Actually, You Look More Like A C-Cup

, | Right | November 11, 2007

Customer: *looking at batteries* “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

(Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it)

Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

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Casting An Extra Super Duper Ginormously Wide Net

, | Right | November 10, 2007

Me, on the phone: “Thank you for calling Hollister, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific shirt, I was wondering if you have it?”

Me: “Okay, can you describe it?”

Customer: “Well it’s blue, and it says “Hollister’ on it.”

Me: “Riiiiiiigghhht.”

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How Do These People Remember How To Breathe?

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2007

(Older lady comes in, doesn’t know me, yet decides to make me intimately knowledgeable about her husband’s surgery; she eventually runs out of steam when I don’t respond and looks around at the books on the shelves.)

Lady: “I like books.”

Me: “Good! Anything you’re looking for?”

Lady: *ignores my question* “I saw on TV that books are good to have because they make your house look nice.”

Me: *barely stifling a smile* “Really? I heard they’re also good to read.”

(Evidently, my comment goes right over her.)

Lady: “And you can use them to prop up the bed.”

(Her husband buys books, and then swiftly escorts her out.)

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Hopeless

, , | Right | November 9, 2007

(A customer comes up behind my counter just as I am about to serve another customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but why isn’t this WA Salvage?”

Me: “Because all the WA Salvages closed down and we bought the building.”

Customer: “So where’s the nearest one?”

Me: “Uh, they’ve all been bought out.”

Customer I Was Serving: “Mate, there aren’t anymore. They all closed down!”

Customer: “So wheres the nearest one?”

(I gave him a bad look, turned around, and continued serving the original customer)

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Someone Needs A Trip To The Warhol Museum

, , | Right | November 8, 2007

(Note: this customer is yelling at me over something stupid in the first place…)

Customer: *pause* “Who is that on your shirt?”

Me: *slightly taken aback by the change in subject* “Ernesto “Che” Guevara.”

Customer: “Who is that?”

Me: “A Cuban revolutionary.”

Customer: “My husband is Cuban… Would he know about that guy?”

Me: “Yeah.”

(Customer calls her husband and talks to him for a second)

Customer: “My husband says he is a communist. Are you a communist?!”

Me: “Only on paper, ma’am.”

Customer: *blink blink* “I don’t get it!”

Me: “I didn’t think you would.”

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