Not The Brightest Light In The Amazon

| PA, USA | Right | November 1, 2016

Me: “Thank you for calling; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I was hoping you could tell me if a light I purchased will mount with this hardware.”

Me: “Okay, can I have an order number or phone number to look up your purchase?”

Customer: “I didn’t buy it from you.”

Me: “Okay… Do you have a part number so I can look it up for you?”

Customer: “No. I got it on Amazon.”

Me: “Do you have an part number for the mounting hardware? I can look that up for you.”

Customer: “You don’t sell it. And it didn’t tell me on Amazon.”

Me: “So… you purchased a light we don’t sell and a mounting kit we don’t sell and you want to know if those two objects will fit together?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Your best bet with that would be to contact Amazon, sir.”

Customer: “I didn’t even think of that. Do you have their number?”

Me: “…”

Wishing The Next Customer Was Mute

| UK | Working | November 1, 2016

(I’m serving a customer who is deaf, and as I can’t communicate through BSL, I simply process the transaction in silence and upon handing her the receipt we simply smile and wave each other goodbye.)

Colleague: “What a rude b****! She didn’t say one word to you and you greeted her so nicely.”

Me: “She’s deaf…”

Colleague: “How do you know?”

(I present the card the customer handed to me which apologises for the lack of communication and explains why.)

Colleague: “I suppose that was nice, but why couldn’t she just say it?”

Me: “I assume she’s either been deaf from birth or an early age, so she’s never heard anyone speak.”

Colleague: “So?”

Me: “Well it’s difficult to learn a vocal language when you have no idea what it’s meant to sound like.”

Colleague: “NO, IT ISN’T. LOADS OF DEAF PEOPLE DO IT. THEY SOUND R*****ED, BUT AT LEAST THEY TRY.” *storms off *

Me: *speechless*

Hallaaaargh-ween!

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | October 31, 2016

(As I’m working, a customer approaches and asks if I can help him find pirate-themed clothes for his granddaughter. He shows me some pictures, and I get the idea that he really likes pirates.)

Customer: “You probably think I’m weird. You probably don’t even know that September 19th is…”

Me: “Talk Like a Pirate Day?”

Customer: “Yes! Okay, we’re buddies now.”

(He hugged me, and wandered off towards our Halloween supplies. A bit odd, but I was smiling for the rest of the day!)

This Trick Works A Treat

| Lynnwood, WA, USA | Right | October 29, 2016

(I work at a large retail store. After Halloween, Halloween decor, costumes, and candies are marked down, decor at 50% and candy at 30% respectively. I have stayed late to cover for a call out.)

Me: “Hey, did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, perfectly.”

(I proceed to ring up the items in the basket all of which are Halloween markdowns.)

Me: “Okay that will be $19.67.”

Customer: “Wait, those LED trees were supposed to be 50% off at the register.”

(I look and the original price is thirteen dollars and they are marked down in the system to $6.50.)

Me: “Yes. They are 50% off.”

Customer: “No! they were supposed to be 50% off at the register!”

Me: “Well, it is 50% off.”

Customer: “If they aren’t 50% at the register then we don’t want them.”

(Trying not to roll my eyes I void the items and put them in the go back bin.)

Me: “Okay, the total is 12 dollars.”

Customer: “The candy was 30% off at the register!”

(I look at the line growing behind them and price check every candy and find that yes, they all are 30% off. I offer to give them a dollar off just to get them out of my hair and they refuse, wanting the 30% off, so I call my manager.)

Manager: “Hey, what’s the problem?”

(They explain the issue and like me she checks and finds everything in order.)

Customer: “But it’s 30% off at the register.”

Manager: *sounding more than a little annoyed at this point* “If I give you five dollars off then would you be happy?”

Customer: “Hmmm, I guess.”

Will Score An ‘F’ (Word) In Your Work-Review

| KS, USA | Working | October 26, 2016

(I get a call from a manager asking about a customer.)

Manager: “I heard you were rude to a customer.”

Me: “No, I very politely told her to go f*** herself.”

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