Going To Go Over Like A Lead Balloon

| Dallas, TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I am at a sale in a store when I hear this exchange:)

Customer #1: *to Customer #2’s young son* “Aww, look, you’ve got a balloon!”

Customer #2: “Yeah, I stole it from a display.”

Banking On The Go(ing)

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(While shopping I need to use the restroom, after going in I hear the following conversation:)

Other Occupant: “Yeah, I’d like to know why my bank charged me this amount. Huh? Hold on sweetie. I can’t hear you.” *puts phone on speaker* “What was that?”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “I need your account number ,ma’am, before I can look up anything.”

Other Occupant: “Oh, sure, it’s [number].”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “Okay, that charge was an excess transfer fee.”

Other Occupant: “Hold on.”

(The other occupant flushes the toilet.)

Other Occupant: *walking past* “So what is an excess transfer fee?”

Poor Customer Service Agent: “Um…”

(The worst part? She didn’t wash her hands as she left.)

Trying To Pull A Shady Deal

| USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work at company that sells stone to go on houses. All of the stone is outside, and our location is surrounded by trees.)

Customer: “All of this is the same rock?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Everything in this row is the same material.”

Customer: “Why is this side so much darker?! You said it was the same!”

Me: “…ma’am, that side is in the shade.”