, Part 2
Refunder Blunder

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