I’m thirty and my manager is thirty-six. We have to conduct an inspection where we flip off the main power supply to make sure all the emergency lights in the store work.

We go into the electrical room, and there are several panels, each with a rather impressive-looking Main Switch.

I can’t resist.

Me: “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

Manager: “…what?”

Me: “You don’t know what that is? “

Manager: “No.”

Me: “The Emperor’s New Groove. Boo.”

Manager: “Never seen it.”

A moment later, she pulls the switch and nothing happens.

Me: “Wrong… lever.”

I work at a retail chain. This particular day I am working at the register when a customer I have never seen before comes along with his purchase. As I’m ringing it up, he asks for a discount.

Me: “Do you have our rewards card?”

Customer: “No, but can’t you give me your employee discount?”

Me: “Sorry, but the use of those is tracked by the management. If I used it on a customer, I could lose my job.”

Customer: “Oh, stop bluffing! I need that discount!”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t do that if I want to keep my job. Your total is [total].”

Customer: *Now angry* “Outrageous! I’m spending so much money right now! Have you no loyalty to your customers?!”

The grand total I should be willing to lose my job over? About €30.

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 23
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 22
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 21
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 20
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 19

This isn’t even the most-cringe way a customer has demanded a discount! Check out these 10 Stories About Customers Who Will Do Anything For A Discount!

It’s 2014, and I’ve just started a retail job. I’ve worked in another store, so I know a lot about what I am doing.

A woman phones me, looking to order a vacuum. I see that our distribution centre has nothing, so I place the order and tell her I will contact the company to find out how long it will be until our distribution centre gets more.

I call the company, they give me the details, and I call the customer back. I tell her the company will be shipping more out to our distribution centre in another week.

Me: “Now, with luck, you might get it by [date] at the earliest. If not, it would be the week after.” 

Woman: “Thank you!”

The call ends.

The date I gave the customer passes, and a day or so later, I get a call from a man.

Man: “My wife ordered a vacuum, but we haven’t gotten a call yet.”

I look up the vacuum.

Me: “Our distribution centre now has stock; it just hasn’t shipped out yet.”

Man: *Very annoyed and aggravated* “Well, what are we supposed to do? We were promised it would arrive by [date].”

I look at the customer orders and see only two names.

Me: “Is this vacuum for [Woman]?”

Man: “Yes.”

Me: *Very bluntly* “Okay. I was the one dealing with your wife on this. I never promised it would arrive by that date. I said with luck, that would be the earliest it would arrive. That’s a long way from a promise.”

The guy grumbles something.

Me: “The order is still in our system; we’ll call when it arrives.”

The call ended after that, and I just shook my head laughing.

A woman came in and produced a glass paperweight — no box, no receipt, and all the facets were chipped. And she wanted a refund.

Me: “What happened to it?”

Customer: “Oh, my grandchildren like playing marbles with it.”

Me: “And why do you want a refund now?”

Customer: “They’re grown up, and I don’t want it anymore.”

She didn’t get her refund.

We had a guy who came into the store all the time, and he always wanted a discount due to “damages”. It got to the point where only the managers would deal with him because he would invade our personal space as a way to bully us to get what he wanted.

One day, he came in and brought up a desktop fountain.

Customer: “I want a discount. This is cracked.”

Me: “It is a crackle glaze. It is meant to be cracked.”

Customer: “How does it work?”

Me: “You fill it with water and plug it in.”

Customer: “I want to see it.”

Me: “No, I will not be filling it up.”

Customer: “Well, what if it doesn’t work?”

Me: “Then bring it back and we will return it.”

He stood there for a few minutes, trying to stare me down, but I didn’t budge. He did buy the fountain and it obviously worked because I never saw it returned.

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 21
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 20
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 19
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 18
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 17