(I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

(The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

Manager: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

(The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

(He never talked to said employee.)

(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

(I’m leaving a clothing store and notice a fairly attractive young lady about to enter. Instead of letting the door swing shut I catch it and hold it open for her. Note that I do this for anybody about to follow me through a door.)

Woman: *smiling serenely* “Thanks…” *enters and turns around* “F****** chauvinistic pig!”

(I’m left stunned as she walks off.)

(I’m on the floor helping a customer in our perfume department. She picks up two full-sized perfume boxes and heads up to the registers. The line is long, so I follow her up and ring the line down. Finally, she approaches my register.)

Me: “Hi, again. Decided to just get the perfumes?”

Customer: “Huh? No. I need to return these.”

Me: *turns the perfume around and point to the soft sensors on the back of the boxes* “Seriously?”

(The customer finally looks at me and I can see the instant she recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh… uh… forget it.” *runs out of the store*

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(I am the assistant manager at a local video game/electronics store. A customer comes into the store when it is empty. He is really nice and we are talking about what type of video games and music we enjoy. It was your typical sales conversation and that was all. The next day when it is swamped, my coworker tells me there is a customer on the phone that would like to speak to a manager. I pick it up and professionally introduce myself.)

Customer: “Hey, I am glad it is you that is there. Remember me? I am the guy you talked to yesterday about [Video Game].”

Me: “I am really sorry, sir, but I talk to a lot of people each day. Was there an issue with the game you purchased yesterday?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to call and see if maybe you wanted to go out.”

(I stand there looking at a line to the door and see the customers’ faces start to get upset.)

Me: “I am sorry but I have a line to the door right now and cannot talk about this. Can I put you on hold and get back to you in a few minutes?”

Customer: “You are just going to hang up on me. You are just being a b****. If you didn’t want to go out with me, you shouldn’t have flirted with me.”

Me: “Sir, I am sorry you feel that way but I cannot talk about this right now. I am going to put you on hold and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

(I put the customer on hold and he hung up in a few minutes. The next day my manager let me know that I received a complaint from a customer who was upset that I turned him down for a date and recommended that I be let go for bad customer service!)