Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Methinks Thou Hast A Stick Up Thine Arse

, , , | Right | April 5, 2008

(I’ve worked in a convenience store and a computer shop, and I’ve got a little joke about credit cards and a disarming smile and laugh that people seem to enjoy…but this once…)

Customer: “Do you guys take credit cards?”

Me, smiling: “Sure do, but we don’t give ’em back.”

Customer: *very angry* “You’d god-d*** better give it back or I’ll have you arrested on the spot!”

Me: “That was a joke …”


This story is part of the Humorless Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Hilarious Customer Stories When Sarcasm Was The Only Answer

 

Read the next Humorless Customers roundup story!

Read the Humorless Customers roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,824

The Adventures Of Captain Obvious

, , , , , | Right | April 4, 2008

Me: “Would you like the 4-piece meal or the 6-piece meal?”
Customer: “What’s the difference?”

——–

Me: “Would you like the quarter pound classic burger or the half pound classic burger?”
Customer: “Which one is bigger?”

——–

Customer: “How big is the 6 inch?”

——–

Customer: “How many come in a four-pack?”

——–

Customer: “Is your Sunday special on Sundays only?”

——–

Customer: “Does your turkey chic pea chili soup have beef in it?”

——–

Customer: “What flavor is your vanilla ice cream?”

——–

Customer: “What’s the difference between the lemon and the vanilla?”

——–

Customer: “Hi, do you sell books here?”
Me: “This is a bookstore, ma’am.”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Pittsford Plaza Cinema, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, hello. Are you located in the Pittsford Plaza?”

——–

Me: “Thank you for calling Saltgrass Steakhouse in Meyerland Plaza where our gift cards make great holiday stocking stuffers. How may I assist you?”
Customer: “Hi, is this Saltgrass?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “In Meyerland right?”
Me: “Yes…”
Customer: “Do you have giftcards?”‘
*click*

1 Thumbs
2,483

Everyone’s A Comedian

, , , | Right | April 4, 2008

(A customer calls our store and asks about a computer.)

Customer: “Hello, I was wondering how big the hard drives in y’all’s computers are?”

Me: “Well the largest hard drive size we have is 1 terabyte. You can get four of those–”

Customer: *cuts me off* “A terawhat? I’ve heard of a pterodactyl!” *screeches like a pterodactyl might have and hangs up the phone*

1 Thumbs
1,757

Big Ticket Items Will Require A Goat

, , , | Right | April 3, 2008

(It was late into my eight-hour shift at a huge retail drugstore chain, and I was getting tired of dumb questions.)

Customer: “Do you take credit cards here?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We only take live chickens and large rocks.”

(The customer actually had a sense of humor and started laughing, while my manager was laughing too hard to yell at me.)

1 Thumbs
3,335

The Pope Might Have Something To Say About That

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2008

Customer: “Sir, it is a sin to sell these Halloween decorations.”

Me: “How else could folks get them?”

Customer: “That’s not the point. Halloween is for devil worshippers.”

Me: “No, it’s a Christian holiday, ushering in All Saints’ Day.”

Customer: “No, that’s Catholic. I’m a Christian.”


This story is part of our Devilish Halloween roundup!

Read the next Devilish Halloween roundup story!

Read the Devilish Halloween roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,166