(I am the customer in this story. I have just had a rant about customers in my store not reading signs to my fiancé while he was buying shoes.)

Me: “Ah, these are nice.” *to sales clerk* “Excuse me, there is no 50% off sticker on these. Don’t you have a 50% off sale like the sign on the window says?”

Sales Clerk: “Uh, no. That only applies to certain brands and this brand isn’t on sale.”

Me: “Oh, no! I’ve turned into that customer that doesn’t read the whole sale sign! I was just ranting about those!”

(We had a good laugh and talked about horrible customers and how sometimes we accidentally have those moments, so I think I was forgiven.)

(I work for a firearm retailer. We put out an ad every month stating our monthly sales. It always states ‘while supplies last.’ A ‘brick’ is 500 rounds of ammo. A well dressed older gentleman walks up to counter.)

Me: “Hello, sir. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’d like to buy a brick of 22.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We sold out earlier today.”

(The customer pulls out the ad, slams it on the counter and points to the bricks of 22.)

Customer: “And then what is this?”

Me: “It’s an ad for 22, but everything is ‘while supplies last.'”

Customer: “Do you understand the law of ‘false advertising?'”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, [My Name], you will be hearing from my lawyer!” *smirks and briskly walks away*

Manager: “Third threat of legal action this month; we’re on a roll.”

(A lawyer actually called the next day and mentioned me specifically. He stated that he was only calling because his client paid him to ‘look into it.’ Nothing, of course, happened.)

(I’m chatting with a customer as her husband tries on some jeans.)

Me: “Oh, wow, what is that amazing smell?”

Customer: “I just baked a bunch of bacon cookies before we came here.”

Me: “Those sound so good. Oh, look, here he comes. Do they fit okay?”

(Her husband was really picky about the jeans, but after about an hour I found a few pairs they both liked.)

Customer: “How long are you working today?”

Me: “My shift’s up, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

(The next day…)

Customer: “Hi, remember me?”

Me: “Sure do. Was everything okay with the jeans?”

Customer: “They’re awesome. I just wanted to give you these.”

(She hands me a gallon zip lock bag crammed full of bacon cookies. I’m speechless.)

Customer: “Thank you so much for all your help yesterday.”

(They were the best cookies ever. Thank you, wherever you are!)

(It’s been a long night and our store has given its 15 minute alert for customers to check out before we close the registers. I work in the children’s department and am watching a boy about eight years of age standing at the underwear display looking around nervously and fidgeting.)

Boy’s Mother: *walks over* “What are you doing?”

Boy: *whispers something, causing his mother to go red in the face*

Mother: “Are you SERIOUS? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Do you have any common sense at ALL?!”

(The boy hangs his head as his mother takes a breath. I turn to leave thinking he confessed a wrongdoing to his mom so it wasn’t my business. I’m stopped by a tap on the shoulder.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Mother: “I’m sorry to bug you, but… my son’s finger is stuck in a hole in the display.”

Me: “Really?”

Mother: “Yes, sorry about that.”

Me: *lifting up my walkie talkie* “[Boss]? I have a little boy with his finger stuck in the underwear display… It’s turning purple and I need assistance.

Boss: “Very funny.”

Me: *seriously* “No… really.”

Boss: “Oh, GOD!”

(Half the store and both managers came to help. It took a mixture of butter substitute, hand sanitizer, and neosporin to save the finger!)

(I’m working at a national retail electronics store. We’re required to attempt to collect demographic data in the form of a ZIP code, unless the customer is from another country.)

Me: “That will be [total]. May I have your ZIP code?”

Customer: “I’m from Ontario. ”

Me: “Ontario….?”

Customer: “Oh, my god! You Americans are so ignorant about any other country! You should know it’s in Canada! Honestly!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is an Ontario, Oregon and an Ontario, California in the US that I know of. Since you’re from Canada, I don’t need your information. Have a nice day.”

(The customer’s face turned red, and they left immediately.)

Related:
The Oregon Fail

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