Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Illogical Conclusions

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2008

(One day a man broke into our staff-only area and stole mine and my colleague’s purses and phones. This exchange took place about two minutes after I disturbed the burglar and he ran past me. I was in a bad state of shock.)

Customer: “What’s happened?”

Me: “Someone has just broken into upstairs and stolen our purses and mobiles.”

Customer: “Well, you know why that is don’t you? It’s because your prices are so high!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well if your prices weren’t so high then people wouldn’t need to do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry… you believe that because you think our stock is expensive that it gave someone the right to steal my personal possessions?”

(The customer then looked around her and noticed the rest of the queue staring at her in disbelief.)

Customer: “Well it’s not that I think… I mean… some might say… I…”

(She stuttered incoherently for a while and then paid for her items in silence.)

Next Customer: “What a complete fool! Are you alright, dear?”


This story is part of the Wrong But Committed Customers roundup!

Read the next Wrong But Committed Customers roundup story!

Read the Wrong But Committed Customers roundup!

Mission: Impossible, Part 2

, , | Right | March 16, 2008

(An elderly man comes into the store and buys two cigars, I place them in a bag and try to hand him his receipt.)

Elderly Man: “I don’t want that.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’ll just throw it away for you.”

Elderly Man: “Don’t do that I need it!”

Me: “Here you are then.” *trying to hand it back*

Elderly Man: “What am I suppose to do with it?!”

Me: “You said that you needed it.”

Elderly Man: “I do! But where in the h*** am I supposed to put it!”

Me: “Your wallet or your pocket, maybe?”

Elderly Man: “It will get mixed up with everything else and I’ll have to dig it out and throw it away when I get home! I don’t want it!”

Me: “So you want me to throw it away for you?”

Elderly Man: “No, I need it to show my wife!”

Me: *confused* “Do you want it in your bag?”

Elderly Man: “Well that’s what it’s for, isn’t it–to carry things? What’s wrong with you trying to hand someone a receipt? Where the h*** would they put it?!”

(I placed his receipt in his bag and he left muttering about me. He became a regular after that, and never again did I hand him a receipt.)

Related:
Mission: Impossible

Putting The Me In Blame

, , , | Right | March 16, 2008

(I rang up a customer and about ten minutes later, the woman comes back in, cuts in front of the rest of the line and begins yelling at me.)

Customer: “You never gave me my credit card back! You stole it!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not steal your credit card. I gave it back to you.”

Customer: “No you didn’t! I know you stole it! I demand my credit card back!”

(This goes on for ten minutes as I continue ringing up other customers, all of them staring at the insane woman screaming at me.)

Customer: “I looked everywhere and I cannot find my credit card! I know you have it!”

(She opens her wallet to show me that her credit card is missing. I spot the credit card in her wallet.)

Me: “Is your credit card a light-blue visa?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “…It’s in your wallet, right there.”

(She storms out with an attitude and doesn’t even apologize.)


This story is part of the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!


This story is part of the Very Wrong Customers roundup!

Read the next Very Wrong Customers roundup story!

Read the Very Wrong Customers roundup!

Oooh, A Different Top

, , , | Right | March 15, 2008

(The company was running a coupon special for 20% off one item ONE COUPON PER PERSON. This one heavily made-up woman caused problems at every coupon sale I ever worked there and this time was no different. She made one purchase and then this happened.)

Woman: “How many of these can I use?”

Me: “It’s one per person, so no more today, but there is another coupon for tomorrow so you can come back and use one then.”

Woman: “What if I send my husband in? Can he use one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. He is a different person so that’s fine.”

Woman: “Well, how many can he use?”

Me: “One. It’s one per person.”

Woman: “What if I buy something else?”

Me: “Well you can buy whatever you want, but you can’t use another coupon. It’s one person for the whole day, not one per transaction.”

Woman: “What if I leave and come back in?”

Me: “You’re still the same person.”

Woman: “What do you mean? I’ll have left and come back.”

Me: “Well our doors are not equipped to change your genetic make-up upon entry, so you would still be the same person.”

(The woman stormed off, then returned 20 minutes later wearing a different top. For some reason, she decided to come through my lane again. I refused to let her use it, so she screamed at me and my manager. Eventually, she just wadded up the coupon, hit my manager in the face with it, and ran off cursing…only to return the next morning and repeat the scenario.)


This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

Read the next Confused-By-Coupons roundup story!

Read the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

He Wants The Internets

, , , | Right | March 14, 2008

Me: “Hey, my name is [My Name]; what can I do for you?”

Old Man: “My great-grandson was telling me about this really neat thing on his computer. I would like to buy it.”

Me: “So your nephew has this ‘thing’… what does it do?”

Old Man: “Well, he was showing me videos and we played a few puzzles. I was also able to check my lottery numbers.”

Me: “Oh, the Internet… You’re just looking to hook up the Internet in your house?”

Old Man: “Yes, I would like to buy the Internet.”

Me: “Um, well, you don’t purchase the actual Internet. It’s kinda like paying your phone bill. You pay them and they give you phone services.”

Old Man: “I know how a telephone works! Would you like to make some commission on this Internet sale or should I take my business elsewhere?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t think you understand. You need to call [list of providers], and they will come to hook up your Internet. It’s not a physical thing.”

Old Man: “I am writing to the Better Business Bureau and reporting this incident to your manager. I know what the internet is; Walmart has it! I’m going to take my purchase to them!”

Retail:
He Wants The Google
She Uses The Google