(I’m shopping at a large chain clothing store for essentials (shirts, pants, etc.). I gather my things and head toward the checkout where a young, attractive female cashier is working. I set my things down on the counter, and start digging through my purse for money.)

Cashier: *begins folding clothes* “Hi. How are you today?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. And yourself?”

Cashier: “Doing great!”

(The cashier picks up on of the pairs of underwear I’m purchasing and looks them over before she folds them.)

Cashier: “Oh, these are cute!”

Me: “Yeah. That’s why I picked them.”

Cashier: “I don’t suppose there’s any way I’ll see them on you…”

Me: “Umm…”

(I have no issue with anyone’s sexual preferences, but it was such an odd come-on that I just laughed, bought my things, and left.)

(The store has just opened, and the first customer in the store is a very elderly gentleman in an electric wheelchair. He approaches me in the hardware department.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: *after long pause* “… I need screws.”

Me: “Okay, the screws are right here behind me. What size do you need?”

Customer: *points* “Hand me that box.”

(I hand him the box, and he opens it and removes one screw.)

Customer: “Now… I need protection for my screw. Where would I get that?”

Me: “Well, the nuts and washers are all right here.”

Customer: “No…” *doing air quotes with his fingers* “‘PROTECTION,’ for my ‘SCREWS.'”

Me: “I don’t follow you, sir…”

Customer: *talking under his breath* “… rubbers.”

Me: “Rubbers?”

Customer: *yelling* “CONDOMS, OK?! I NEED CONDOMS!”

Me: “Sir, this is a farm supply store… We don’t sell those.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *hands me back the screws* “Put these back, I don’t need them.”

(It is a blistering hot summer and my mother doesn’t want to get out of the car’s A/C, but we need ice. So she gives me $10 and sends me into a local liquor store to pick some up. I am 18 at the time, but only buying ice.)

Cashier: “ID, please.”

Me: “Uh, I just want to buy this.” *holds out the $10*

Cashier: *visibly annoyed* “ID!”

Me: “I know you sell liquor mostly, but I’m just here for ice. I don’t have my ID on me.”

Cashier: “No ID, no sale!”

Me: “Uh… okay, then.

(I put the ice back and walked out to the car my mom laughed at me the whole way home. A few years later my 21st birthday card read ‘Congrats! You can now buy ice!’)

(My sons and I decided to try an experiment wherein we found a reason to compliment at least three people a day. We were doing this in our local store, telling people they had a nice shirt, had handled a situation well, or some such thing. When I told an elderly woman she had a pretty shirt, she just stares at me.)

Elderly Woman: “Are you stupid or something?”

(I am starting off a semester with a new college roommate. We are going shopping together for a fridge for our dorm. A woman I don’t know talks to us as we’re looking at the fridges.)

Woman: “That’s a good one.” *points to one*

Roommate: “Oh, thanks! It’s a little out of our price range.”

Woman: “Why are you buying a fridge?”

Me: “We’re students at the university. We’re rooming together this year and neither one of us has a fridge, so we figured we needed one.”

Woman: *with great pride in her voice* “Good for you! Good for you!”

(She walks away.)

Me: “Do you know her?”

Roommate: “Nope. No idea who she is.”

(We finally choose a fridge and head toward the checkout. In line behind us are two older women.)

Woman #1: “You girls are buying a fridge, huh?”

Roommate: “Yeah, for our dorm room.”

Woman #2: “Good for you! I’m so proud of you guys!”

Me: “Thank you?”

(We never did figure out what in the world was so admirable about buying a fridge for our dorm, but I think we made a lot of random women in that store very impressed with the younger generation that day.)