Having A ‘Hey’ Day

| MN, USA | Awesome Workers, Funny Names

(I work in a store that sells various parts for various machines. It’s a policy/allowance that customers can bring in items that need a replacement to help us better identify what they are looking for at the store. This particular customer brings in an item I’ve never seen before.)

Customer #1: “Hello, can you help me find a replacement part for this?”

Me: “I can definitely try; do you know what it is?”

Customer #1: “Yes, it’s a fuel tank cap.”

Me: *after looking through the book to see if we have anything like it* “I’m afraid we don’t sell that in our store, but we can order it for you special if you’d like.”

(The customer now turns extremely rude.)

Customer #1: “You know what, I’m just gonna go find a store that actually sells what they say they are going to sell, and actually has it in stock. Okay, missy?”

(She turns to walk away, and I go to finish a task I had started.)

Customer #1: “Hey! Hey you in the shirt!”

(I turn around to see the customer who had the tank cap is talking to me again.)

Customer #1: “Hey, my husband needs help here.”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer #2: “Yea, I’m looking for [spray] for my cattle.”

(I lead him to the aisle that has the items he is looking for.)

Me: “Is that it for you, sir?”

Customer #2: “Yes, thank you.”

Customer #1: *under her breath* “At least she found what HE was looking for!”

(I start to walk away again when I hear shouting from the same customer.)

Customer #1: “Hey, HEY YOU! MY HUSBAND HAS A QUESTION!”

(I go and help Customer #2, with Customer #1 making very rude comments about my service to her. Finally, I turn and face her.)

Me: “Ma’am, I would love to help you order that part you are looking for; however, I will have to wait until you are not negatively commenting every move I make. I am very sorry we did not have the part you wanted in the store, but I offered you another option which you clearly stated was not in your interest. If you change your mind, I will be down aisle four. Have a nice day.”

(I start walking away now, being the husband is done.)

Customer #1: “Hey—”

Me: “My name is not ‘Hey,’ and I would like it very much if you referred to me properly, as I have with you. If you do have any more questions, I will be down aisle four.”

(I never did get a complaint.)

Went Beyond Their Reason

| Newtown, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling Bed Bath & Beyond [Location]. This is [My Name]. How can I direct your call?”

Customer: “Hi, yeah, is this Bed Bath & Body Works?”

Me: “This is Bed Bath & Beyond; Bath & Body Works is a different store.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “…is this the store you meant to call?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What were you calling about, sir? What were you looking for information about?”

Customer: “Uh. I don’t know?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do much for you without more information, especially if this isn’t the store you meant to call!”

Customer: “Well, you’re NO help, are you now?” *click*

Drug Test: Scoring A Big Fat ‘D’

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Hall of Fame, Rude & Risque

(I am doing to pre-closing activities when a young man runs up, puts his hands on the checkout desk, and leans toward me in a panic.)

Customer: *under his breath* “Where do you keep the penises?”

Me: “I must have misheard you, sir. The what?”

Customer: *still mumbling, looking around* “You know what I’m talking about. The penises.”

Me: “I… know what those are. I’m not sure why you would think we’d carry them.”

Customer: *getting agitated* “Not, like, real ones. You know, they come in… like… black, and white, and Asian.”

Me: “Wait, you’re looking for a fake penis?”

Customer: *relieved that he’s gotten through to me* “Yeah, like, so you can fill it with urine. From someone else. For a thing. Where are they?”

Me: *now realizing this is one of our many ‘help me pass a drug test’ customers* “We don’t carry anything to help you pass a drug test, or perform any other illegal activity. I can’t sell you ANYTHING now. Store policy. Please leave.”

Customer: “Who said anything about a drug test?”

Me: “Sir, for what legitimate purpose could you be filling a fake penis with someone else’s urine?”

(The customer struggled for a moment, looked around, and left.)