Attracting A Fridge Magnet

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Right | November 28, 2015

(I am in the business of buying items from auctions and selling them online. This guy had one of the most interesting haggling techniques over a practically new mini fridge. This conversation occurred over several days through text message.)

Customer: “Still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

Customer: “I was wondering if you would take $50 for it.”

Me: “I can’t for that low. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What’s the lowest you will go?”

Me: “$75.”

Customer: “$50 max. It has a scratch and a dent. I see it in the pics.”

Me: “That’s why I’m asking so low. It’s worth $150. Thanks, anyway.”

Customer: “$75 is not low.”

(Three hours later:)

Customer: “Well, what’s the lowest?”

(I decided not to respond as I had already told him my lowest price and we had too big of a discrepancy to continue.)

Customer #2: “Hello, do you still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, I still have it.”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Me: “$85.”

Customer #2: “I’ll give you $50.”

(I start to wonder if this is the same guy. Since I was using an anonymous texting service, texts come through as separate threads rather than one conversational string between two people. I go back and look at the previous string and realize this is the same person, as if I won’t recognize that it’s the same number.)

Me: “Lowest I can do is $75.”

Customer: “Is it in perfect condition?”

Me: “We discussed this last night. The price has not changed. You are clearly interested. Why don’t you come have a look? The scratch on the outside has no effect on the functionality of the fridge. The inside is pristine, like new. You can purchase it for $75 or you can go to the store and buy a new one for over $150 or look for a smaller fridge that fits in your budget. $75 is the lowest I will go. Let me know if you are interested.”

Customer: “Not interested for $75.”

Me: “Best of luck to you.”

Customer: “You’re too far, anyway. You live in the middle of nowhere.”

Me: “…Then why did you contact me?”

Customer: “Cuz I’ll go for $50, duh.”

Me: “Haha, okay. Have a good one, man.”

(Four days later, guess who texts again…)

Customer: “Will you take $50 for the fridge?”

Me: “It’s still $85. Please stop asking if I will take $50. If you want it, the lowest is $75. If not, please look elsewhere.”

Customer: “D*** it.”

(Over a month later, I have since sold the fridge for the price I was asking and have acquired two more.)

New Customer: “Hello, do you still have the fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

New Customer: “Will you take $40?”

Me: “I’ve got two posted, one for $90 that’s brand new and another for $75 that’s not… So, no, I can’t do $40. I could do $80 for the new and $60 for the other.”

New Customer: “All right, thanks.”

(My boyfriend jokingly suggests that maybe this is the same guy. We laugh and poke fun and play ‘what if,’ but I decide to go back through my texts and check. It is A MONTH AND THREE DAYS since our last contact, and sure enough, IT’S HIM.)

Me: “If you’re asking about the one we talked about last month, I sold that weeks ago for full price. These are new fridges I have.”

Customer: “Crap.”

‘Surprise’-ingly Good Parenting

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | November 27, 2015

(Our store is known for our “surprise bags”, where, for a few bucks, you get six randomly chosen accessories that are gathered from the old stock sent back to corporate. To keep the element of surprise, the bags are colored blue and not very opaque, which means that a lot of curious customers will tear open the bags to see what’s inside. I come around the corner and I see a young girl pull a long thin hair clip out of the bag where it had been against the plastic and uses it to try to wedge the bag open. If they’re really young kids, we usually just tell them that they can’t do that and deal with the bag, but this girl looks to be about ten and should know better.)

Me: “Excuse me, you can’t open that.”

Girl: *startled that she had been caught* “I didn’t open it.”

(What I didn’t notice this that at the same time I caught the girl, so did her mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing?!”

Girl: “Nothing.”

Me: “Your daughter was opening one of the surprise bags.”

Girl: “No, I wasn’t!”

Mother: *to me* “Oh, I know. I saw her do it.”

Girl: “I wasn’t opening it!”

Mother: “Then what were you doing?”

Girl: “…”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Our policy is that we can’t force you to buy it. But, unfortunately I’m going to have to take the bag and put it in our damaged products bins.”

Mother: “Oh, no! She opened it; she’s buying it!”

(The mother grabbed her daughter by the arm and marched her over to the register where she made her daughter use her allowance money to buy the opened surprise bag. Even as they were leaving the store I still heard the daughter insisting that she didn’t open it.)

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Be My Guest And Just Leave

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | November 26, 2015

(I work at a national chain store that sometimes offers promotional gift cards for certain purchases. These change constantly and people are always getting them wrong; they buy the wrong brand, wrong size, or don’t buy enough to qualify. If they point out a problem during the checkout there’s usually something I can do (ranging from figuring out where they went wrong to just giving them $5 off something if they complain enough). Once the transaction is over, however, it’s over. I can’t do anything.)

Woman: “Um, I was supposed to get a $5 gift card?

Me: *holding the receipt for the completed transaction* “Oh, really? What do you think was supposed to show it? It didn’t come up on the register.”

Woman: “These!” *waves small packets of feminine hygiene products*

Me: “Actually, I think the promotion is on the larger size. It didn’t come up.”

Woman: “You think, or you know?”

Me: “Well, these promotions change all the time and it didn’t ring up, so…”

Woman: “Can you just give me the gift card?”

Me: “Well, this transaction is actually completed. However, if you want to go upstairs to Guest Services I’m sure they’ll be able to sort it out for you.”

Woman: “Are you kidding me? I have to go to Guest Services for this? I don’t want to go that far!”

(We’re at the foot of the escalator that drops people off right in front of Guest Services. She’d have to walk about a hundred feet, not counting the escalator.)

Me: “Uh, okay. I’m really sorry, but there’s nothing that I can do about it now. The transaction is over.”

Woman: “I’m not going to Guest Services! Just take the [Product] off. I don’t want them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t—”

Woman: “I only bought them for the gift card. If I’m not going to get the gift card I don’t want them, and I want them taken off.”

Me: “…Okay, so. Returns are upstairs at Guest Services.”

Should Have Declined The Marriage

| USA | Right | November 25, 2015

(Customer walks up with his wife and a basket of items of which he spends ten minutes looking over and returning over half. With what he’s kept he lets me ring him out, then decides to pull out a check that has been scribbled over with five different store names.)

Customer: “You can take this as long as I initial it, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, I don’t think I can because of the amount of times it’s been written over.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, you can take it.” *he tries to write our store name in the bottom corner*

Me: “I’m afraid not. However, if you have any other tender I can take that.”

(He has a white out pen in the items he is trying to purchase.)

Customer: “What if I used white out? Can I open that one and see if it will work?”

Me: “You unfortunately won’t be able to use it until it’s purchased. I can call my manager just to ensure you we can’t take the check, if you’d like.”

Customer’s Wife: “Well, then, do it. We don’t have all night for your incompetence.”

(The manager arrives and states that we cannot take his check but are glad to take any other tender.)

Customer’s Wife: *to her husband* “Just great! Give me your card, dumb-s***. Probably nothing on them since you’re always broke.”

Me: “Sorry, that card was declined.”

(She storms out of the store while he husband is asking her a question.)

Customer: “Sorry, she wrote on my last check to the wrong place.”

(He continues to slide cards that are coming up declined. Eventually he gives up and before leaving shouts:)

Customer: “Don’t ever get f****** married!”

Deathly Absolute

| Newark, DE, USA | Working | November 24, 2015

(I’m calling myself out on this. The card readers at my store have a display where it asks for verification, just so the customers know exactly how much they’re spending. My customer is a very sweet little old lady, and I tend to be a socially awkward person.)

Me: “And the reader just wants you to be absolutely sure on the total.”

Customer: *chuckling lightly to herself* “Well, is anything absolute?”

(There’s an awkward pause as she hits ‘yes’ and starts to sign her name.)

Me: “Death.”

(There’s another pause as we both realize what I just said, and she chuckles again.)

Customer: “Well, that’s true.”

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