Customer: “This is such a nice store you have here!”
Me: “Why, thank you. We do our best to keep it neat.”
(The customer places one of our reusable bags on the counter to purchase it. The bag she is holding has my store’s name on it, along with motifs associated with our name.)
Customer: “These bags remind me so much of [my store’s name].”
Me: “That’s because—”
Customer: “These bags are so cute, too! I wish I could get one from [my store’s name]…”
(A customer and her adult son come to my register with a case of water. Since some people forget, I explain that it’s the price shown plus five cents per plastic bottle per NY state law.)
Customer: “There’s no tax on water in New York state!”
Me: “It’s a tax on the plastic bottles, not the water.”
Customer: “That’s only for soda.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s all plastic bottles. Since you’re buying 24 bottles, it adds another $1.20.”
Customer’s Son: “I work in a supermarket. There’s no tax.”
Customer: “Exactly! It’s only on soda because of the corn syrup!”
Me: “I honestly don’t know what to tell you, except that I’m 100% positive it’s on the plastic. I can’t remove the tax.”
Customer: “Fine! I won’t buy any, then!”
(A customer has been wandering around our antique store for one-to-two hours. Finally, they come up to the front.)
Customer: “I wish you had tiled floors.”
Coworker: *confused* “Excuse me?”
Customer: “I wish you had tiled floors.”
Me: “Why’s that?”
Customer: “So I would be able to tell how big your furniture is.”
Coworker: “Well, we have a tape measure you can use. Would you like to borrow it?”
Customer: “Well, I guess that would work…”
(As the only opening manager of a large department store, I am in a rush when I have two no-shows and one late arrival. While I’m in the office trying to call some workers in, I notice a customer waiting in line at the returns counter. I hang up the phone and run over to where she’s standing.)
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, it’s been a hectic morning.”
Customer: “You’d better be. I’ve been waiting here for over half an hour!”
Me: *puzzled* “I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s possible.”
Customer: “Yes, it is. I’ve been waiting here!”
Me: “It’s only 8:07 am. We opened at 8:00 am.”
Customer: “Over ten minutes, then!”
(I work as a security guard at a major retailer in the mall. One of my duties is to pre-lock our store at the end of the night. We leave the middle door unlocked for customers to exit while locking the side doors. While finishing my lock up, a customer runs up and tries to exit the store.)
Customer: “You’re not locking me in here! You’re not even closed yet!”
Me: “Sir, we only pre-lock. If you just—”
Customer: “No, you are a worthless, fake mall cop. Did you even graduate high school? Now, let me out!” *keeps pulling on the door*
Me: “Sir, you just need to—”
Customer: “I said, open the door! I want your manager!”
Me: “No problem, sir.” *calls store manager*
Manager: *comes up on the scene* “What seems to be the issue?”
Customer: “He won’t let me out of the building. I am a paying customer and I demand to be let out.”
Manager: *turns to me* “What is the problem?”
Me: “He was trying to pull open a push door.”
Customer: *pushes open the door* “Oh, I erm, uh…” *leaves sheepishly*
