(I am working as a cashier during the holiday rush. One of my jobs is to ask each customer if they would like a gift card or gift receipts with their purchase. I have just finished ringing up a woman and have moved on to her boyfriend, who only has one item: pants, clearly for himself.)

Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

Customer: “Good. You?”

Me: “Good thanks. Would you like any gift cards or gift re—”

Customer: “No, man. I’m good. Just ring me up.”

(I nod and continue the transaction. I tell him the total. He slides his card and I press the button that prints the receipt, also clearing the transaction from on screen.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt.”

Customer: “Can I get a gift receipt?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s already too late.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Well, sir, since you already confirmed the transaction and it has gone through the system, you would have to return the item and re-buy it to allow me to get to the gift receipt option.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? What happens if the pants don’t fit and I need to return them?”

Me: “We do offer a 30-day return policy. All you need is the original receipt, which I just gave you.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! What happens if it takes me longer than thirty days to decide if they fit?”

(Before the customer gets anymore worked up, his girlfriend jumps in.)

Girlfriend: “Don’t worry about it, honey. He asked you at the beginning of the transaction if you wanted a gift receipt. You said no. Now you have to deal with it. Now let’s go before you gotta walk out of this store single.”

(A customer places a book at my register to check out.)

Me: “Did you find everything alright today?”

Customer: “I did! I’ve been waiting to get this book for a long time. Wait a moment… Oh, no. I think I left my coupon at home.”

Me: “What a shame! How much was your coupon for?”

Customer: “It was a special coupon for 25 percent off any item.”

Me: “Well, you’re in luck! I happen to have an extra coupon under my register. It’s for 20 percent off any item.”

Customer: “But mine was for 25 percent. Your coupon won’t save me as much money.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, take a look at the price tag on the book. It’s only $10. With your coupon, the price would drop to $7.50, and with mine the price would be $8.00. It’s only a fifty-cent difference.”

Customer: “But my coupon would save me more money! Can you hold the book for me? I’m going to go home and get my coupon.”

Me: “Where do you live?”

(The woman gives me an address on the other side of town, probably a 40-minute round trip at least.)

Me: “Are you sure you want to drive all the way home? The time and gas alone are probably worth more than the 50 cents you’d save with your coupon. Why don’t you just use this 20 percent off right now?”

Customer: “No. My coupon would save me more money than your coupon would.”

(She leaves. An hour later, she’s back with her coupon.)

Customer: *smiling* “Look how much money I just saved!”

(My family lives in a predominantly Caucasian town. We are half-Korean and half-Caucasian, but we were born in the US. While shopping with my sister, we are approached by an elderly lady and her younger friend.)

Elderly Customer: “Where are the cotton balls?”

Me: “I do not work for the store, but my sister and I can walk you to the display of cotton balls.”

Elderly Customer: “When did you come to the country? Your English is so good!”

(I answer with a smile, since I get asked this all the time.)

Me: “Well, actually, we were both born and raised here in this very town. Our father met our mother while he was stationed in Korea for the Air Force. We’re first-generation American on our mother’s side, but our father is from Kansas. Our family actually owns a ‘century farm’ there.”

(The elderly customer looks puzzled and her friend offers us an apology)

Customer’s Friend: “Sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with her today.”

My Sister: “It’s okay. Many people assume we aren’t American. We just correct them. It’s the nice thing to do.”

Elderly Customer: “You people are always so nice! Orientals are the nicest people, aren’t they? And you have such pretty skin and hair, too. Isn’t Chinese food the best? Those people are so nice at the restaurant, but you must know them since they’re Oriental, too!”

Customer’s Friend: *turning red* “They said they are American and they aren’t even Chinese!” *to us* “I am so sorry about all of this! Thank you for helping us find the cotton balls.”

(My sister and I smile at her and bid them both a nice day. As they walk away, the elderly customer turns back, smiles at us, and yells out with her hands open:)

Elderly Customer: “Welcome to America!”

(While the store manager is away on vacation, the owner of the group of stores is sitting at his desk, which is on a platform that gives complete views of the store. In the past, my fellow counter rep and I have noticed the store manager and a few customers making some odd comings and goings to an always-locked store room. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need one of those linear amplifiers from the back room. I get ‘[Store Manager]’s price.'”

(The owner gets up, comes down to our area and says:)

Owner: “Tell me more about ‘[Store Manager]’s price.'”

(The store manager’s return from vacation was awe-inspiring to watch.)

(Because of the fact the store I work in is located in another store, when we clock out and go to leave we have to go through the main store for a bag check. I’ve stopped carrying a bag partly because of this, and partly because I recently got work pants that have pockets so I can carry everything I need. I’ve just clocked out and started to leave the store when an employee approaches me.)

Employee: “You have to do a bag check.”

Me: “But I don’t have a bag.”

Employee: “If you don’t do the bag check, I’m calling security.”

Me: “How can I do a bag check if I don’t have a bag?”

Employee: *into a walkie talkie* “I have a girl from [My Store] who is refusing to do a bag check.”

Me: *hoping that whoever’s on the other end can hear me* “I don’t have a bag to check!”

Employee: “You just stay here. Security’s on its way.”

(The next five minutes pass, during which I’m trying to explain that it’s impossible for me to have a bag check seeing as I don’t have a bag. Security shows up and by this point I’m having an anxiety attack.)

Security: “Why aren’t you getting your bag checked?”

Me: “I don’t have a bag! All I have in my pockets are my phone, wallet, and keys. I don’t carry a bag when I have pockets!”

Security: *stares at me a moment while this processes, then turns to the employee* “How the f*** is someone gonna check something they don’t have!? Get the f*** outta here and go back to [department].” *turns back to me* “Sorry. This is the third time she’s done this to someone. You okay?”

(I end up needing to sit in the break room until my anxiety attack subsided. Even after that the security guard had to walk me to the door to keep the employee from harassing me again. When I showed up for my next shift later that week, I heard she’d been fired for harassing customers and employees alike if they didn’t leave with any purchases, regardless of whether the employees had just been on shift or not!)