(I am working, when my husband and kids drop by to bring me some food and a drink. As they walk in, a young man and his girlfriend walk in behind them. Being that they are customers, and my hubby and kids will just browse, I address the customers first.)

Me: “Hi guys! Anything I can help you with?”

(They shake their heads no, and start looking at the racks. I turn my attention to my kids and speak quite loudly.)

Me: “Where’s my kiss?”

(The young man’s head swiftly turns to look at me and goes red; the girlfriend is glaring at me.)

Me: “My kids! I meant my kids!”

(I am 19, and my sister is 9. I need to get something from the grocery store where I work, and I take her with me. The store is pretty empty, and one of my coworkers yells over to me about a recent shoplifter.)

Coworker: “Yeah, they stole a bunch of condoms!”

Sister: *to me* “Why would people steal ketchup and mustard?”

(I work nights at an adult retail store with a staff of four: myself, the store manager, the assistant manager, and a part-time employee, who is notoriously flakey. I get to work for my night shift on Monday, to find the store manager really worked up.)

Manager: “Oh, you will never believe what [Coworker] did last night.”

Me: “Uh-oh.”

Manager: “He called me, AT CLOSING AT 10 pm, to tell me that he couldn’t find his keys, and could I come up and lock the store for him.”

Me: “But he keeps his keys on a lanyard, and didn’t he have them when he got in?”

Manager: “Yes, because at 8 pm he locked up to grab dinner. I have torn this place apart today looking for them; I even went through the TRASH. They are not in the store, and he swears he checked all his clothes and bags and he doesn’t have them, which means that he probably left them IN THE DOOR when he got back, and they’re gone. Keep an eye out for them, but I doubt you’re going to find them.”

(About two hours after the manager leaves, my coworker comes in with a friend.)

Coworker: “Hey, I think I left my phone and charger here last night; can I take a look for them?”

Me: “Seriously? [Manager] spent all day tearing this place apart looking for your keys. If your phone were here, he would’ve found it.”

Coworker: “Oh. I don’t know where else it could BE!”

Me: “Did you check your bags from last night?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I checked every pocket in my clothes and the bags; my phone’s not there and my keys aren’t there. Oh well, have a good night.”

(Two days later, the assistant manager tells me that [Coworker] had found both his keys and his phone in the pockets of the jacket he’d worn to work on Sunday!)

(I work as a cashier at a concession stand during high school football games. A young girl and her father walk up to my register.)

Me: *to the father* “Just the cookies for you?”

(The father looks at his daughter and nods his head at her.)

Young Girl: “Yes, please, and I’m paying for them, too!”

Me: “Okay, that’s $1.25, please.”

(The young girl takes out her little change purse and counts out exactly $1.25, then pauses and pulls out two pennies.)

Young Girl: “That’s $1.25, and then a tip for you because you were so nice!”

(The young girl then turns to her father.)

Young Girl: “Mommy says you should tip people when they’re nice to you, and are good at their job.”

Me: “Thank you so much! Have a good night and enjoy your cookies!”

Young Girl: “You’re welcome! Thank YOU for being so nice and smiley!”

(The girl and her father came through my line again later on that evening and, once again, I earned another two-cent tip. We don’t normally take tips in that position, but it absolutely made my night!)

(At my store, we have to do two waste checks on the food every day. Every item with today’s date is booked and reduced in price, and then later on a second person checks it in case anything was missed. At the end of the day, any remaining waste is taken off the shelves once the store shuts at 6 pm. I’m called into the manager’s office.)

Manager: “You left waste on the shelf.”

Me: “Oh, when?”

Manager: “Last Tuesday. There were some reduced cakes left on the shelf on Wednesday morning. You have to take off the reductions at the end of the day!”

Me: “…last Tuesday? But I finished work at 4 pm. I wasn’t even in town when the store shut.”

Manager: “But you signed for first check!”

Me: “I did reduce them, yes, but I left two hours before the store shut.”

Manager: “Oh… right, but I’ve already written the paperwork up, so I’ll regard this as an informal warning. You should tell you’re your colleague who did the second check to take the waste away. Now get back to work!”