There Is No Calm Before The Storm

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(It is currently late at night, with a winter storm expected to come the following morning. I am running customer service when the phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hello, [Store] [Location] customer service desk. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d just like to let you know that tomorrow morning is going to horrible and that all of the young people won’t be coming in. However, all of the elderly people that work will be, because they are the ones who really need the money. Bye!”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: *click*

(I put the phone back on the receiver and relay the comment to a manager.)

Manager: “Oh my God, it’s not even tomorrow yet and they are ALREADY complaining!”

Planning Your Trip Is A Fine Art

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre

(I am working for an interior decorating company, and we are clearing out our inventory of framed art for the season. I load up the vehicle and hit a road full of office complexes to see if anyone wants the art wholesale for the office or home or whatnot. I come to a large office full of cubicles and some employees buy a few. The final person I talk to appears to be the head boss man of the company. I poke my head into his office.)

Me: “Morning, sir.”

(I wave.)

Boss: “What do you want?”

Me: “Well, this seems a bit random, but my company’s clearing out a bunch of nice framed art wholesale, and we were wondering if you’d like anything for your office or home?”

(He looks at me VERY sternly for what seems like a whole minute of angry silence.)

Boss: “What do you have that goes good with acid?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Boss: “You know; stuff that looks neat while you’re on acid.”

Me: “Umm, we have some Van Gogh, Dali, and some new art from David Garibaldi.”

Boss: “Bring em in!”

(I go outside and haul in probably a dozen pieces of art and lay them along the wall in front of his desk so he can see them. Another painfully quiet moment goes by while he looks them over.)

Boss: “I’ll take the whole lot! You take credit right?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Would you like any of these hung up?”

Boss: “Yeah, put that trippy-a** clock one over there.”

(Possibly one of the more memorable customers in my two years with that company.)

The Other Shoe Never Dropped

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

Customer: “Shoes.”

Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

Customer: “WHAT?”

(The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 6

| MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work the customer service and return desk and am in the process of returning several items of clothing for a customer because they did not fit her children. Before I can finish the transaction and hand her back her money, she hands me a coupon.)

Customer: “When I bought these items, the cashier didn’t scan my coupon. Can you just do it now?”

Me: “… I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Just take this coupon off during the return for me. I wanted to use it.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a return transaction, I can’t use a coupon on a return.”

Customer: “Then return my items and resell them to me with the coupon!”

Me: “So you want me to return your items, resell them to you with your coupon, and then return them a second time?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Knowing that if I resell you the items with the coupon, you will receive less money back on the second return because of it?

Customer: “Yes!”

(We had to have a manager explain to her that it wasn’t worth it to do all that just for a coupon.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 5
Refunder Blunder, Part 4
Refunder Blunder, Part 3

Taking Truth Down To The Wire

| WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(When our store first started using spiderwire (an alarmed wire wrapped around packaging) we weren’t allowed to tell people what is was, for whatever reason. When asked, I would just say it is a security device. I am pressed on how it works by one belligerent customer:)

Me: “This is a sophisticated anti-theft system we’ve just invested in. If one leaves the store it will automatically engage the alarm and trigger the GPS tracking. We then relay the information to the police. It’s so we can not only stop theft, but bust thieves in their own homes.”

(The customer’s mouth was open with shock.)

Customer: “I didn’t realize [Store] was capable of that!”

(He then set his item wrapped in wire down slowly and literally ran out of the store.)

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