(A customer comes in with a laptop that he bought and a laptop sleeve that he got for free with the laptop.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, this sleeve doesn’t fit the laptop.”

Me: “Okay, that’s no problem, sir. I don’t have any larger sleeves, but you can take a look at the laptop bags.”

Customer: “No, I just want my money back.”

Me: “Well, sir, you didn’t pay anything for the sleeve. It came for free with the laptop as part of a promotion. I can return it for you, but you won’t get any money back.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I can go ask the manager if you like.”

Customer: “Do that.”

(I go in the back and talk to the manager, who tells me exactly what I just told the customer. Then, I head back out to the front.)

Me: “Well, sir, the manager told me the same thing. I can return it, but you won’t get any money back.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! Who do you people think you are? I want my money back!”

Me: “But, sir, you didn’t pay anything for it.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Go get your manager! I’ll get your a** fired!”

(A customer comes up to the register with a few small items carrying a large, seemingly empty purse.)

Me: “Would you like a bag?”

Customer: *scoffs* “Do they really have you ask that?”

Me: “Well, yes. Some people like to be green by not taking a bag.”

Customer: “Don’t ever say that again. It makes the store sound cheap. Yes, I want a bag.”

(I place her items in a bag and she storms off in a huff, shoving the bag in her purse.)

This story is part of the snobby customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

13 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Are So Bad With Money They Could Probably Cause A Recession

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Read the roundup!

(We have candy canes left over from a holiday event sitting on a shelf above my register. A woman has just left her seven or eight-year-old daughter guarding a second load of purchases while she puts the rest in the car. The daughter is clutching a care-worn doll.)

Girl: *very politely* “Excuse me, I noticed you seem to have a bowl of candy canes up there. May I have one?”

Me: “Sure, as long as your mother says it’s alright.”

Girl: “Well then, I guess you will have to ask her, or I will have to ask, or…” *lowers her voice* “…the doll’s soul will have to ask.”

Me: “You know what? I can ask her. Yeah. I can totally ask her.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bridal Shop]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was told I could pay for my dress over the phone. I can’t remember the style number but I know the color.”

Me: “No problem, I should be able to look it up for you. Is this a bridesmaid dress or a bridal gown?”

Customer: “I’m a bridesmaid. I know the color is placenta.”

(Thinking I misheard her, I move forward.)

Me: “What is the bride’s name?”

(I get her information and pull up the wish list.)

Me: “Okay, I see that the bride has selected style 1234 in persimmon. Also, we have that you need a size 12.”

Customer: “Um, I think you have the color wrong. The bride told me it’s placenta.”

Me: “Well, it may be that she misread our catalog or just mispronounced it when she was talking with you, but she definitely put persimmon in her wish list.”

Customer: “Are you sure she didn’t pick placenta and somebody put the wrong color in the computer?”

Me: “I can assure you that we do not carry a color called placenta.”

Customer: “Well, I’m gonna call her and make sure she knows you put that persnickety color on her file instead of placenta! I’ll call you back.”

This story is part of the Wedding roundup!

Read the next Wedding roundup story!

Read the Wedding roundup!

(We are currently running a promotion where customers can get 20% off their entire purchase with a coupon. On this day, I watch as a customer brings 5 items into the changing room, picks up the first item, and brings it to the cash register, leaving the other four behind.)

Customer: “Just this, please.”

Me: “Sure. Was there a problem with the other four items?”

Customer: “No, no, I still want them! Leave them there for me. I’ll come back for them.”

Me: “You’ll… come back for them? I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m afraid we don’t reserve items.”

Customer: “I’ll only be a second!”

(I decide not to say anything and continue with the transaction.)

Customer: “Wait, I want to use my coupon! It’s a 20% discount!”

(I take her coupon and bring up her new total. She pays and leaves the store. However, she immediately turns on her heel and comes back in, heading towards the changing rooms where she picks up the next item on the pile and brings it to me.)

Customer: “Hello, just this, please. And I have a coupon!” *takes out another coupon*

Me: “You know, ma’am, this isn’t necessary. 20% off the total price of all the items is exactly the same as the sum of 20% off each individual item. So you can just buy all your items in a single transaction.”

Customer: “Are you stupid? If I bought them in a single transaction, I’d only be getting 20% off! But I have five coupons! Twenty times five is a hundred! So now, I’m getting 100% off!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: *winks* “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone how to cheat the system!”