(My boyfriend and I are on vacation, and have stopped in a little hole-in-the-wall souvenir shop. We are approached by a Tico woman. Note: my boyfriend is Chinese, but speaks fluent Spanish.)
Woman: *in very broken English* “You brother and sister?”
Boyfriend: “No, no. She’s my girlfriend.”
Woman: *confused look*
Boyfriend: “Mi novia.”
(The woman gets a shocked look on her face and begins prattling on in Spanish, which I do not understand. My boyfriend blushes darker and darker as she talks. When she finally stops talking…)
Me: “What did she say?”
Boyfriend: “She said she’ll track me down and castrate me if I ever hurt you.”
Woman, to me: “Good luck, mi amiga bonita!”
(A customer comes to me with two giant bags of dog food. I ring them through.)
Customer: “You must think I have a bunch of dogs huh?”
Me: “Um, yeah. Sure.”
Customer: “Nope! The in-laws are in town!”
(This occurs at the busiest time of year for our company. We have every checkout possible open and there are often lines of at least fifteen people during most of the day. I am serving at my checkout when I hear a customer grumbling from the line. He comes to my checkout.)
Me: “Hi there, sir, thanks for waiting. Is this everything you wanted today?”
Customer: “NO! I am NOT buying these products! I waited in line for twenty minutes and that is far too long for anyone to wait to buy anything!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is our busiest time of year and as you can see, all of our staff are currently serving–”
Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not buying anything! You can put this all back yourself. I didn’t wait in line for this kind of treatment.”
Me: “Um, so you waited in line to tell me that you aren’t going to wait in line and buy these products?”
Customer: “Yes!” *storms off*
(I’m straightening things in the store and I have just finished an aisle. As I walk into the next aisle, which contains candles, I see a customer looking at the candles. He looks very angry and makes a strange face when he sees me walking towards him.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”
Customer: “You don’t have mulberry. That’s rude!”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “You should be!” *stomps out of the aisle*
(It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)
Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”
Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”
Son: “Why not?!”
Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”
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