Try Not To Sweat The Sweat Shop

| USA | Bigotry, Comics Single, Extra Stupid

(I am in a fitting room, and I overhear a conversation.)

Customer: “I like this top, and this dress, but it doesn’t quite fit well. Do you guys have another one of the same size in the back?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know for a fact that that top is the last one we have, and that dress is the last one we have in that size.”

Customer: “Oh… That’s okay. I can wait.”

Coworker: “…”

Customer: “…”

Coworker: “Umm… May I ask what you’re waiting for?”

(The customer leans in to whisper loud enough for everyone in the sixteen fitting room area to hear.)

Customer: “I don’t mean to sound racist or nothing like that… but… like… don’t you guys have little Asian kids in the back to make these?”

Coworker: “Umm… I’m sorry, no… We’re not a sweatshop. All our merchandise is legal.”

Customer: “Oh… Okay…”  *leaves*

Small Fry Looking For The Big Wig

| Nashville, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A customer wants a blender.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We are sold out of those blenders.”

Customer: “Well the sign on the shelf says [special price], so I should get this blender for [special price]!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. It’s not the same blender as the ones that were on sale, and we are sold out of the blenders that were on sale.”

Customer: “This is just outrageous! Who can I talk to so that I can file a complaint? What’s your store number? I’m going to report you!”

Manager: *very professional, but now with sharper tone* “Here is the number for our customer service hotline. They’ll be happy to take your call. Our store number is [number].”

Customer: “No, I want to talk to your CEO!”

Manager: “Sir, this is the number that you can call to file complaints.”

Customer: “All right.” *takes number* “Yes, I want to speak with your CEO.”

(The customer walks away, talking on the phone.)

Me: *after a few minutes* “Yeah, my laptop crashed the other day, so I called Bill Gates. That guy knows customer service.”

Knock Your Socks Off

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m the cashier. The store has a rewards loyalty card. The transaction has been normal up to this point.)

Me: “Do you have a [Store] rewards card?”

Customer #1: “No, I do not! I was fired from this store because I wore the wrong colored socks! So I refuse to get a rewards card.”

(The customer suddenly throws her credit card at me. I’m speechless so I just finish the transaction in stunned silence.)

Me: “Have a good day.”

(Customer #1 huffs out of the store. The customer behind her comes up to the register with a dumbfounded look on his face.)

Customer #2: “I have a feeling wearing the wrong socks wasn’t the reason she was fired.”

It’s Made With Watership Down

| NH, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(We have for sale a really soft brand of throw blankets. They’re called ‘Bunny Soft’ to reflect just how soft they are. A customer comes up to my register with one.)

Customer: “These aren’t made from real bunnies are they?”

Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s all polyester. I don’t even think real bunnies are this soft.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want it if it’s made from real bunnies. That’s just not right.”

Acrimonious Acronyms

| Middletown, RI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(A customer pulls out his credit card to pay for his purchase. We cashiers have to push a button on the computer before the card reader will work.)

Me: “Will that be debit or credit?”

Customer: “Credit.”

Me: “Okay, wait for the green light then slide your card through the machine.”

Customer: *slides card before the green light comes on then stares at the machine* “It didn’t work.”

Me: “That’s okay. Just slide your card again now that the green light is on.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. You did say to wait for the green light. I have an acronym for that. FTFD!”

Me: “FTFD?”

Customer: “Follow the f****** directions!”

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