(I work in a girly clothing store. My regional manager bullies me because I’m not “pretty” the way other girls who work there are, and has tried to get me to quit through numerous avenues of bullying tactics. Today, she’s told me she’s going to transfer me to a store three hours away, in another attempt to get me to quit. I’m really upset but holding it together outwardly.)

Elderly Customer: “Hello dear, can I say something to you?”

Me: “Of course!”

Elderly Customer: “I really love that thing.” *points to my lip ring* “It’s just wonderful. You young people, I love the way you have the piercings and the tattoos. I would have done the same if I could have, at your age.”

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

Elderly Customer: “I’m 89 years old, you know! Perhaps I still have time to get one of those piercings.”

Me: *laughing* “You’re never too old to do what makes you happy!”

(At this point, the awful manager comes and hovers nearby, staring at me and clearing her throat. It’s clear she thinks I’m wasting time with someone who won’t spend money in the store… never mind the fact there’s only one other person in there.)

Nasty Manager: “[My name], it’s time for you to actually do some work now.”

Elderly Customer: “Miss, she’s serving me right now. I’ll thank you to mind your own business.”

(I’m speechless, almost teary at having someone stand up for me on such a bad day.)

Elderly Customer: “Well, thank you for talking to me. I’m obviously too old for this shop, but I do so love to keep in touch with you young ones. I’m going to buy something, just to shut that nasty woman up. I’ve been watching how she speaks with you.”

(She leaves, and in the minute or two we spoke, has completely made my day. The best part is that my awful manager overheard the whole thing. A few weeks later, I received a big payout for her attempt to bully and unfairly dismiss me—enough to quit and find a new job. My awful manager lost hers!)

(I’m taking a break in the staff room with some coworkers. Note: I’m a lesbian.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, man, you know who’d I go gay for? Anderson Cooper.”

Coworker #2: “Yeeees. He is a silver fox.”

Coworker #3: “I’d go gay for Neil Patrick Harris in a heartbeat.”

Coworker #1: “Hey, [my name], who would you go gay for?”

Me: *laughs* “Well, if I had to go straight, I think I’d go for Anderson Cooper, too.”

Coworker #2: “Um, he asked who you’d go gay for.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t have to go gay for anyone. I’m already there.”

(Coworker #2 stares blankly at me for a bit until Coworker #1 speaks up.)

Coworker #1: “Dude, she’s a lesbian! Let her go straight for someone! Jesus!”

(I am helping pack an old lady customer’s gift-wrapping paper into the long bags designed for them.)

Me: “So, that’s six rolls of wrapping paper for £2. The plastic bags are a bit thin, so I may have to put it in two bags of three.”

Customer: “No, no, no, that won’t do. Just squeeze it into one; it will be fine.”

(The wrapping paper rolls are small, so four or five will just fit in one plastic bag. The handles, however, fit so tightly over the paper they cannot be held properly.)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got five in there but they are rather tight; another one in there may tear it.”

Customer: *creepy voice* “That’s what she said…”

(The whole shop is overcome by a stunned silence. My two colleagues next to me have stopped working, now with their jaws on the floor.)

Customer: “Speaking of which; shove it in there!”

(I managed to get the last roll in there, with it bent out of shape. She leaves with a laugh almost like a witch’s cackle, with the whole shop in silence.)

Me: *sigh* “Next customer, please…”

(I work as a cashier in a charity store. All of our merchandise is donated, so we have no idea what items we will have for sale until they are in the store.)

Customer: “Do you have a blender?”

Me: “No, unfortunately we do not have any right now.”

Customer: “Okay, do you know when you will have some?”

Me: “You know all of our merchandise is donated right?”

Customer: “Yes, so when will have a have some blenders?”

Me: “Well, I suppose that would be when someone within the community realizes they have a blender they don’t need, and brings it to us.”

Customer: “Okay, so when will that be?”

(I work in the computing department. We’re pushed to always get protection plans. I have sold a customer a laptop.)

Me: “Well, just so you know, we do offer [protection plan]. If anything bad happens to the laptop—”

Customer: “What? What do you mean by something bad?

Me: “Unfortunately, bad things can happen to computers. There are hundreds of computers in the back that have been destroyed in many different ways. If you get a protection plan, you can get the computer replaced if something bad happens to it on accident.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? Why are you wishing bad luck on me?”

Me: “Sir, I wasn’t wishing bad luck on you. I was just offering you an avenue to make sure your investment is protected.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be threatening me with bad luck! You should wish me good luck. This is bad; this is very bad right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not trying to wish you bad luck; I’m just recommending something that many of our customers—”

Customer: “No, no! This is very bad. You’re wishing bad things to happen to me. I tell you what; I am going to go home, and pray to God that he does bad things to you!”