Grant Me The Patience To Teach Them Patience

| IN, USA | Right | August 26, 2016

(The store I work at does not have the conveyor belts at the registers like a lot of the more well-known stores, so there is very little counter space, and with people being in a big hurry all the time, customers who are next in line put some of their stuff up on the counter before I’m even done with the first customer. An older lady comes up, and is checking out, when another lady comes up behind her, and puts her item on the counter. With how close she is getting with the first customer, I assume they are related, or together, so I just keep doing my job. Customer #1 has just finished paying, and is getting her stuff together, getting ready to leave. While she is doing that, I go ahead and ring up Customer #2’s item. I tell her the total, and Customer #2 looks at Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “Excuse you, can you get out of the way? I’m trying to pay.”

(Customer #1 finishes what she was doing, and without saying anything, walks out the door. I now realizing they weren’t together and start getting annoyed at Customer #2’s attitude towards Customer #1.)

Customer #2: *glares at Customer #1 as she walks away and, when she turns back to me, she says annoyed, and rudely* “Can you believe some people? I don’t understand why people just stand there in the way when people are trying to pay.”

Me: “Well, you know, there is a way around that.”

Customer #2: “Really? What’s that?”

Me: “Patience.”

(She glared at me without saying anything while I handed her her receipt. I turned around and walked away, and then she left. It felt good putting her in her place.)

An Alco-Hole In Your Reasoning

| NC, USA | Working | August 25, 2016

(My mom and I are the weird customers in this story. My mom and her partner just bought a house together, and we go to a store that specializes in wines and beers to pick out some refreshments for the house-warming party. Of note: we’ve always had a weird vocabulary, my mom almost never drinks, and I’m 16 when this takes place.)

Mom: “Hmm…” *trying to figure out what beer to get*

Employee: “How can I help you ladies today?”

Mom: “Well, we’re having a little get-together, and I’m just now realizing I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Employee: *turning to me* “And, may I ask, how old are you?”

Mom: “My daughter’s sixteen, but she’s with me.”

Me: “I’m just here in a pack-mule capacity.”

Mom: “I’ve never been big on alcohol, and I suspect she takes after her mother in that regard, but I know most of the people who are coming to our house-warming party would want a beer or a glass of wine. Can you help us?”

(The employee helped pick out some general crowd-pleasers, but kept eyeing me like she expected me to pop the lid off a bottle and start chugging it down. My step-mom ended up declaring one of the picks to be her new favorite wine!)

Time To Ship Them A Brain

| CA, USA | Right | August 25, 2016

(I am a manager at a large retail chain store and am called over to the guest service desk to assist a customer.)

Customer: “I did an in-store pick up order but I didn’t know these items would be so big… Can I take them off the order?”

Me: “You would need to cancel your whole order and we can ring you up right now for the stuff you do want.”

Customer: “But online I got free shipping…”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “If I buy them here I won’t qualify for the free shipping…”

Me: “…?!”

(I give the guest a bewildered look and he looks back at me puzzled.)

Customer: “Do I have to pay for shipping now?”

Me: “You don’t pay shipping for in-store pick up, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Customer: “I don’t wanna risk it. I’ll just take the large items. No worries. Thanks!”

(Am I missing something?!)

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Just Be Confused

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Right | August 24, 2016

(I work for a salon furniture company and this customer has called in asking about the width of an item.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I was calling about [Item]. What is the width? It says 46.5″ but how long is that exactly?”

Me: “The width is as listed. The 46.5 inch measurement is correct.”

Customer: “Yeah, but how long is that? How long is 46.5 inches? How long is that exactly?”

Me: “It is exactly 46.5 inches, sir. That is the exact measurement.”

Customer: “No, how long is that exactly? Like I know is says 46.5 but how long is that??”

Me: “It is just under 4 feet, sir.”

Customer: “Cool, that is all I needed to know. Could have said that the first time.”

Dawn Of The Dreams Of The Dead

| Washington, DC, USA | Working | August 24, 2016

(One effect that a high-stress job has on me is that I dream intensely about work. I’m currently working as a seasonal employee at a store — obviously a high-stress job. I do, however, very much enjoy what I do.)

Me: “I’ve been dreaming about being at work. I’m surrounded by demanding customers and I can’t make them go away.”

Manager: “When I dream about being at work, I imagine all the customers are zombies. Then I can smack them on the head.”

(Yep, I like this job.)

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