Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

At Least She’s Being Honest

, , | Right | March 24, 2008

(A lady comes in with a bag of shirts.)

Lady: “I need to return these.”

Me: “Sorry we can’t take those back, they’re opened…”

Lady: “Why the h*** not!?”

Me: “You can only return the shirts if they’re unopened. It’s the store policy.”

Lady: “Bull-s***, you’re trying to rip me off! You’re supposed to take these back; they don’t fit my husband!”

Me: “If you read the policy you would know you couldn’t bring them back, ma’am.”

Lady: “What store policy?!”

(I point to the store policy above and behind me on a red sign in big white letters. The lady snatches the bag of shirts and starts stomping off. My manager, who was watching the whole time, finally says something.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, next time you should read the policy–”

Lady: *cuts off my manager* “I DON’T F**KING READ!!”

Why Dracula No Longer Bites Crackheads

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2008

(A very old man with a Dracula Transylvania accent comes into the store. I am standing in an aisle restocking something, easily spotted by anyone entering the store.)

Dracula: “HO HO HO!” *it’s summer btw* “Where is everybody? All hands on deck! Can’t I get some f**king help here?!”

Me bewildered: “Uhm, I’m right here. What can I help you with sir?”

Dracula: “I need new razor blades.”

Me: “Okay, they are right over here.” *leads him to display* “What kind of razor do you have?”

Dracula: “I don’t know! Why does that matter? How am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “Well, there are different blades for each kind of razor. If you can look through the razors we have and show me what it looks like, I’ll get you fixed up.”

(Dracula finds his razor and I find his blades.)

Me: “Do you want the four-count or the eight-count? The eight-count costs a bit more.”

Dracula: “Give me the eight-count! You think I want to come back here every day? No one works here!”

(I get the blades for him and start heading toward the checkout. He stops me and snatches the blades from me.)

Dracula: “I need to see them first to make sure they’re right! *starts to open them*

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t just open things. We matched them up to your razor. I’m sure they are right.”

Dracula: *opens them anyway* “They’re right!”

(He hands them to me and again I move toward the checkout. Again, he stops me.)

Dracula: “What are you doing? Those are open. I’m not buying them!”

Me: “Sir, you were the one to open them after I clearly told you not to. So you are buying these. Next time, don’t open things you don’t want.”

(He grabs another box of the shelf and snatches the open box from me. He tosses it onto a lower shelf and says…)

Dracula: “You need a display anyway! You should have a display so people know what they are buying!”

Me: “Sir, I’m fairly certain that our customers with children would not appreciate an open razor blade display!”

(I snatch them up and sell him the unopened box; at this point, I just wanted him out of the store. We dealt with Dracula twice more.)


This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

Read the next Even-Stranger-Customers roundup story!

Read the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

Oh, What’s A Little Third Degree Burn Anyway

, , , | Right | March 21, 2008

(In high school I worked at a do-it-yourself pottery painting store. Customers would purchase a blank piece of pottery and paint it with colored glazes, and we would fire the finished pieces overnight in kilns. Pick-up time for pieces is 6:30 pm. A customer shows up at 10 am wanting her piece.)

Customer: “Yeah, I painted something yesterday and I want to pick it up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but your piece is still in the kiln. I can probably have it to you by 4 if you can’t wait until 6:30.”

Customer: “Why can’t I have it now?”

Me: “Because it’s still in the kiln, and it needs to finish baking and cool for several hours before I can take it out.”

Customer: “But can’t you just get mine out now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the kiln is running at 1600 degrees and is locked shut. Even if I could get it open and get your piece out without killing myself, the piece would shatter from cooling too fast.”

Customer: “Can’t you just get it out?”

Me: *facepalm*


This story is part of our Need For Hazard Pay roundup!

Read the next Need For Hazard Pay roundup story!

Read the Need For Hazard Pay roundup!


This story is part of our “Not Getting Art” Roundup!

Read the next “Not Getting Art” story!

Read the “Not Getting Art” roundup!

Captain Obvious’ Evil Twin

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2008

(My coworker is approached at the till by a woman, somewhere in her 40s.)

Customer: “How long does your one-hour service take?”

(My coworker looks at me, and without missing a beat…)

Me: “A week.”

Customer: “Oh, never mind then.” *walks off*

(The coworker and I look at each other and start to laugh.)


This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

Illogical Conclusions

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2008

(One day a man broke into our staff-only area and stole mine and my colleague’s purses and phones. This exchange took place about two minutes after I disturbed the burglar and he ran past me. I was in a bad state of shock.)

Customer: “What’s happened?”

Me: “Someone has just broken into upstairs and stolen our purses and mobiles.”

Customer: “Well, you know why that is don’t you? It’s because your prices are so high!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well if your prices weren’t so high then people wouldn’t need to do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry… you believe that because you think our stock is expensive that it gave someone the right to steal my personal possessions?”

(The customer then looked around her and noticed the rest of the queue staring at her in disbelief.)

Customer: “Well it’s not that I think… I mean… some might say… I…”

(She stuttered incoherently for a while and then paid for her items in silence.)

Next Customer: “What a complete fool! Are you alright, dear?”


This story is part of the Wrong But Committed Customers roundup!

Read the next Wrong But Committed Customers roundup story!

Read the Wrong But Committed Customers roundup!