Underwear Unaware

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(My place of work is fairly well known in my town and the surrounding area. My boss’s wife occasionally works in the shop.)

Customer: “Oh, you know, I’m great friends with [Boss]. We go way back.”

Boss’s Wife: “Oh, really? That’s funny, because I’ve been washing his underwear for ten years and I have absolutely no idea who you are!”

Data Can Be Fluid

| NJ, USA | Spouses & Partners, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work at an office supply store that also sells technology. I work in the supplies department, and get a call:)

Me: “Office supplies, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I was wondering, do you have hard drive fluid?”

Me: “…hard drive fluid? That’s… not a thing.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! Do you have any?!”

Me: “Let me transfer you to the technology department. They’ll be able to assist you.”

(I transfer him to a coworker who comes to talk to me after.)

Coworker: “Hard drive fluid?”

Me: “Yeah, I have no idea.”

Coworker: “You know that was your boyfriend, right?”

Me: “No…”

(That was not the first, or last, time my boyfriend called to prank the store, where he previously worked, although he never tried it on me again.)

Just Crossed The Online Line

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Thank you for calling [Retail Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *happy* “Hi there! Ugh, I ended up ordering the wrong thing online. Silly me; should have been paying more attention. Can I return this?”

Me: “Yah! Sure, no problem. Can I get the order number from you?”

Customer: “Of course!” *reads it off*

Me: “Perfect. Just one second. I’m sorry; my system shut off on me. We have an online return option. Would you like me to walk you through the steps? It’s really simple. If not just give me. like. 60 seconds to bring my system back up and I would be more than happy to do the return for you.”

Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DO IT ONLINE?! YOU DON’T WANT TO HELP?! FINE!” *hangs-up*