Crazy Requests Only Go In One Direction

| UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests

(I work in a shop that sells comics, video games, trading cards, and assorted trinkets related to the culture around them. I work in the back where I test incoming consoles to check for issues. Between the back and the front is a small hole in the wall where I see a customer with a problem.)

Coworker: “That’s gonna be £32.20.”

Customer: “Wait, I have the deal here.”

(The place is running a small deal where you get 10% of the cheapest item if you present a flyer with the deal written on the back. My coworker proceeds to change the price accordingly. I get called to the front while the customer speaks to the owner. After hearing him rant for about five more minutes:)

Customer: “I can’t believe you advertize a deal and not follow up on it. The [Competing Store] down the road would give me all this for free for all the trouble. What can YOU do for me?”

Me: “Give you directions to [Competing Store]?”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

| PA, USA | Funny Names, Liars & Scammers

Me: “Welcome to [Store]! Let me know if there’s any—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have any questions; my brother works at the Ohio location.”

Me: “Uhm, are you sure? We don’t have an Ohio location.”

Customer: “Oh, you don’t know.”

(She brushes me off and starts shopping. When she’s finished shopping, I start to check her out.)

Customer: “I should get the employee discount, because of my brother.”

Me: “Okay. Did he teach you the employee handshake?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We only give the employee discount to people who know the secret handshake.”

Customer: “How rude! Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “How about the owner instead? That would be me. I own both locations, neither are in Ohio.”

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4

Like Sleeping On Heavenly Clouds

| USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Religion

(We sell mattresses. A customer does a lap around the store and stops at our most expensive beds.)

Customer: “THIS BED IS ONLY $89?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, if you qualify for the four-year financing it’s $89 a month.”

Customer: “Well, there’s no point in me financing a bed, Jesus is coming next year. Have a nice day”

Me: “…”