(I’m standing in line waiting at the check-out of a popular department store. There’s no one behind me, and I’m not in a particular hurry. The woman in front of me is buying a single item, for which she has a coupon.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the coupon won’t scan. Did you—”

Customer: “What do you mean it won’t scan?”

Cashier: “Well, I see that this coupon is for [Brand Name item] and you’re trying to purchase [generic version of the same item]. The coupon only—”

Customer: “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

Cashier: “Well, no. The coupon only—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Just scan the coupon!”

Cashier: “I’m terribly sorry, but the coupon won’t—”

Customer: “I came here because I had that coupon. Now put the discount on!”

(Since it seems like we might be here all day, and I know that trying to explain her mistake won’t get anywhere, I interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, how much is the coupon worth?”

Customer: “It’s for two dollars. But—”

Me: “If I give you two dollars, will you pay and take your item?”

Customer: *insulted tone* “No! It’s the principle of the matter!”

(I wound up waiting another five minutes while they called over the manager, and no, she did not get her discount)

(We have a sale on just after Christmas. All stock is 40% off but IT gets it wrong and discount items even more. Coworkers go mad after closing to buy stuff.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, [My Name], what do you think of this handbag?”

Me: “Um, it’s ugly.”

Coworker #1: “But I really want to buy a bag when they are so discounted!”

(Coworker #2 walks up.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, [Coworker #2], what do you think of this bag?”

Coworker #2: “It’s ugly.”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, I know it’s ugly, but the lining fabric inside is really nice, and I will be looking inside it more often than looking at the outside. And they are only $11.99!”

Coworker #2: “REALLY?” *dives into the bags to choose several ugly handbags for herself*

(Both coworkers turn to me and tell me I need to get some for myself. Both also state their husbands are going to kill them for buying so much. Coworker #2 asks Coworker #1 to pay for hers so her husband won’t find out. They keep me back 45 minutes because I am the only one who can serve them. The next morning, it’s my job to tidy the mess they made on the handbag table.)

Me: *next to Coworker #1* “Hey, look! I found a bag I almost like”.

(My coworker has a bill collection agency that illegally calls her at work every day trying to speak with her after being told repeatedly to stop. They call for her after she has left for the day and I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Collector: “I need to speak with [Coworker], please. Does she work today?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you, ma’am. If you call tomorrow between the hours of seven and three, the manager will be able to give you more information.”

Collector: “Thank you.”

(She hangs up. Before I can leave the phone, it rings again and the same number comes up.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Collector: “I need to speak to [Coworker] and your manager. The last b*** I spoke to on the phone was very rude to me.”

Me: “Uhm… Well, lady, since this is the same ‘b****’ you just got off the phone with, no. No, I don’t believe I’ll be getting anyone important to talk to you.”

(I hang up. The phone rings again seconds later, again from the same number.)

Me: “[Store].”

Collector: “I need to speak to your manager.”

(I hang up again. The phone rings a FOURTH TIME. I yell at another coworker.)

Me: “[Coworker]! Answer it with the whorehouse!”

Coworker: *excited* “Really?!” *he answers the phone* “[City] whorehouse. You got the dough, we got the ho!”

(They haven’t called back since.)

(I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

(At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

Background: “What’s wrong?”

Caller: “They don’t have any.”

Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

Caller: “They sold out.”

Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

Caller: “Why did the- What?”

(He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

Background: “ALL of them?”

Caller: “YES!”

Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

(This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)

(I work in a newsagent that sells prepaid credit for mobile phones. The computer that prints out an individualised code to redeem the credit is unable to perform refunds so it is important that our staff triple checks the transaction before we hit the final OKAY. Sometimes customers would find this a little irritating. It was especially important because two of the different phone companies you could buy credit with had similar names. One was one of the major phone companies in Australia, the other very rarely purchased.)

Me: “Sir, I would just like to confirm that you would like to purchase $30 credit to use with your [Less Popular Brand] phone company.”

Customer: “For the last time, yes. How many times do you have to ask me?”

Me: “I do apologise, sir, but we are required to ask twice per transaction because I cannot give you a refund if you change your mind. I have asked you a third time to be extra careful because you have ordered the [Less Popular Brand] which people often misread as the [Popular Brand] one.”

Customer: “It is absolutely right. It is 100% definitely the [Less Popular Brand].”

(I complete the transaction and wish him a wonderful afternoon with a large grin, despite his grumpy attitude. Half an hour later, he storms back into the store, demanding to talk to my manager.)

Customer: “This d*** b**** sold me the wrong f****** credit! I want a refund! I am going to buy my credit card from the other f****** newsagent in the shopping centre!”

(He continued to rant for another ten minutes before my manager realised it wasn’t worth the hassle and gave him a refund. Note: he did go to the other newsagent to buy his phone credit but I don’t think he realised it was the same franchise, with the same owners.)