Bird Brained, Part 8

| Reading, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Pets & Animals

(I work in a small natural remedies shop. A customer comes in just as we are opening. We open early in the morning; birds are literally still singing outside. The customer browses around for a while, looking increasingly more irritated until stalking up to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me?! Aren’t you going to do anything about those d*** birds? They won’t shut up.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am, but we can’t really do much about the birds; they’re out there singing every morning. Maybe you could come back a little later?”

Customer: “I can’t come back later; I’ve got s*** to do today! Can’t you put on some music or something?”

Me: *bemused* “Okay, I’ll see what’s behind the counter.”

(I go to look through the store’s CDs, and try not to laugh.)

Customer: *stomps foot* “Well?!”

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s all sounds of nature type stuff.”

Customer: “So put it on!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s bird noises.”

Customer: *stares intently* “Put it on.”

(She continues her shopping in peace and condescendingly asks me ‘isn’t that much better now?’ to the twin cacophony of singing birds in the background. Since then she’s come back every week at the same time, and I make sure I have the sounds of nature on hand when she does.)

Related:
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 6
Bird Brained, Part 7

Little Pony, Big Problem

| USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(I always try to make conversation with the customers, especially the kids. I notice that the young daughter of the family I’m ringing up is wearing a shirt bearing a picture of Fluttershy, one of the ponies from the new ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon.)

Me: “I like your shirt, sweetheart! That’s Fluttershy, huh? Fluttershy’s my favorite pony!”

(The little girl glares at me.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Girl: *crying* “You can’t have Fluttershy for your favorite, because Fluttershy is my favoritest pony ever, in the whole wide world! I like her way more than you could ever ever ever, and she’s my pony pal, not yours! I love Fluttershy, so you CAN’T!”

Me: “Oh… uhm, can I say Pinkie Pie is my favorite then?”

Girl: *sniffling, wiping her eyes* “Yeah. You can have Pinkie Pie.”

Doing A Job On The Kids

| Blackfoot, ID, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(A mother comes in with two young sons. One is about seven, and the other about four.)

Mother: “I got you both candy. Now, no more fighting in the car.

Me: *to the kids* “Fighting in the car? Uh oh. Do you know what happens to kids who fight in the car?”

Boys: “No. What?”

Me: “They get left at gas stations. And do you know what we do with kids who get left here?”

Boys: *wide-eyed* “What?”

Me: “We put them to work. And we don’t give them the fun jobs; we make them clean the toilet!”

(By now the mom is just laughing.)

Boys: “We don’t want to stay here!”

Me: “Yeah. We make the really bad kids clean the toilets with their tongues!”

(I look up to the mom.)

Me: “That might buy you 15 minutes of them not fighting!”

Mom: *to her boys* “Guess you’d better behave so you don’t get left some where.”

Boys: “We’ll quit fighting!”

The Light In A Polite Lite World

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a convenience store with a pharmacy. I’ve been working there for just about a year, and have given up completely on meeting a customer who’s nice to me. While I’m ringing people out, a boy about the age of eight or nine walks up to my register by himself.)

Boy: *places Xbox live card on the counter* “Just this, please.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring him up and give him his total. It’s about $20.)

Boy: “I’m sorry; I have about $15 in cash, but the rest is in quarters. Is that okay?”

Me: *smiling* “That’s fine. Now I won’t need quarters later.”

(The boy smiles and counts out his change. I finish the transaction and hand him the receipt with his card.)

Me: “There you go. Have a nice day.”

Boy: *smiling politely* “Thank you very much. You have a nice day too!”

(He waves and smiles as he walks out. That boy restores my faith in humanity. He is now a regular at our store and I always love seeing him, still as polite as ever!)

Supergirl

| Marshfield, WI, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(Our store is running an exclusive movie screening promotion for ‘Man Of Steel’ over the summer. We receive two cardboard stand-ups of Superman. One of them is in direct line of our automatic doors on a windy day. The stand-up falls down. I am approaching the stand-up to put it up again when a little girl, about six or seven, runs up.)

Little Girl: “Oh, no! Superman’s DEAD!”

Me: “No, sweetie, he’s not dead. He’s just resting a bit. But I think it’s time for him to get back to work. Do you want to help me?”

(The little girl nods. I bend down to lift Superman back up and she puts her hands under to help also. As she does, I hear her mutter to herself, as kids do when they are concentrating on something.)

Little Girl: “Come on, Superman. Time to get back to work!”