About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3

| Springfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

(I have worked with a customer for about 10 or so minutes to find a pair of jeans. I hear a beeping from what sounds like a cell phone coming from the customer, but he is ignoring it.)

Me: “We have some of these on clearance here—if you need to take that, it’s fine.”

Customer: “Oh naw, that’s just my bracelet.”

(The customer leans down to his ankle to reveal a huge black bracelet for house arrest.)

Customer: “The battery is dying.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(We move to the register.)

Me: “We have a [drugstore] close by if you need any sort of battery.”

Customer: “Naw, I gotta go home and charge it. Can I go put these on?”

Me: “Sure, let me take the tags off for you, and we can process it when you come back.”

(He returns after this, and we process the exchange. He thanks me, and his bracelet begins to beep again…)

Related:
About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
About To Get Charged With Battery

Unnatural Attitude

| Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(This month, we are taking donations for children with a particular disease, and ask our customers if they’d like to donate at the end of the transaction. I ask the current customer if he would like to make a small donation.)

Customer: “No thanks. I believe in natural selection.”

(I freeze, and so does everyone standing behind him.)

Me: “Sir, this is for children with [disease].”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. Still, natural selection. If I had [disease], I know I wouldn’t want people donating to save me if I was going to die. The money can be better spent on other things.”

(By this point, half the line is glaring at him, and I’m still stunned.)

Me: “Even if you were a child, sir?”

Customer: “Yup.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt.”

(The customer leaves, and I begin taking care of the next customer.)

Next Customer: “Before you get too far, I’d like to donate $2 to make up for that guy. ‘Natural selection!’ What a monster!”

(After this customer, everyone in line who has seen our exchange made a sizable donation for the cause! Certainly made up for ‘natural selection’ guy!)

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

Customer: “Do you take real money?”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Real money!”

(The customer holds up US currency.)

Me: “Oh, yes we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

Customer: “Good, you people here are weird about your money.”

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2
Loonie Over A Toonie

Time Lord Of The Ring

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

(We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

Me: “I like him.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

Customer: “…whatever.”

Receipted And Defeated

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m working the closing shift in the lumber yard, when a customer comes in just before closing with a receipt for a special order, and rushes up to one of my coworkers. It should be noted that we have two different kinds of receipts, one for orders that have been paid for but aren’t ready to be picked up, and one for orders that are ready to pick up.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Hey, you’ve been spending a lot of time with that customer. Do you need help getting them what they need so we can finish closing?”

Coworker: *shows me receipt for special order* “This is one that says they’ve paid for it, but can’t pick it up yet. I don’t know what’s happening; I’m trying to find this guy’s special order.”

Me: “You can’t load it anyway; it hasn’t been invoiced out. Did you tell him he needs to head inside, and get a different receipt?”

Coworker: “Yeah, he said he just came from there, and they just printed him this receipt. I’m calling inside the store to figure it out.”

Me: *to the customer* “Sir, when did you place this order?”

Customer: “Just now! That guy at checkout just printed that receipt. I don’t understand why you can’t load it!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve just placed a special order. That’s because we don’t carry the product normally; it has to be shipped here from the manufacturer. We can’t load it because we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Oh… that actually makes sense, sorry.”