Doesn’t Know How To Window Shop

| England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a bargains store where people can get almost anything for less than the RRP. An elderly customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Will these curtains fit my window?”

Me: “What size is the window you’re buying for?”

Customer: “Living room.”

Me: “No, sorry I mean like what are the measurements for it?”

Customer: “It’s a normal front living room window.”

Me: “Every window is different. These ones you’ve picked out are 90″x90″, so they would fit a fairly large window. Do you know the size in inches, or even centimetres? We can work from there.”

Customer: “No, but it’s the same size window as everyone else on my street, so I think it’ll be the same for everywhere. Would they fit your window?”

The Only Way To Stop The Call Going Down Under

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

(I work at a well-known electronics store in the computer department.  I am at the customer service desk finishing up with another customer when the phone rings. Seeing that the customer service reps are all busy I take the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to someone in computers.”

Me: “I can actually help you. What questions do you have?”

Caller: “Oh… I thought I called the customer service desk.”

Me: “You did. I just happened to be up here and answered the phone.”

Caller: “Well, I would really like to talk to someone in computers.”

Me: “I do work in the computer department. I was just up here…”

Caller: “Could you please transfer me to computers so I can talk to a computer salesman?”

Me: “Okay… please hold.”

(My manager is standing close by and asked what is going on. I explain the call to him and tell him I am going to go to the computer department to take the call. My manager decides to follow me since he knows my sense of humor and is sure this is only going to get better. Once in the computer department I pick up the call.)

Me: “[Store] computers. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Aren’t you the guy I just asked to transfer me to computers?”

Me: “Yes. I am in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I WANT SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN COMPUTERS!”

Me: “Sir, I do work in computers and I am fact in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Caller: “DON’T LIE TO ME. YOU WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE AND I TOLD YOU I WANT TO SPEAK TO A COMPUTER SALESMAN NOW OR I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!”

Me: “Okay, sir, please hold.”

(I hang up the phone and get the grin on my face that my coworkers as well as my manager know means I’m thinking up something good. After a few seconds I pick the phone back up.)

Me: *in an obviously fake Australian accent* “G’Day, sir! How can help you?”

(My manager and coworkers are covering their mouths to hide their laughter.)

Caller: “Finally. I have a question about the computer in your ad.”

(I answered all the customers questions still with an Australian accent, and tried hard not to laugh myself. The customer thanked me and stated that he will be in later to pick up the computer. My manager told me the next day that the caller came in after my shift and asked to speak to the nice Australian man that helped on the phone. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.)

Take A Rain Check On That Price Check

| Manchester, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(On my day off I decide to shop at a store nearby the one I work in. I am having a look when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, love, but this shower head—”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t work here”

(The employees at this store wear red shirts and black pants, whereas I have a brown coat, red trainers, and am texting.)

Customer: *looks me up and down* “Well, no, but you work at [My Store], don’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes, but…”

Customer: “Good. So would it be cheaper for me to buy these here or at your store?”

Me: “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you without being in the other store.”

Customer: “I thought you said you worked there? You should be able to tell me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know the price by memory.”

Customer: “How much is the one I have now, then?”

Me: “I don’t work here. I’d imagine it would cost whatever the price ticket said when you picked it up”

Customer: “Well, you’ve been bloody useless, haven’t you?” *storms off*