Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

| Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

(Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

(Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

(Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

Me: “I better rethink this.”

(I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

Man: “So, do you even work here?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

Crazy Requests Only Go In One Direction

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

(I work in a shop that sells comics, video games, trading cards, and assorted trinkets related to the culture around them. I work in the back where I test incoming consoles to check for issues. Between the back and the front is a small hole in the wall where I see a customer with a problem.)

Coworker: “That’s gonna be £32.20.”

Customer: “Wait, I have the deal here.”

(The place is running a small deal where you get 10% of the cheapest item if you present a flyer with the deal written on the back. My coworker proceeds to change the price accordingly. I get called to the front while the customer speaks to the owner. After hearing him rant for about five more minutes:)

Customer: “I can’t believe you advertize a deal and not follow up on it. The [Competing Store] down the road would give me all this for free for all the trouble. What can YOU do for me?”

Me: “Give you directions to [Competing Store]?”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

| PA, USA | Funny Names, Liars & Scammers

Me: “Welcome to [Store]! Let me know if there’s any—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have any questions; my brother works at the Ohio location.”

Me: “Uhm, are you sure? We don’t have an Ohio location.”

Customer: “Oh, you don’t know.”

(She brushes me off and starts shopping. When she’s finished shopping, I start to check her out.)

Customer: “I should get the employee discount, because of my brother.”

Me: “Okay. Did he teach you the employee handshake?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We only give the employee discount to people who know the secret handshake.”

Customer: “How rude! Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “How about the owner instead? That would be me. I own both locations, neither are in Ohio.”

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4