(I work in a party store. I am serving an eight-year-old customer.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Can I see your Christmas decorations? I need to get special Christmas decorations.”

Me: “Sure you can. Is there something special you want to get, little guy?”

Eight-Year-Old: “I want to get a pretty tree with ornaments, and stockings, and presents, and Christmas lights! It’s for my neighbor.”

Me: “That’s a lot to get for your neighbor, sweetheart. Why do you need all of that?”

Eight-Year-Old: “Their daddy died. They don’t have Christmas this year, so I wanted to give it to them. I even got $100 from my mom to do it.”

Me: *on the verge of tears* “That’s very generous of you. Tell you what, let’s pick out some stockings and a tree. Then I’ll talk to my manager to see what we can do about some toys. How many kids does your neighbor have?”

Eight-Year-Old: “Three. [Name] is my best friend. I’m going to give him my presents for Christmas. I asked Santa to bring him an XBox, too, but Santa might be busy. So I’m going to give him my XBox.”

Me: “I’m sure, in this case, Santa will be listening very hard.”

(I help him pick out some special decorations and a tree. I ask my manager what we can do. Apparently, the boy’s mother has told my manager about the neighbor’s husband having passed away a few weeks ago in a bad accident, leaving the wife to support their family. We do a special discount of 50% off everything. We even donate some bulk bags of toys and stockings. By this time, we’re trying not to cry. On their way out, the mother thanks us.)

Mother: “He doesn’t know it, but both he and his best friend are getting an XBox for Christmas. He’s only eight and he wanted to give them everything. He even demanded we have them over for Christmas day. He is adamant they’re going to have a Christmas, no matter what.”

(It is Christmas Eve. The store is closing early because of the holiday. The people on the sales floor have herded the last shoppers to the registers. The manager is standing by the door with his keys, and at 2 pm on the dot he locks the entrance door. A customer RACES up and gets inside by ducking through the cart door.)

Manager: “Sir, we are closed.”

Customer: “I’m inside the store! You have to let me shop!” *starts to walk around the manager*

Manager: *sidesteps to stay in front of the customer* “No. I do not. The store is closed, the doors are locked, there is no one on the sales floor to help you, and the registers will be shut down remotely by corporate in less than fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “Tomorrow’s Christmas. I need to buy presents for my family! The customer is always right!”

Security: *right behind the manager, grinning* “We have you on camera forcing your way into a closed store. It would make my day if you tried something. I wouldn’t even mind spending Christmas Eve at the police station.”

Manager: “We are closed. There are no customers in the store when we are closed.”

(The manager and guard stand shoulder to shoulder and walk towards the man, forcing him to back out the exit door. The customers in line are entertained enough to be relaxed instead of stressed, and we cashiers finish the shift in a GREAT mood. Best Christmas Eve shift, EVER.)

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(We have a regular who always comes in with his pet parrot. As our regular shops, the parrot sits on his shoulder and quietly chatters to himself. Since the bird is very well-behaved and the employees adore him, we allow the customer to do this. It also makes him pretty popular and gets a lot of questions.)

Me: “Oh, good afternoon, [Regular Customer]! Hi, [Bird’s Name]! Is this all today?”

Regular Customer: “Yup. That’s it!”

(While I scan, the customer behind the regular is staring intently at his bird.)

Other Customer: “Excuse me… Is that thing on your shoulder real?”

(Before either of us can answer, the parrot suddenly whirls around and leans into the other customer’s face.)

Parrot: “SQUAAAAAAWK!”

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

(I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

(It’s two weeks to Christmas, and our tea company has implemented a country-wide “Advent calendar” to motivate our staff and get us feeling festive. Each day, we get a sales challenge and a quiz question to answer. The first store to answer correctly is the winner. Two of my colleagues and I are between transactions at the till.)

Colleague #1: “Who are the four ghosts in A Christmas Carol?”

Me: “Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Future, and Jacob Marley.”

Colleague #1: “Jacob Marley? Who’s that?”

Me: “He’s Ebeneezer Scrooge’s old business partner.”

Colleague #2: *who hasn’t really been listening* “What are you talking about?”

Me: “It’s the Advent question of the day. Who are the four ghosts in A Christmas Carol? Past, Present, Future, and—”

Colleague #2: “Oh, yeah, and Bob Marley!”

This story is part of the Christmas In The Workplace roundup!

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