In Too Deep (Voice)

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

Me: “Sam.”

Customer: “Your full name?”

Me: “… Samuel.”

Customer: “… Oh.”

Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

Hair + Arm = Harem

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

(He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

(At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

Not A Fan Of Fairytales

| Dubbo, NSW, Australia | Bigotry, Bizarre

(My store has regular dress up days, and today is St Patrick’s Day. I go all out with a green wig, fairy skirt, stockings, and makeup. A male customer in his 60s stops me.)

Customer: “Why are you green?”

Me: “I’m a leprechaun!”

Customer: “You’ll die soon then.”

Me: “Why?!”

Customer: “Leprechauns die at the end of the day!”

Me: “Oh, how about an Irish fairy? Will I last longer then?”

Customer: “Nah, because I’ll shoot you.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I don’t mean real fairies. I mean the gays!”

Me: “Oh. Well, I’m both, then. Have a nice day!”

Refunder Blunder, Part 5

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m the assistant manager of my store. I’m at work on a quiet day when I get the following call.)

Caller: “Hello. I’ve got a problem here.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. What’s the issue?”

Caller: “A refund with you guys didn’t show up on my credit statement!”

(It’s rare, but possible for an employee to make the mistake of charging the card a second time instead of refunding the money, so I check that right away.)

Me: “Oh, dear… By any chance does the same charge from us come up twice? If so—”

Caller: “No, no. There’s just no refund listed!”

(Baffled, I get her to give me the date and number from her receipt so I can look up the transaction.)

Me: “Oh, so, this is the sale transaction, not the refund. When did you come in to return the items?”

Caller: “I didn’t.”

Me: “You… Sorry, what?”

Caller: “I didn’t return them.”

Me: “So… you didn’t actually do a return with us, and now you’re wondering why there’s no refund on your credit statement?”

Caller: “Well, it just sounds silly when you put it like that!”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 4
Refunder Blunder, Part 3
Refunder Blunder, Part 2
Refunder Blunder

Likes To Party Hard

, | Mexico | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

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