At Least She Tried: Racism, Sexism AND Jesus

, , , | Right | January 4, 2008

Female Customer: *from 15 feet away* “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes?”

(Customer comes over with her friends and a dirty soccer-ball shaped pillow.)

Female Customer: “This is the last one and it’s dirty. I want 20% off!”

Me: “I’d like to give you a discount, but you’ll have to talk to one of my superiors. I don’t have the authority to do that.”

Female Customer: *points towards the sky* “My only superior is up there, and He’s the only one who I take orders from. ”

Me: “Let me see if I can get a manager.”

(I call for a manager, and of course, no one shows up. After 10 minutes…)

Female Customer: “Why can’t you give me a discount?”

Me: “Because I don’t have the authority.”

Female Customer: “Well, I think you can’t give me a discount because you don’t believe in Jesus!”

Me: “You can take that item to the service desk, and I’m sure they’d be able to help you out.”

Female Customer: “Yeah and we’ll stick out like a bunch of sore thumbs since we’re the only black people in the store!”

Me: “Actually, our store manager is African-American, as well as two of our assistant managers, who are both women.”

Female Customer: “Oh.” *she finally walks away*

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Mindless Consumerism, How I Love Thee

, , | Right | January 2, 2008

Kid: “Mommy! Mommy! I want those shoes!”

Mom: “Why do you want those shoes?”

Kid: “Because everyone else is wearing them.”

Mom: “Wouldn’t you want to get something different and be more original?”

Kid: “No… then I wouldn’t be original like everyone else!”

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Just Wait Until Congress Hears About This

, , | Right | December 27, 2007

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”

Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”

Me: “A what?!”

Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls… the little card thing…”

(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)

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Sticking To Your Guns

, , , | Right | December 25, 2007

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “That’s all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on… six dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your six dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

(The customer came back two hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt.)


This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

Read the next Christmas Eve roundup story!

Read the Christmas Eve roundup!

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Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2

, , | Right | December 20, 2007

(I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

(Customer walked off to continue their search.)

 

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