Birthright Is Wrong

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Language & Words

Customer: “Oh! What an interesting accent! Which country are you from?”

Me: “Thank you. I was born here, but my dad is Northumbrian, so I have a bit of his accent.”

Customer: “So when did you arrive in Australia?”

Me: “I never left. I was born here.”

Customer: “No, that’s impossible. I don’t think you were. In fact, I KNOW you weren’t.”

Me: “So, it’s impossible for my mother to have me in Australia with my dad, who migrated from the UK and has a strong accent that I picked up?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I was born here in Australia, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, you keep thinking that.” *winks and leaves the store*

A Real Humdinger Of A Solution

| Bryan, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Top

(Even though I don’t work in this store anymore, I still have friends that do. I am there getting fabric with my daughter. The fabric area is in the middle of the store. We start to hear a bell ringing on the other side of the store. Every 30 seconds the bell rings, and goes on for a good five minutes.)

Employee: *looking at me* “He doesn’t even bother to look up, just keeps hitting it!”

Me: *calling across the store* “He is busy. He will be with you in a moment!”

(The customer just looks at me, and dings the bell more. This time, he doesn’t stop, and just keeps hitting the bell for a solid two minutes. At this point, I’m angry, I have a headache, and the employee is too nice to do anything rude, so I walk across the store, and grab the bell right out from under the customer’s hand.)

Me: *holding the bell* “I said he was busy.”

Customer: “HEY! You took my DINGER!”

Me: *walking away* “Yes. I am now in possession of your ‘dinger.'”

(The employee is trying to hide his laughter as I come walking back with the bell in my hand. The customer is following me and yelling the whole time.)

Customer: “I demand service! I’ve been here before and I want someone to help me!”

Me: You will get help as soon as he is available to help you. He is busy with me right now.”

Employee: “Sir, I’m the only person on this half of the store, everyone else is on break. If you can just wait a moment, when I’m done with her I will come help you!”

Customer: *looking at me* “What is your name?!”

Me: “[My Name]. I’m not sure why that matters to you.”

Customer: “I’m talking to your manager!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Then why did you take my dinger!”

Me: “Because you pissed me off!”

Customer: “I have the right to ding the dinger!”

Me: “Yes, you do! But you abused that right! So I have now banned you. BANNED!”

(He storms off. About 10 minutes later, he comes back with a manager.)

Customer: “HER! See, her! She is the one that took my dinger!”

Manager: “Sir, I do not know this woman. She doesn’t work here.”

Customer: “She was rude to me!”

Manager: “Sir, she has that right.”

Customer: “I demand you fire her!”

Manager: “Sir, seriously, I do not know who she is. She doesn’t work here!”

(The customer stomps away. The manager looks at me and laughs as she starts talking.)

Manager: “He told me he wanted to complain about a customer, and I didn’t believe a customer would complain about another customer! I’m so sorry! He is always so rude, but this is a new low even for him!”

Me: “It’s all good. I did what I know everyone has always wanted to do, and it felt soooo right!”

Used And Useless

| MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(A customer is coming through my line with a series of energy drinks and several bags of chips. He is also holding a game with a receipt. I figure that he bought it in our game department.)

Me: “Oh, [Game]! I have been waiting for that to go on sale. It looks like a good game.”

Customer: “It’s okay. I finished the game in like a day though.”

(I’m puzzled by this, as he is holding the game.)

Me: “Really? Huh.”

Customer: “Yeah. I just tried to return it. It was too short. I can’t believe you guys didn’t take it back.”

Me: “So you bought a game and tried to return it because you finished it?”

Customer: “I was really dissatisfied after I finished it. Do you know where I can take it to return it? Or do I have to file a complaint or something?”

Me: “Well, it’s now a used game… so, [Used Game Store]?”

Customer: “They’ll only give me used game price.”

(We stand there for 10 minutes while he tries to grasp the concept of returns. He leaves in a huff. After, my boss comes over.)

Boss: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “Doesn’t it always?”

Hiss-terical

| WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I am having a pretty good day, with no bad customers. A middle aged customer comes up to my till.)

Customer: “Mhhhhrmrrm.”

Me: “… Okay. Would you like a bag?”

Customer: “Mhhrrrrmrmr!”

Me: “…  Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “Mhhrrrrmrmr.”

Me: *concerned* “Will that be credit or cash?”

Customer: “HISSSSSSS!”

(I jump back in surprise, but act as normally as possible for someone who has been spat on and hissed at.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Mhhhhr!”

Me: *to Boss* “What was that?”

Boss: “Oh, she comes in here a lot. If you say the wrong thing she hisses at you.”

(I transferred off tills very quickly after that!)

Doesn’t Drink, Period

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m second in a queue to pay and the customer in front of me is an older lady wanting a bottle of whiskey. They are kept behind the counter. The owner of the store is a very polite Muslim gentleman in traditional dress. I love this store; it has a little bit of everything and the owner has a great sense of humour. The woman is asking lots of questions about the strength of the whiskey and the prices.)

Customer: “But what about the Glen Moray? What percentage is that?”

Owner: “Its 40.”

Customer: “And the price?”

Owner: “£20.”

Customer: “And the Jameson?”

Owner: “It’s also 40% and £20.”

Customer: “And how much is the Teachers?”

Owner: “£20.”

Customer: “But is it stronger?”

Owner: “No, it’s 40% as well.”

(Each time she asks about a whiskey the owner has to climb up a little ladder to check and he’s not a young gentleman. But he does it smiling all the time.)

Customer: “What’s that there? Canadian Club?”

Owner: “Yes it is also £20 and 40% proof.”

Customer: “I just don’t know. What do they taste like? Which one’s the nicest?”

(I should point out at this point that it became obvious that this lady was not a connoisseur. But was looking for the strongest whiskey to add to the 4 bottles of cheap strong wine she had in her basket.)

Owner: “I’m sorry. I do not drink so I don’t know the taste.”

Customer: *looking disgusted* “How on earth can you sell alcohol when you don’t even drink?”

Me: *taps lady on shoulder* “Well, he sells tampons, too. I hope you don’t expect him to use them!”

(The customer quietly pays and leaves.)

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