(The store has just opened, and the first customer in the store is a very elderly gentleman in an electric wheelchair. He approaches me in the hardware department.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: *after long pause* “… I need screws.”

Me: “Okay, the screws are right here behind me. What size do you need?”

Customer: *points* “Hand me that box.”

(I hand him the box, and he opens it and removes one screw.)

Customer: “Now… I need protection for my screw. Where would I get that?”

Me: “Well, the nuts and washers are all right here.”

Customer: “No…” *doing air quotes with his fingers* “‘PROTECTION,’ for my ‘SCREWS.'”

Me: “I don’t follow you, sir…”

Customer: *talking under his breath* “… rubbers.”

Me: “Rubbers?”

Customer: *yelling* “CONDOMS, OK?! I NEED CONDOMS!”

Me: “Sir, this is a farm supply store… We don’t sell those.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *hands me back the screws* “Put these back, I don’t need them.”

(It is a blistering hot summer and my mother doesn’t want to get out of the car’s A/C, but we need ice. So she gives me $10 and sends me into a local liquor store to pick some up. I am 18 at the time, but only buying ice.)

Cashier: “ID, please.”

Me: “Uh, I just want to buy this.” *holds out the $10*

Cashier: *visibly annoyed* “ID!”

Me: “I know you sell liquor mostly, but I’m just here for ice. I don’t have my ID on me.”

Cashier: “No ID, no sale!”

Me: “Uh… okay, then.

(I put the ice back and walked out to the car my mom laughed at me the whole way home. A few years later my 21st birthday card read ‘Congrats! You can now buy ice!’)

(My sons and I decided to try an experiment wherein we found a reason to compliment at least three people a day. We were doing this in our local store, telling people they had a nice shirt, had handled a situation well, or some such thing. When I told an elderly woman she had a pretty shirt, she just stares at me.)

Elderly Woman: “Are you stupid or something?”

(I am starting off a semester with a new college roommate. We are going shopping together for a fridge for our dorm. A woman I don’t know talks to us as we’re looking at the fridges.)

Woman: “That’s a good one.” *points to one*

Roommate: “Oh, thanks! It’s a little out of our price range.”

Woman: “Why are you buying a fridge?”

Me: “We’re students at the university. We’re rooming together this year and neither one of us has a fridge, so we figured we needed one.”

Woman: *with great pride in her voice* “Good for you! Good for you!”

(She walks away.)

Me: “Do you know her?”

Roommate: “Nope. No idea who she is.”

(We finally choose a fridge and head toward the checkout. In line behind us are two older women.)

Woman #1: “You girls are buying a fridge, huh?”

Roommate: “Yeah, for our dorm room.”

Woman #2: “Good for you! I’m so proud of you guys!”

Me: “Thank you?”

(We never did figure out what in the world was so admirable about buying a fridge for our dorm, but I think we made a lot of random women in that store very impressed with the younger generation that day.)

(Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

(The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)